Lasting Partners
by YaoiPhox
Summary: Main: SasoDei followed by KakuHida. How did Hidan come to join Akatsuki? What did Deidara do before Sasori and Kisa and Ita came to him? Sasori and Deidara struggle with a little prob of the Blonde's. Hidan and Kakuzu reawaken a long-felt crush. MATURE!
1. Part One A

_Okay, let me start with a quick...-ish... author note:_

_Yes, there are OCs and some characters may be OOC. There is also pairings other than the main; so be prepared (I assure the main will 'last' and are only significant). I started this when I was w/o e-net since I had nothing better to do. I would appreciate advice; reviews; faves; etc. If you decide to not read this, it is understandable: but at least give it a try._

_The warnings: YAOI; LANGUAGE; And other such things in later chapters. Characters'll get as perverted as me; which is pretty perverted o.o'_

_The creator of Naruto (c) Kishimoto_

_Also: These are broken into parts rather than chapters, sorry if anything confuses you; this story is just to help me vent._

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**1. Lost Another One**

"Kakuzu, where is your partner?" Pein, the Akatsuki leader addressed the stitched corpse.

"He was annoying, so I killed him. Now I have a total of five hearts." He smirked behind the mask as if it was obvious and normal.

"That's the 3rd this month. If you keep getting carried away like you do, there will be no one left in this organization." the leader scolded.

"Keh, well, it would help if the morons I've been paired with wouldn't get in my way." he huffed, looking away.

"Well, regardless, it looks as though we need to find you a new partner. In the meantime, however, I will have you working with Sasori. I'm sure he needs a break from that kid."

"Deidara? What'd he do?" A puzzled expression crossed Kakuzu's face. He didn't really think Deidara was that bad, sure he could be loud, but he too was a freak to sympathize with.

"Apparently, one of his bombs… well… you were away when this happened… so…" the leader trailed, cleared his throat and directed, "Anyways, Sasori has been informed that, should you lose yet another partner, he would temporarily take their place."

"Fine. He better not get in my way, what's our mission then?"

"One that should appeal to a money grubber such as yourself, Kakuzu." Sasori's dull tone sounded from the doorway of Pein's room. Kakuzu spun to face the puppet that hid the puppeteer.

"So there's lots of money involved?" A slight shiver of anticipation ran down his spine.

"Yes, someone has been spotted in the outskirts of this village of rogue rain ninja and there is quite a hefty bounty over his head, or so Zetsu's heard." Pein explained.

"Is there a poster or picture?" Kakuzu asked.

"No, just a word on the wind."

"Hmph, not even a description?" Kakuzu growled; he didn't feel like doing much work if no profit is guaranteed.

"Now, now, do not fret. I know of someone who will pay us for simply capturing him. Does the name Sara ring a bell?" The leader smiled when a look of shock crossed Kakuzu's face.

"Sara?" Sasori shot a questioning glance in Kakuzu's direction.

"You know how I made my money before I joined this organization with you and Deidara?"

"The loaning of young men to anyone interested?" Sasori almost snickered.

"Hey, it had excellent pay." Kakuzu growled defensively.

"Then why don't you want to go back?" Sasori asked.

"Well, I don't think I'll be welcomed back after I let Deidara 'run away'." He shrugged.

"Sara is the woman that runs the place and she is eager to get this person returned to her. So, relax Kakuzu, it is not you she wants returned." Pein explained.

"Still no picture or name then?" Sasori asked this time.

"Afraid not, now, no more delay." Pein took a folder from a cabinet beside the desk he was sitting at and handed it to Kakuzu's ready hand. "You have until tomorrow afternoon to prepare for your mission. I suppose I should wish you good luck then." with that the leader motioned to the door and Kakuzu and Sasori exited.

**2. Before Departure**

Kakuzu exhaled as he entered the base's kitchen area with Sasori. Sasori looked around for his usual partner while Kakuzu sat at the table beside Kisame. The puppet master gave up his search soon enough and followed Kakuzu, sitting across from him.

"Where's Itachi, Kisame?" Sasori asked the blue fish-like man.

"Sleeping, thanks to the explosion the little artisan created, nobody got much sleep." He rumbled sleepily. Kakuzu examined Kisame's face a bit and noticed the dark circles forming.

"Glad I wasn't here." he laughed.

"Where's Kuro-kun?" Kisame noted, realizing the blonde's absence.

"Same place as his other partners." Sasori stated bluntly.

"Aw, I was beginning to like that guy. Sure he was a pain in the ass sometimes. I thought for sure he wouldn't get killed as easily." Kisame put on a false look of disappointment. It was as if he really did miss the kid; Kakuzu snickered. It looked more like a sneer.

"Good morning, Kakuzu-danna, welcome home, hmm." The three men ceased their conversion and turned to face the blonde teenage artisan.

"Heard about the mischief you created while I was gone." Kakuzu chortled.

"Now I have to share a room with you, hmm." Deidara grinned, taking the seat beside the old man. "Good thing Kuro's gone, Sasori can have his bed."

"Why my room?" Kakuzu's odd eyes met Sasori's.

"Zetsu's not willing to share; he'd probably eat us anyways, Konan's a girl, and Pein is our leader." the rogue sand ninja explained.

"What about Itachi and Kisame's room?" Kakuzu growled.

He noticed Kisame freeze, avoiding his dagger-like glare. Before anyone in the room could answer, Itachi entered the room, taking the seat on the other side of Kisame. His red eyes were closed, still sleepy.

"Damnit… Deidara, you're lucky I'm too tired to do anything." He rumbled.

"Itachi… he's already apologized." Kisame tried to comfort the ticked off Uchiha.

"No, he hasn't, that's why he's sleeping with Kakuzu tonight rather than me." Sasori glared at the blonde sitting diagonally across from him.

"Where are you sleeping, Sasori?" Konan had entered to make breakfast for the others.

"Morning, Konan." Kakuzu still sounded angry for not being informed of the new roommates ahead of time.

"I'll be sleeping in Kuro's bed tonight." Sasori explained.

"**Eh? **What about Kisame and Itachi's room?" The final member entered, the "lookout" with split-personality disorder, Zetsu.

"Hell no." Itachi glowered.

"Why? **I assume there's too much nightly commotion?" **The dark side snickered, "What do you mean, 'nightly commotion'?" The human-like side asked. There was a pause, "Oh… **Yep… **ew? **Eh…"**

Everyone stared.

"Wh**at**?"

"We do not!" Kisame shouted, blushing slightly.

"Yeah, I'm not interested in shark-boy." Itachi yawned.

"Really?" Kakuzu voiced while Deidara and Konan eyed the two.

"Really!" Kisame blushed deeper, looking at the table.

"Really." Itachi confirmed, nodding nonchalantly.

"I don't know who to believe." Sasori said, leaving the room. "I'm gonna prepare for the mission, try not to keep me waiting, Kakuzu."

"Fine…" Kakuzu paused then jumped up, "Hold on! You can't just waltz into my room!" Sasori had already vanished with Kakuzu steaming after him.

"Konan, I want sushi!" Kisame exclaimed.

"I'm going back to bed." Itachi sighed, pushing away from the table.

"I'll have waffles." Deidara requested.

"We already ate. **We'll take one of everything."**

"Fine, breakfast'll be ready in a few minutes." Konan said in an uncaring tone.

_Later that night~_

Sasori and Kakuzu had finished packing for their mission and Deidara had entered Kakuzu's room. Sasori was no longer hiding under his Hiruko and was relaxing on a bed, hands behind his head, propped on a pillow. Deidara was waiting for Kakuzu to get out of the bathroom, playing with non-detonating clay, occasionally glancing over at Sasori's agitated face. Sasori noticed the glances and sat up, eye twitching.

"What?!" He snapped.

Deidara jumped slightly, his hands devoured the clay he was molding. "Don't do that! Hm! Now I'm out of clay until Kakuzu-danna buys me more supplies! Hmm!"

"So?"

"Baka! HMM! Now what will I entertain myself with!?" Deidara pouted, anger quickly began to be pushed out by tears.

Sasori reeled, startled, then recovered, getting up to sit besides his partner. Deidara sobbed dryly for a few seconds, calming down. The sobs turned to deep breaths. Sasori said nothing for awhile. They heard the water stop flowing from the bathroom.

"Sasori, I'm sorry." Deidara sighed.

"Damn right you're sorry." Sasori scoffed, getting back up to return to the other bed. He waited, watching Deidara stand up. "You still wanna sleep with Kakuzu?" Sasori faltered.

"Yeah, I'm not feeling very loved by you right now." Deidara stated simply. Sasori didn't argue and the bathroom door opened. Kakuzu looked from Deidara to Sasori and cleared his throat, trying to clear the tense atmosphere. Deidara looked up from the floor and left for the bathroom, brushing past Kakuzu. The door slammed shut.

"Another fight?" Kakuzu sighed, removing his mask. "You've changed, Sasori, since you left to join this organization."

"I don't know what you mean. However, I do know you need to mind your own damned business." Sasori hissed, flopping down on his side, yanking the covers over himself.

"Deidara's love life is my business." He replied, but Sasori ignored him, giving an agitated snort.

Soon Deidara was out of the bathroom and Kakuzu was in his twin-sized bed. Kakuzu scooted towards the edge of the bed, lifting the covers as Deidara joined him. Once Deidara had settled down, he covered the blonde with the light sheet. Deidara yawned and snuggled closer to him; under the tan, stitched arm.

"G'night, hmm." Deidara yawned again.

Kakuzu grunted, falling into the once familiar sleeping pattern. Sasori turned back to face the two and sighed.

'_I'm sorry, Deidara.'_

**3. Supplies**

Kakuzu awoke early the next morning, his stitched arm trapped in the still sleeping craft man's arms. Sasori was already awake, getting back inside his Hiruko. Kakuzu detached his arm, knowing Deidara wouldn't release it until he's fully awake. Sasori watched Kakuzu slowly get out of the bed and approach his closet. Kakuzu donned his mask and Akatsuki cloak.

"We need to go to the market and pick up some supplies. We have until the afternoon; I don't want to keep this 'Sara' person waiting." Sasori instructed, turning to leave.

"But!" Kakuzu stopped, glancing at his arm, "Urgh, fine." He hurried after Sasori, leaving his detached arm to be squeezed by Deidara.

_In Market~_

Kakuzu easily kept pace with the puppet Sasori chose for his shield. There was no need for them to disguise themselves in this smaller village for everyone knew and supported the Akatsuki and their Godly leader. They were all rogue ninja, mainly of the Hidden Rain. Kakuzu saw no reason why their leader was considered a Godly figure or why there was any reason to follow such trivial beliefs of a higher being. The only thing worth living is money.

"What do we still need?" Kakuzu asked, breaking the silence between the two that had been growing since last night.

"Deidara blew up our room, so I no longer have things to tend my puppets with. It might also be wise to gather something to occupy him with so he doesn't trouble anyone while we're gone. He's not aloud detonating clay for awhile; I'm not allowing it unless we have a mission." Sasori explained.

"Harsh." Kakuzu laughed.

"Brat deserves the punishment." Sasori defended himself.

"We're going to a craft shop then?" The stitched man increased his pace, stopping a few shops away. Once Sasori reached the door, they entered.

"Kakuzu, you take care of the non-detonating clay, I'll get my items." Sasori instructed.

"I'm glad Deidara has found you. I just hope you last." Kakuzu said softly before hurrying away, leaving Sasori staring after, bewildered.

_Back at Base~_

Deidara yawned, rolled over, and slowly opened his blue eyes. He blinked a few times before he realized he was alone again; or… at least… there was no full person around. He looked down at Kakuzu's arm mischievously.

"Kuku, just like old times, hmm." Deidara looked around to confirm he was alone.

He let the arm rest on the bed in front of him while he admired his own hand. A frown appeared as he remembered the trouble his hands caused. He looked hard for the marks that used to be clearly visible, the marks left from Kakuzu stitching the mouths shut in attempt to help Deidara seem normal. Sasori was the only client that didn't have an interest in Deidara's body, but in Deidara himself, or so Deidara told himself. He watched Kakuzu's hand begin to twitch and waited patiently. He reached for the hand, the tongue of his hand reaching for the detached arm.

"Been awhile since I've tasted you, Kakuzu-danna, hmm~."

_In the Base's Kitchen~_

Kakuzu and Sasori soon returned from the village and sat at the kitchen table waiting for the others to wake. Aside from Pein, Sasori, Kakuzu, and Kisame were the only ones awake so early. The time when Zetsu awakes is always unknown or uncertain. Sasori waited impatiently for Kakuzu to sort out the money and their supplies.

"I'll go ahead and hand these over to Deidara. You should wait here. I won't be long." Kakuzu finished, heading for his room.

"Oh, nnn~. Ah… damn… haa, haa." Kakuzu listened through the door to Deidara's panting and moaning. He waited patiently for Deidara's final moan indicating his climax. "Unn!"

"You done?" Kakuzu asked through the door, knocking once.

"…"

"Alright, go ahead and take a shower." Kakuzu turned the knob after hearing the springs of the bed as Deidara headed for the bathroom.

"Damn Deidara, seriously, I know you need to eat, but isn't that why you have Sasori?" Kakuzu closed the door behind him and looked at his arm left on the bed.

The shower hadn't started for Deidara slid down the door to sit, burying his head in his bare knees. "If I use him, he'll hate me and our relationship will be in ruins." Deidara's voice was shaky.

"You don't know that." Kakuzu spoke gently, reattaching his arm. "If you're not going to take your shower now, then come on out."

There was a pause as the bathroom door opened slowly. Deidara poked his head out to see Kakuzu head for his safe. He snuck back into the bed and pulled his clothes back on silently. Kakuzu turned after returning some money to the safe. Deidara looked at the arm dripping with his come. The tan man followed his gaze then headed for the sink.

"What is your mission?" Deidara sighed, deciding the silence was unwanted.

"The usual."

"A bounty?"

"Sorta."

"What do you mean by 'sorta', hmm?!" Deidara huffed.

"You remember Sara?" Kakuzu now stood in front of Deidara.

"Eh!? You mean that woman that owned me?" Deidara exclaimed, leaning forward.

"Technically, I owned you and she owned me, but yeah. She wants someone that ran." Deidara's eyes widened and Kakuzu added, "Don't worry; I'm sure she doesn't want you."

Kakuzu got the opposite reaction he was aiming for. "What in the world is that supposed to mean!? HM! That I'm no good? Hmm!" Deidara shouted until Kakuzu's hand shot out, covering his mouth.

"Of course not, I just mean that you weren't on that she kept locked up, you were a willing whore." Kakuzu explained simply, handing him the clay. "I better go now; that clay is a present from Sasori. He does love you, even if you fight. I'm sure he'll still love you if you fuck with him a bit. If you're that scared of eating his emotion, I could always stitch those hands up as well."

"Just go, I'll have things sorted out when you two return. Hmm." Deidara assured him.

**4. Sex Object**

Sasori quietly followed Kakuzu past the village. They were going to the old whorehouse to discover who they were supposed to find. It was at least a day's trip from base to the place, so Kakuzu warned Sasori to bring his own money if he didn't want to spend the night in the woods. Sasori had said he didn't mind though. The sun had begun to set when they reached a clearing.

"Might as well set up camp now." Kakuzu flopped down in the grass almost immediately.

"It's a good thing we don't really need to eat often. Neither of us likes talking much as well." Sasori stopped by Kakuzu, staying in his puppet.

"Yep, we're a perfect match, might as well make out." he shot a sly, sideways glance in Sasori's direction.

"…"

Kakuzu sat up, glaring at the motionless puppet, waiting for an answer.

"I thought you were joking." Sasori's voice rose in shock.

"And if I'm not? It's not like there's anybody here." Kakuzu chortled.

"No… if I do, I'll never be able to face Deidara." Sasori turned away.

"Hmm, that so?" Kakuzu said simply, lying back down to gather his thoughts.

"Kakuzu! You bastard, I know what you're doing." Sasori exclaimed suddenly, causing him to lose his train of thought. He gaped at Sasori, confused. "You were testing me. You think I'm only thinking of Deidara as a sex object." His voice was no longer raised, it was a normal tone as he continued, "If anyone sees him as a sex object, it is you."

"Jeez! Don't startle me like that; I actually thought you were mad at me." Kakuzu scowled. Sasori laughed.

"You remember it then?"

_Flashback~ A few years back~_

"See you tomorrow then, Deidara?" Sasori did not use a puppet to hide in, he stood at the doorway of a small hut, watching a younger Deidara leave. Deidara's hair was braided back with his bangs still covering his eye. He wore a fishnet sleeveless shirt that only covered half of his torso and a gathered skirt (similar to Shippuden Neji's, only black) over more fishnet that reached above his knees.

"Nah, maybe in a few days… Kakuzu-danna's pretty much filled my schedule. Keh, the moron is hard-fisted. HMM! I told him not to make you pay for one time and the geezer tells me I have to work twice as hard for the next 4 days, my ass is gonna be in pain. Hmm." He winced visibly, and then smiled, looking back at the puppeteer's empty expression.

"He considers you a sex object… no… more of a way to make money. You are being used is the point." Sasori hissed.

"Heh, think you know me well, don't you, sir?" Kakuzu appeared, dressed in a plain black cloak that hid his face. "Yes, I do see Deidara as nothing more than a way to make a quick buck. Is there a problem with that?" he snickered.

"Yes." Sasori replied.

"I'll see you later, Sasori~ hmm." Deidara waved, rejoining Kakuzu.

"Kakuzu, should Deidara's ass be too roughly treated, I'll kill you as many times as it takes as slowly and painfully as possible." Sasori warned.

"You can't kill Kakuzu-danna, hmm! He's immortal." Deidara laughed.

"There's no such thing as immortality, now come on, I'm going to miss out on the good money if you're late." Kakuzu growled, grabbing the collar around Deidara's neck and leading him away.

Sasori sighed, shaking his head as he retreated back inside.

_~End Flashback~ The Following Morning~_

Kakuzu awoke with Sasori sleeping a few feet away. He proceeded to stand, yawning on the inside as he did so. Sasori was still sleeping when Kakuzu approached and kicked the puppet. It soon sprang to life, poised to attack. The threat, however, was already going ahead.

"Damnit, Kakuzu, why'd you do that?" The puppet rose and rushed after the man.

"We need to get moving, that's why. Come on." He paused briefly to allow him to catch

up.

"You didn't have to kick me." He scowled.

"…"

"Grr…"

_Few Hours Later~_

Kakuzu slowed to admire the familiar hut that rested near their destination. Sasori stopped and completely changed directions, heading towards it. Kakuzu huffed and sat on a nearby stump. Inside this hut were parts of Sasori's earlier puppets from when he first met Deidara and his 'master'.

_~Flashback~ A few days before pre flashback~_

Sasori had left his village and traveled constantly before finding a place to stay until he found somewhere better. The owner of the shack was a swift enough kill. After Sasori set up, he went into town, stopping at a bar/inn that happened to catch his attention for some odd reason.

'Perhaps I should at least learn a little of the locals.' he thought to himself.

So he entered and approached the counter. The puppet that usually concealed him hasn't been created yet. The man he took a seat near was Kakuzu. Kakuzu was counting his money casually listening to a sexy blonde teenager that caught Sasori's eye.

"What can I get you, Master?" Sasori jumped when a young, feminine looking boy appeared from behind the counter, inches from his face.

Deidara looked away from Kakuzu and smirked. He reached across the table once Kakuzu finished counting his money for a 2nd time and tugged the cloak, nodding in Sasori's direction. As if a silent command had been given, Kakuzu got up.

"Back off, Jack. I don't think this guy's interested in a little girl such as you." He looked down on the boy until the boy sulked off, glaring back once before vanishing.

"Uh--"

"Listen, you mind watching that brat over there for me? I need a few drinks." Kakuzu motioned towards Deidara.

"Well--"

"Excellent. He's all yours, Deidara." Kakuzu finished, slinking to the back of the bar/inn.

"Oi! Wait, you can't just--"

"Sorry, he's a bit of a pain for me too. Name's Deidara, yours?" The blonde popped up from behind the counter.

"Sasori." He decided to give up explaining he didn't want to watch Deidara.

"Did you just arrive here?" Deidara asked.

"Yeah. Sort of." Sasori looked around.

"I hate that, un!" Deidara growled.

"Hate what?" Sasori pulled back a bit.

"'Sorta' or 'Sort of' is not a phrase I like to hear." He explained, a smile reappeared, "It's not a very good answer."

"…" Sasori had nothing to say, his brown eyes were locked with the blonde's blue.

"Do you think we could go somewhere a little quieter?" Deidara asked as a fight broke out. Kakuzu's doing, no doubt.

Deidara crawled from under the counter and led a confused Sasori out of the bar/inn. Kakuzu preferred Deidara fool around where he can usually find him. However Deidara wanted a break from Kakuzu.

"Where's your place, un?" Deidara smiled up at him.

Sasori found himself blushing as he led the stranger back to his recently acquired home. Deidara eyed the place with an unreadable expression on his face. Sasori headed up the stairs and Deidara shrugged, following him in. The first thing Deidara noticed was the puppet lying on the floor. The house was small with only a kitchen, bathroom, and bedroom. Sasori headed for the bedroom with Deidara following, shudders of anticipation rushing down his spine. The small bed was shoved off to the side of the room and puppet parts littered the corners of the room.

Deidara headed for the bed and watched Sasori head for the desk where he chose to work on his puppets. Silence stretched and Deidara concluded that this guy wasn't interested in fooling around.

"So you enjoy art?" the blonde asked, breaking the silence.

"Not really, I just…" Sasori trailed, turning to face him.

"I love art. My clan was made of sculptors, what about yours?"

"They worked with puppets. You said 'was', what happened to them?" Sasori asked.

"I blew them up with my art. Hmm!" Deidara smiled, "Are your folks alive?"

"No…" Sasori looked away, confused as to why anyone would do such a thing.

"I'm sorry, it appears I have offended you. Ha. My parents were about to hand me over to death and gladly. I simply got rid of them first is all. They locked me in the basement so… wouldn't you say they deserved it? Hmm." Deidara exhaled.

Sasori stood and then sat besides Deidara. He was silent and nodded. "I suppose." Deidara grinned, taking advantage of the subject.

"Is your lover dead?"

"Never had one." Sasori said, "I take it you did?"

"Yes, although I couldn't bring myself to blow her up." Deidara looked down, a wave of dark memories swept his thoughts away. Sasori's breathe increased, he looked so sad and yet, Sasori was glad. Not because Deidara was sad, but because he was so close.

"Do you want me right now?" Deidara recovered, with a smile to his voice. He leaned forward, forcing Sasori down.

Sasori reached up then faltered, remembering his body was different from most. Deidara sighed and rolled off.

"Sorry, I'm a prostitute, talking isn't really my thing."

"It's not you, believe me. You see, I'm sort of… different from most people." Sasori was still lying back, holding his hand in front of his face.

Deidara took the hand and forced Sasori to sit up. He swiftly and expertly removed his shirt before the puppeteer realized his puppet-like torso, and heart, was exposed.

"Ha, you have a problem similar to mine and much like my master's. Hmm." Deidara smiled, showing Sasori the stitched mouths on his hands. He nibbled at the stitches and pulled them out, wincing slightly. Sasori ogled as Deidara pulled off the articles covering his third mouth. "I'm different too."

His smirk was quickly crushed by Sasori's lips. Deidara was only slightly caught off guard. He broke free as Sasori caught his breath and proceeded to straddle his hips. Deidara wrapped his arms around Sasori's neck and began to nibble and lick the nape of his neck. Small, soft sounds of pleasure escaped Sasori's lips. He reached up a hand to rest on the long blonde hair while the other headed south, gently trailing down his back. Deidara's lips found their way back to Sasori's and he slipped his hands into the front of his pants.

"Deidara…" Sasori broke the wet kiss and he let his tongue caress Deidara's cheek.

Sasori stood, gently pushing Deidara down to kneel. Deidara's tongue flicked out, caressing the head of Sasori's erect member. He shivered in response and sat back on the bed, legs spread. Deidara leaned in, devouring him. His tongue rolled and he nibbled, earning a low grunt from Sasori. Deidara withdrew a bit, moving his hands up Sasori's legs. The tongues would occasionally lick along the way. Sasori was panting, and shaky. Deidara swallowed him further. Any other person would have gagged by now, but Deidara was skilled. He brought his hands back down and let them nibble and suck Sasori's sensitive areas.

"Ahh, haa, haa… Deidara, I-" no more was said as Sasori grit his teeth as he came in Deidara's mouth. He smiled, swallowing, "I'm glad I begged Kakuzu-danna to let me take you for free."

"…" Sasori had no reply, his breath depleted.

"Sasori… do you think we could just talk from now on? Hmm~?" Deidara asked, climbing into the bed.

Sasori glanced at Deidara then nodded.

_~End flashback~_


	2. Part One B

**5. The Explosion**

Once Sasori was through recalling the memory of his meeting, Kakuzu hurried them along. Their destination was in a second clearing just up ahead. The two were silent, listening for signs of attack. Sure enough, a shuriken whistled past the two and two men appeared. One dressed similarly to how Deidara used to dress. The second hid his face with a black cloak.

"Eh? Well now, I'll be damned, if it ain't ole Kuzu-sama-sensei." The cloaked figure grinned, pulling down his hood to reveal an attractive and conceited face.

"Sara is looking for a run-a-way?" was his only reply.

"Tch, I really wish she wouldn't hunt him down. He never wanted to be here in the first place." the younger male scoffed, moving his curly blonde hair behind his ear to reveal light pink bedroom eyes.

"Neither did you, and look at you now, you're one of the best. Almost as good as myself and Deidara." the other man laughed. "You'll have to forgive Suki; he was the escapee's cell mate. We were sent to find him… I assume you are here because Sara offered a bounty?"

"You know me well, Atari. We'll just follow you back to the house, learn a bit more, and then head out." Kakuzu informed, resting his hands on his hips.

"Alright, this way then." Atari spun on his heel, leading the way back to the brothel.

It was a fairly sized building, two stories above ground, one below. The main floor was for quests, the upper for "employees", and the lower held prisoners. Atari waited patiently as Suki stepped up to open the door for them. A counter was the first thing to be seen. A woman sat behind the counter. She had her red hair pulled back in a bun and wore a simple dark blue kimono. Kakuzu hurried to the counter, flanked by Atari and Suki. Sasori hesitated by the entrance. The woman's violet eyes widened as she recognized Kakuzu, she stood suddenly and jumped over the counter, embracing him.

"Kakuzu~! I missed you!!" She exclaimed, rubbing her pale cheek against his darker skin.

"Sara! Let-go-of-me!" Kakuzu struggled to escape the woman's stranglehold.

"IIE~~!" She whined, "I missed you!!!"

"I don't care, and I'm not coming back, the only reason I'm here-"

"Is for the money?" Sara finished, releasing her hold with a pout.

"Exactly, now, which one got away?"

"Suki, Atari, show 'im the cell and fill him in." Sara huffed, returning to her work at the counter.

"Hai, ma'am." They bowed their head then motioned for Sasori and Kakuzu to follow them.

The two were lead to a hall reaching back on the left side of the counter. This hall contained the stairways leading to the upper and lower level. They headed for the lower level.

"Kakuzu, it seems you knew Atari well…" Sasori trailed.

"Kakuzu-danna was both my master and then my mentor. Before he found Deidara, I was begging him to mentor me so I would be able to sell out whores as well as him. It's thanks to that moronic kid that he let me go." Atari explained with a laugh.

"You'll always be a whore to me, Atari." Kakuzu smirked.

"Ha-ha-ha. Real funny." Atari glared.

"Jashin help me." Suki muttered.

"Yeah, yeah, Jashin help us all. Damn, quit with all that religious crap." Atari scoffed.

"It's not crap; it's thanks to our beliefs that I was able to stand that fucking cell." Suki hissed.

"Our?" Sasori questioned.

"Yeah, the runaway shares the same beliefs as this knucklehead. His language was worse though, surely you recall him, Kakuzu?" Atari shot a sly glance in Kakuzu's direction. He had stopped cold.

"Who?" he uttered.

"That kid that was always yelling… the one that was only tamed by my pupil, Dei-dei." Atari explained.

"He's the one we're hunting down?" Kakuzu had resumed walking.

"Yeah."

"Kakuzu… you'll need to tell me details later, I'm not familiar with much of this conversation." Sasori growled.

"If you want a brief explanation," Suki began, "then I'll tell you the gist of how this business of ours works. This house of sexy, young male whores was started by Sara's mother. No one knows nor gives a damn as to why. She's the boss. Under her are the slave owners, or 'masters'… y'know, Kakuzu and Atari. Each master has a whore or two to themselves that they loan out. There are those that are willing, and ones that are like me. I was brought in against my will. The reason for them being dragged here varies."

The group had been passing a few cells with occupants whom were sleeping or sulking. Atari stopped at a cell that had it's bars blown out. The cell inside was charred black. Sasori started, recognizing the scene.

_~Earlier (while Kakuzu was on his mission w/ Kuro)~_

All was quiet through the Akatsuki base at midnight. In Deidara and Sasori's workshop-like room Sasori sat at his bench, working with a new puppet. Deidara was working in his corner, mixing his special clay. Pottery and clay figures littered one half, the other was occupied by Sasori's tools and materials. The two twin beds were pushed together against the wall beside the bathroom. The couple worked without looking at each other.

"Sasori, I'm hungry." Deidara huffed after awhile, sitting on the bed.

Sasori continued to work, "So get something to eat then."

"Why can't you do it, hmm?"

"I'm busy and you've got two working legs, use them." he growled in response.

Deidara exhaled and Sasori heard the springs as he got off the bed.

"Fine, I'll just eat some clay."

"Fine."

"I'll implode if I eat the clay." Deidara reminded.

"Then don't eat it."

"But I need to eat something."

"Then get something to eat, damnit!" Sasori shouted, spinning around, only to be caught in a tight embrace.

"Pleeea~se get something for me to eat~!" Deidara whined.

Sasori blushed, "You've been eating all day, if you're not careful, you'll get fat."

"But I'm so weak~" Deidara moaned.

"Fine, get off me and stop making so much noise, or I'll have to hear about it in the morning from Kisame."

"Arigatou!" Deidara gave Sasori a brief, yet lasting kiss before jumping off of him and dancing back over to the beds.

"Try not to screw around when I'm away."

"No promises!" He laughed.

Sasori sighed, shaking his head. He stood up and heading out for the kitchen, watching his step. Deidara smiled after him. The red head looked around to ensure no one was around before stepping out. He was three steps from the fridge when he heard a loud boom. He cursed under his breathe and hurried back to the room. The door was blown off it's hinges and the inside of the room was covered in black soot.

"……… DEIDARA!" Sasori glowered, marching into the room.

"Come on now Sasori, I didn't do it, honest!" Deidara's voice came from the safety of the bathroom.

"What the hell was that?" Sasori heard Kisame's voice in the room nearby.

"Must've been Deidara." He heard Konan and rushed to the bathroom.

"Damn that brat." The leader's voice was heard. Deidara stood in front of Sasori, ready to explain.

"I'm gonna feed him to Zetsu." Itachi growled.

"I'm sorry, in all honesty, I didn't do it." Deidara had said.

"Like hell you didn't." Sasori scoffed, then turned to where his puppets were hidden, safe from any explosions. (He had prepared for rooming with Deidara. XD)

"It's not worth protecting you. It's obviously your doing." Sasori took shelter in his puppet, hiding his true body again.

"So you don't believe me?"

"…"

_~End Flashback~_

"You said this kid knew Deidara… this must be his doing." Sasori noted.

"Yeah… Deidara-senpai gave him some kind of clay." Suki explained, "What did you say your name was?"

"Well, our work's done, no way the kid could've survived such an explosion in a small space." Kakuzu exhaled, ignoring Suki.

"Not true! We saw him walk past our cells!" Various unwilling whores defended.

"Must've been pretty lucky." Sasori smiled.

"Perhaps…" Kakuzu stepped in the cell and looked at the upturned bed. Sasori followed soon after.

They looked around the cell for a short while before something caught Sasori's eye. The were bare footprints left in the soot. He grunted to let Kakuzu know.

"Who has been in here since the explosion?" Kakuzu asked, turning back to face his old cohorts.

"Just me… why?" Suki asked, advancing towards the cell.

"Wearing shoes?" He indicated to the bare print by Sasori.

"That would be his print, the idea of wearing shoes doesn't appeal to him. He normally leaves them with Sara until he has to go out." Suki explained.

"So then he really did survive… we should head out."

"Alright…" Kakuzu left Sasori with Atari and Suki so he could talk to Sara.

"What's with this bed?" Sasori asked, pointing at the spikes poking out on top.

"Masochism." Atari laughed.

"Seriously?"

"Us Jashinists love pain." Suki smiled sensually.

"You Jashinists annoy the people of my religion." Atari scoffed, looking away from his partner.

"All you religious nuts are a pain in the ass." Kakuzu had returned.

"Ready?"

"Let's go."

"Yaya~!"

**6. Virgin**

"Sara said we might have a good chance asking around villages. She said Atari's in charge of questioning and interrogation." Kakuzu explained to Sasori.

"Atari?"

"You actually think we'd have any luck? We're already going to have to change our appearance. I've been gone for quite awhile as well." he explained.

The two where alone at Sasori's old place the morning after they arrived. Atari and Suki were on their way, letting the two change their appearance in peace. Sasori had an old puppet left in the house and was about to transfer his heart. Kakuzu merely had to weave a few signs, having already changed out of his Akatsuki cloak and into his old plain black one.

"I think I have an idea of who we're after. There was one time when I had Deidara and this other kid over. Considering that we're hunting someone that was Deidara's 'bitch'." Sasori mumbled.

"His name was Hidan." Kakuzu stated. "Now come on, Atari and Suki will be here soon."

Sure enough, once they had changed their appearance a knock was heard. The foursome started for the village nearby. Atari led them to a shady looking bar toward the edge of town. It was pretty vacant. Atari headed straight for the counter, Suki dancing after. The bartender looked old, with graying hair and crinkled eyes.

"Atari, Suki," he started for the door to the counter, "welcome, what can I help you two with?"

"Just some questions." Atari grinned. "About Hidan-chan, you are one of his regulars, no?"

"Yeah… why, something wrong?"

"He's missing." Suki explained.

Kakuzu and Sasori waited patiently for Atari to finish his questioning. Kakuzu remembered who this man was. He always asked for the young and pretty ones. He could see how Hidan would be his preferred choice. The violet eyes were what won Kakuzu over to allow him to be a disciple of Deidara. He had been careful in planning Deidara's customer when they were given Hidan for field trials. Always the virgin, Sasori.

_~Yet Another Flashback~_

Deidara was pacing in his room while Kakuzu filled out paper work. There was a knock at the door.

"Door." Kakuzu grunted. Deidara huffed and reluctantly opened their bedroom door. Atari was there.

"Kakuzu~ Hurry up, you said you'd help me choose my first product." he whined.

"Fine. Deidara, you'll be coming with. It's about time for you to have a student." Kakuzu tossed his paperwork aside and threw his cloak over his stitched body, hiding his masks.

The three headed down to the cells two floors down. Once they got to the first cell, they heard curses coming from the end. The guards were gathered around the cell, yelling to shut up. Atari puffed a quick laugh.

"Heh."

"Wonder who's in that cell… hmm?" Deidara followed Kakuzu and Atari down the way.

"Hidan; that kid is a pain in the ass. He's pissed because now he has to share a cell with a new kid." A guard explained.

"Interesting…" Kakuzu mumbled, approaching the cell.

"Lemme see 'im, hmm!" Deidara smiled, following him.

"That's right, I forgot Sara was assigning you guys some new ones." The earlier guard motioned for the others to return to their posts.

A slightly younger Suki stood against the wall, watching a very cross Hidan cursing the guards as they retreated. Kakuzu observed at a distance, pulling his hood over his face. Deidara and Atari smirked, eyeing up the stock. Hidan noticed, his dull violet eyes flashed with resentment. Deidara simply waved while Atari gulped. Suki pouted in the corner. Kakuzu whispered some questions to the guard, breaking out of his trance.

"Kakuzu-danna, can we take the rowdy one, he seems fun, hmm?" Deidara's smile widened as Hidan recoiled at the comment.

"In that case, I would probably take the quiet one. I had rowdy once before." Atari said, shooting a sly glance at Deidara.

"That should work." Kakuzu grinned behind his mask at his associates' playful behavior.

"You think you mother fuckers can handle me!?" Hidan screamed.

"No…" Deidara paused when the brat smirked, "I _know_ we can handle you. There's a difference, you know, hmm." That wiped the smirk off his face.

And so it was that Hidan became Deidara's student, much to Kakuzu's pleasure.

"Deidara, today you will be having Hidan, right?" Kakuzu and Deidara were back in their room, a day after.

"Yeah, why?" Deidara asked, poking his head out from under the covers.

"When was the last time you visited that Sasori?" he questioned, moving his knee slightly to brush Deidara's groin.

"Ah!" Deidara blushed, edging closer, "Um… you normally keep track of that, hmm?"

Kakuzu smirked, slowly pulling the covers down to expose Deidara. "You two don't have sex, right?"

"Mmm, what?" Deidara closed his eyes a little, waiting.

"Sasori is still a virgin?" Kakuzu loosely straddled Deidara, leaning closer.

"H-how do you know?" Deidara said now, blush gone, scowling a little.

"Because you usually beg me to fuck you or make you fuck someone afterwards." Kakuzu applied pressure on Deidara's erect member, Deidara showed little reaction.

"Doesn't mean he's a virgin, just means _I _haven't fucked him. Mnh!" Kakuzu smirked before kissing Deidara.

"Then you'll be taking the kid to Sasori's. He won't have to pay so long as he doesn't fuck the kid." He broke the kiss to observe Deidara's befuddled expression.

"Then what's the point of me even teaching him techniques?" Deidara questioned.

"Well, you still can, I won't mind if _you_ play with him. Just agree… after all, I am allowing you to visit your beloved Sasori for free." Kakuzu restrained a chuckle when Deidara turned red, nodding.

"Why though?" Deidara recovered, grinning as he wrapped his arms around Kakuzu's neck, drawing them closer to each other. "Is it right for me to believe you've got a bit of a crush, hmm?" Deidara exhaled slowly, seductively.

"Regardless of my feelings, they will die down soon as he is ready to be given to some other master." Kakuzu's face was expressionless as he held Deidara up, caressing the blonde's back.

"Then you're going to fuck me now rather than after? Hmm." Deidara licked his tan check.

"I think… both." Kakuzu shoved a finger in Deidara's entrance.

"Ah~! Mnn, 'nother." Deidara exhaled slowly. Kakuzu obliged, adding his middle finger. Deidara moaned and then said, "You should do this stuff with the kid then, if you got a crush. Hmm."

Kakuzu paused, withdrawing his fingers, earning a disappointed moan from the blonde. "Baka, that would just cause the kid to hate me, especially if he sees what I look like. Crushes are mainly one-sided and short-lived."

"But you're immortal, and about your appearance; I'm sure Hidan would be more repulsed by your personality, you geezer."

"No such thing as immortality." Kakuzu replied simply before quickly pulling out his own member, positioning, and thrusting it into the blonde whore.

"Gah!~ Owwie, why so rough!? Hmm?" Deidara panted, squeezing his eyes shut in pain.

"Sorry, although you should be used to this by now." Kakuzu snickered. "Let me know when to move."

There was a pause as Deidara brought his hand to Kakuzu's face. Kakuzu smirked softly before releasing his stitching on the mouth. The mouth worked on stretching after such a long time of being sealed, licking Deidara's slightly bloodied palm. Deidara then placed his hand below his waist.

"Ready, but start slowly, hmm!"

_~Sasori's Reaction to Hidan_

"Remember Deidara, no sex between Sasori and Hidan." Kakuzu had changed his appearance for Hidan was now with them.

"What the fuck do you mean, no sex? Isn't that the whole fucking purpose of me being stuck with you fucking assholes?" Hidan growled.

"Shut the hell up, ingrate! Hmm! Don't tell me you actually enjoy sleeping with every stranger that pays! HMM!" Deidara retorted.

"You tell me, fucking bitch. You sleep around for fun, I sleep around 'cuz I fucking have to." Hidan spat.

"Well, you don't have to this night, that's the point. Master's doing you a favor." Deidara growled.

"And you have no idea how rare those are from the cheapskate." Sasori had appeared on the porch, watching the debate.

"You'll be getting Deidara for free so long as the brat stays with him." Kakuzu tugged at the chain tied to Hidan's collar, and then handed it to Deidara.

"Fine, so long as they don't distract me from my work." Sasori mumbled, moving aside for Deidara to drag Hidan inside.

Later that afternoon Sasori was working at his table while Deidara and Hidan sat on his bed. Deidara was quietly playing with some clay that Kakuzu bought him… using Deidara's share of profit, of course. Hidan was nodding off, occasionally huffing. Deidara would look at Sasori's back anytime Hidan exhaled too loudly. Deidara stopped messing with the clay soon after he had crafted a small bird, for the fifteenth time. Hidan was snoring very lightly.

"Sasori…" Deidara spoke hesitantly, softly.

"Nani?" Sasori stopped working, turning to face the young artisan.

"Are you a virgin?"

"…?!!" Sasori went wide-eyed, blushing deeply. "W-w-why?"

"Are you?" Deidara got off the bed and approached Sasori.

"H-hai?" Sasori started to back away as Deidara advanced.

"Funny… a slut like me falls for a virgin. Opposites attract; although how Kakuzu-danna knew…" Deidara trailed, successfully having Sasori backed against the wall.

Sasori scowled, blushing slightly as he stood up swiftly. Deidara blinked quizzically as he was thrown on the bed, crushing the still sleeping Hidan. He then turned bright red as Sasori loomed over him, smiling darkly.

"S-Sasori, wha- mnh!" Deidara's question was cut off as Sasori passionately pressed his lips on Deidara's.

Sasori stopped to allow the blonde to catch his breath. "Is there a problem with my virginity? Would you like me to give it to you?" Sasori's breath intoxicated Deidara.

"Mmf!" Hidan finally awoke, having felt Deidara's weight shift.

Deidara and Sasori started, watching Hidan struggle to breathe. Deidara laughed nervously, using Sasori's shoulders as support to stand. Sasori growled, aggravated that the white haired boy had interrupted them. Hidan sat up, taking in a deep breath, glaring at Deidara. The blonde released Sasori, preparing to apologize.

"YOU MOTHER-FUCKING SHIT-HEADED HEATHENS! JASHIN! HOW DARE YOU!" Hidan shouted, startling the red-head.

"Aw, my poor deprived student, are you feeling left out?" Deidara held back a smile, showing false sympathy as he wrapped his arms around Hidan in a crushing hug.

"FUCK NO! You were just about to fuck around while crushing me in the fucking process!" Hidan blushed, struggling to escape Deidara.

Sasori sighed and returned to his chair. Deidara had the new kid pinned down, grinning playfully from ear to ear.

"You two shut up and let me work in peace." Sasori instructed as Deidara began to lick his reluctant student's cheek.

_~End Flashback(s)~_

"Okay~! Got good news and bad." Atari pranced back over to Kakuzu and Sasori in the bar. Suki was being led away by the old man.

"You found him?" Sasori grumbled.

"Sorta… but the good news, Kuzu-sensei, is that I made a hefty transaction."

"Congrats, but what's the bad news?" Kakuzu kept a nonchalant expression.

"We have merely an idea of where he is. Remember the woods west of the brothel?" Atari struggled to compose himself. Always so hyper.

"Then we should head out." Sasori grumbled. He was getting anxious, impatient to return to base.

"I guess so… although we won't be able to stay out for very long. Poor Suki still complains for every hour I leave him with a customer." Atari grinned, heading for the door.

"He never came willingly, so it's not surprising." Kakuzu and Sasori followed Atari out of the town.

The three headed for the western wood, silent. The woods were eerily quiet, Kakuzu noticed Atari shiver visibly. He also noticed Sasori was getting impatient, using his chakra strings to mess with any leaves that fell in front of him. Even Kakuzu himself was getting impatient. Atari stopped as they neared a clearing. At the center was a rotting hovel.

"We might as well set up a base. You two wait here while I fetch my Suki." Atari instructed, "We'll continue searching when I get back. Feel free to search in the meantime."

"What is this place?" Sasori asked Kakuzu when Atari had vanished.

"This?" Kakuzu looked over his shoulder, "Just a temporary squat."

"This 'squat', is my home." A familiar voice droned from behind the two.


	3. Part One C

**7. Backup**

Back at base, things were calm. Deidara rarely spoke, which worried Konan. The others ignored him, glad of the rare silence. Pein ordered him to fix his room once Sasori and Kakuzu departed, two nights ago. Kisame and Itachi were to help. They stood at the doorway, watching Deidara shuffle around the room.

"Deidara, anything we should take care of today?" Kisame asked with his usual smirk.

"Today we should finish, work on wiping off the remaining soot, then we'll arrange the remaining furniture." Deidara suggested, not looking at the two, busy cleaning the bathroom door of soot.

Kisame nodded and Itachi followed him inside. The three continued to clean in silence with an occasional comment or question from Kisame. Deidara was beginning to worry; Sasori and Kakuzu still haven't returned nor reported in. Once the room was no longer black, Kisame and Itachi sat on the last remaining bed, relaxing. Deidara was looking around for future planning in the furniture arrangement. Zetsu appeared from the floor then.

"You almost finished?" The white side asked.

"Yeah, why?" Kisame asked. Deidara turned to look down at Zetsu.

"You and Deidara will be going after Sasori and Kakuzu." Zetsu explained.

Deidara started, "What happened?"

"We've lost track of Kakuzu and Sasori's signal is weak. **If Kakuzu wasn't immortal, I'd say he's died and Sasori's probably on the verge because of Kakuzu."**

"Hmm…"

"If you guys are uncertain of Sasori's whereabouts, how are we expected to find them?" Kisame asked.

"Start with their original destination. **The whore knows the way." **Zetsu's black side snickered, vanishing in the ground.

"The whore?" Itachi looked at where they vanished.

"Let's go Kisame, knowing Sara, she probably used the bounty to lure Kakuzu-danna, hoping I'd be with him. Hmm." Deidara headed for the door.

"Ah, wait, what about your clay?" Kisame followed him, leaving Itachi alone and rejected.

_~Kisame and Deidara arrive at Sasori's previous home~_

"Wait here, I think I have some detonating clay left over in here." Deidara headed for the door.

"You been here before…?" Kisame's question was left unanswered.

Deidara opened the door and stopped cold. The lights were on. He looked back at Kisame before starting for the bedroom. He opened the door, only to freeze in surprise.

"Konichiwa, my precious little student." Atari purred, holding a paper bomb between his fingers, standing over Sasori's puppet.

"Atari-senpai!" Deidara's eyes widened.

"Deidara?" Kisame called, worried that he was taking awhile.

"Kisame, I'll be out in a minute." Deidara replied, eyes still glued on Atari. "Where's Sasori?"

"Hunting Hidan with Kakuzu-danna, why?" Atari smiled, stepping over the empty puppet.

"What do you mean 'why?'" Deidara scoffed, pouting.

"Why did you leave us?" Atari's expression was soft.

"I--"

"-Fell in love?" Atari laughed.

"…Hmm!" Deidara crossed his arms, avoiding Atari's gaze.

"Come with me and then we'll go out and give you back to Sasori." Atari grasped Deidara's wrist after he put the paper bomb back in his pack that was shrouded by the cloak.

Atari led Deidara out of the hut, turning off the lights before closing the door. Kisame was facing away from the door and heard it close.

"Find the clay-" he turned, "…!?"

"Oo~ blue skin… weird, but weird is sexy." Atari smiled, releasing Deidara in order to admire Kisame.

"Who…?" Kisame looked at Deidara's blank face.

"An old… friend." Deidara explained.

"Aw~! I'm your friend? Kawaii!" Atari glomped Deidara.

"Hmm?! Aren't you supposed to be taking me somewhere?" Deidara blushed, agitated now.

"Oh pooh~ not as fun and explosive as you once were, hnn?" Atari huffed, placing his hands on his hips.

"Rest assured, he's still pretty explosive." Kisame smirked at Deidara, recalling the explosion at base.

"Shut it, Kisame."

Atari led Deidara and Kisame straight to the village where Suki was, avoiding the whore house. They followed wordlessly, arriving at the bar before long. The sun was setting. Atari entered the bar which had become a bit more occupied. Suki sat on the bar, flirting with a few ogling girls at the bar. Deidara paused.

"Is that little Suki?" His eyes widened.

"Yep. Oh, that's right, I forgot… those girls, surely they look familiar?" Atari motioned towards the three girls ogling Suki.

"Ah shit, I'll… just… hide behind Kisame, hmm?" Deidara slowly edged his way back behind a befuddled Kisame.

"Good plan." Atari laughed loudly, pulling Kisame towards Suki. Deidara stumbled close behind.

"Alright, ladies, if you'll excuse me, I'll just take Suki back home. Of course, you're welcome to pay for this little gigolo." Atari swooped n behind them.

"Ari-kun~!" The girls exclaimed while Atari enjoyed the attention.

"I'd much rather take you home!" One cried, snuggling him.

"Oh how I wish Dei-Dei-kun hadn't left~." Another sulked.

"I'd definitely pay for him." The last sighed.

"Really?" he shot a shy glance in Deidara's direction.

"…Wh~at?" Kisame gaped, confused.

"Atari-danna, where's Kuzu-sama?" Suki asked, jumping off the bar to glare at Kisame.

"Sigh~ Oh well, I was hoping to get more money for Kakuzu-danna-sensei. Let's go, blue-boy, blondi, Suki." Atari spun, slinging his arm over Suki's shoulders.

"Finally." Kisame backed towards the entrance once Deidara tugged at his cloak.

Once they were outside Deidara backed away from Kisame, startling Suki. They exchanged a quick reunion before they headed for the west woods. Deidara explained to Kisame about his past as a 'gigolo'. Kisame laughed a majority of the time, poking fun at him.

"Deidara, why did you leave?" Atari asked his boy-toy once Kisame calmed down. They were in the trees now.

"He wanted to be with some ass named Sasori." Suki scoffed, answering instead.

"Sasori isn't an ass! Hmm!" Deidara spat. Kisame chuckled.

"Manners, Suki, or you'll end up in hell." Atari scolded.

"You're going to hell too then, you're even more of an ass! If you're so terrified about going to this 'hell' place, then why'd you become a slut?" Suki snapped.

"Wrong religion, sweetie. My religion believes you'll achieve sainthood if you sleep around." Atari cooed, bending over to lick his cheek.

"FEH!" Suki blushed, shaking his blonde curls.

Deidara chuckled, Kisame huffed. The clearing was staring to be visible through the trees. Atari grinned, pulling his hood back up to veil his narrowed eyes. Suki followed Atari into the clearing after telling Deidara and Kisame to wait behind. The door to the hovel opened eerily. Sasori stumbled out and made it off the porch before collapsing. Deidara and Kisame tensed when a young, shirtless teen boy with white hair and dull violet eyes.

"What a fucking let-down, Sasori, I expected more of a fucking challenge." Hidan sounded bored and Deidara's eyes narrowed.

"There you are, Hida-chan!" Suki grinned, ear-to-ear. Hidan's eyes widened in surprise.

"I told you a thousand fuckin' times, Suki, I'd be waiting for you in these damned woods." Hidan sighed.

Deidara's anger increased. Kisame, who'd been looking at Deidara, was worried. Deidara instinctively reached for the pouch that was usually at his hip, holding his detonating clay. 'Shit, Sasori, what rotten timing.' Deidara growled to himself and stood, ready to rush for his love.

"Hidan, where's Kakuzu?" Atari asked, looking back briefly at Deidara in warning.

"Who?" Hidan asked, utterly confused.

"There should have been another male with Sasori… what did you do to- with him?" Atari asked again.

"Damn pussy fuckin' ran, tail between his legs." Hidan laughed, earning a kunai aimed for his head; courtesy Deidara. His eyes narrowed in the direction of the kunai as Atari snapped his teeth in annoyance.

"Which of you heathens dared to fucking attack me!?" Hidan shouted.

"You stupid prick, learn some respect, HMM!!!" Deidara shouted, leaving the shelter of the bushes.

"Deidara-sensei?" Hidan exclaimed, jumping off the porch, landing on Sasori. Deidara flinched when he heard the wood crack and thought, 'It's just one of his puppets,' repeatedly to avoid doing something rash.

"Miss me, hmm?" Deidara approached, motioning for Kisame to stay hidden.

"Bitch, I don't give a damn about you, you fuckin left me alone in that cesspool." Hidan stated, pouting.

"Gomen… Hidan, but… I couldn't help it. I was getting tired--"

"Tired of me?" Hidan hissed, interrupting Deidara.

"No. Now, where is Kakuzu-danna?" Deidara was only a few feet from Hidan now.

"D-danna?" Hidan stuttered, Deidara was shocked to see a hint of pink on his pale skin.

"Hai…?"

"That man took something from Sasori and left…" Hidan answered finally, looking down and away from Deidara's penetrating stare.

Kisame was confused by all this going on before him. However he noticed that Atari was glaring at the one called Hidan, and Hidan was trembling slightly. His eyes widened in realization and he quickly tried to alert the annoying artisan. The boy was not looking back though.

"Do you know which direction they went?" Deidara purred, trying to coax the answer from his former student.

"Deidara…" Kisame dared to call the blonde and met Atari's vicious red eyes. Deidara turned and Hidan jumped at the new voice.

"Suki!" Atari shouted as a command. Deidara started as Suki withdrew two pikes from his pockets and pressed one against Deidara's throat. Hidan pouted guiltily when Atari withdrew a origami bird. The bird was made from a paper bomb. Like Deidara's clay birds, this origami one came to life and flew for Kisame. Atari grinned before making the familiar sign to explode the bird, but Kisame had already dodged.

"Stay where you are, blue-boy and maybe Dei-Dei'll live free a little longer.

**8. Trick & Trap**

'It was a trap, we were tricked!' Kakuzu scowled to himself, carefully cradling Sasori's beating heart box. Luckily, Kakuzu had all the hearts he could handle, so Sasori's heart was safe from him.

He was shocked at first when Hidan had shown up exactly where Atari left them. Sasori had been suspicious and had asked what Hidan was doing there. Hidan had no reply, he simply scowled at Sasori before demanding a name. Hidan's eyes had narrowed in distrust and he mumbled something about how he had to capture anyone that had something to do with Kakuzu and Deidara. In return, he would be granted full freedom.

"Hold on a bit more, Sasori, we're almost at the old place…" Kakuzu spoke only to hear his own voice.

Sasori had made a motion for Kakuzu to flee after he handed the heart box to Kakuzu. He reached the house but looked around carefully before entering. The lights were off, Kakuzu gently set Sasori's heart on the kitchen counter then retreated for the bedroom where Sasori hid his true body under the bed, behind his Hiruko puppet. Kakuzu brought it to the kitchen then waited for the box to enter the puppet. The puppet sprang to life. Sasori rolled his head… the full 360 degrees.

"Kakuzu, why didn't Hidan pursue us?" Sasori asked once he readjusted.

"Probably because they know exactly where we're headed. Something tells me Deidara was right about Sara's true intent after all… I hate that." Kakuzu growled, embarrassed by his misjudgment of Sara.

"But you saw Hidan's cell, he definitely tried to escape…"

"Yeah, tried. Truth is, no one escaped from the brothel. Not alive. Why do you think I found it hard to believe Hidan was alive." Kakuzu laughed.

"You and Deidara survived." Sasori pointed out.

"You're right. They did. They haven't escaped though." Kakuzu and Sasori froze when they heard Sara's mocking voice in the doorway.

"S-Sara-sama!"

"I have a proposition for you." Sara grinned.

"Not interested in girls, sorry." Kakuzu growled.

"No-No!" Sara giggled, "Hand over Sasori and yourself and I'll let your ukes go free." She grinned slyly at Kakuzu.

"Why the hell would we want to do that?" Sasori snarled, "Deidara's safe back at the base, regardless…" he trailed.

"Regardless of what? No matter, I am afraid you are mistaken, my marionette, for you see," Sara's light red eyes darkened when she shot a glance in Kakuzu's direction.

"He's fallen into Hidan's trap…" Kakuzu finished for her. Sasori's bored face didn't change, frozen with shock.

"Why the fuck would you want us, and what makes you think we'll come quietly?" Kakuzu smirked behind his mask.

"It's nearly impossible to come quietly. You know how loud the brothel is at night." Sara laughed, eyes lightening again.

"You're a sick-minded slut, y'know that?" Kakuzu growled, crossing his arms.

"Well, I tried, come along, now." Her mood shifted so quickly, Sasori felt as though he had whiplash.

The two Akatsuki followed Sara back to the whore-house. Hidan and Deidara were both chained, chain in Atari's hand. Suki stood with two steel pikes aimed at Kisame's heart and throat. Sara appeared content and strode proudly towards Hidan, knowing Kakuzu and the puppet master would follow. So long as she had bribe money and Deidara. Deidara looked away, embarrassed, as his eyes met Sasori's. The chain was a new addition, Sasori had never seen him with it.

"Atari, place those two in a cell then report to my room after." Her voice hold a dangerous tone of authority. "Suki, release this… thing." She glared up at Kisame then addressed him, "Hello, sorry about their behavior, you just chose the wrong sluts to hang with. You're welcome to leave." She motions for Suki to stand down.

"Kakuzu, hurry this up, Pein-sama's growing impatient. You're free to rampage whenever, the Jinchuuriki are about ready to be harvested." Kisame smirked before taking off.

"Coward." Sasori mumbled.

"Just bored." Kakuzu mumbled back.

"Suki, tell guards to strengthen the security by Hidan-kun and Dei-san's new cell. You two follow me, I'll pay, Kakuzu." She hurried back inside, past the lobby filled with potential customers. Kakuzu was wearing his black cloak still. A few of the "employees" looked in awe as he passed them on their way to Sara's office. She sat behind her desk and reached into a draw for an envelope. She paused before handing it to Kakuzu, shooting him a quick glare. Sasori watched the exchange quietly. He followed the greedy money-lover out of the office and… out the brothel.

"Kakuzu, what about Deidara?" Sasori glowered once they were in the trees.

"We got the money, Deidara can take care of himself." Kakuzu began to walk away, after securing the money within his cloak.

"He doesn't have any weapon, remember? I took away his detonating clay!" he snarled, trapping him with his chakra strings.

"Well…" He found he had no reply, "Fuck, Sasori… you have fifteen minutes. I'll create a distraction, hand Deidara the clay and report back to base when through." Kakuzu pinched the bridge of his nose in annoyance once released.

"Good."

The old man reentered the building with the puppet. There was enough time for Sasori to sneak into the basement while everyone was huddling around Kakuzu, pleading him to stay. He slipped on Kakuzu's black cloak and hid well his face. The guards let him pass. Hidan and Deidara were in the cell across from the old, demolished prison. Suki yawned loudly, not bothering to watch the prisoners. He noticed the new figure approaching and smirked. Sasori hadn't thought of what he would say.

"You must be here to see possible merchandise, I'll leave you be." the small blonde left, taking the guards with him.

"Didn't think it would be that easy." the puppet master took down the hood and looked into the cell.

Nearly got a nosebleed, his face was redder than his hair. Deidara had been stripped to his underwear and chained to the other, shirtless boy. They were both on the bed, exchanging saliva. Once Sasori let it sink in, he found himself extremely pissed. He ground his teeth then cleared his throat. He was ignored. Taking a deep breath he took Deidara's pouch of clay and quietly set it just within the bars and then tore the hood back to veil his face once more before retreating above ground.

Kakuzu was gone and the others were back to their former positions. He looked around briefly to see where Suki was. He was heading in the direction of Sara's office. Sasori hurried out to the woods. He didn't know why, but he was trembling. He used a nearby tree for support, revisiting the scene in the cell.

_~In the cell, moments before Sasori entered~_

"Suki, I take it I'm staying?" Deidara sat on the bed after he had been thrown in the cell, chained to his former student.

"Hidan-chan needs you, I need you, Atari-danna needs you, Sara-sama needs you, and…" Suki grinned mischievously, "you need us."

Hidan sat quietly at Deidara's side. (Yeah, that's right, quietly, Hidan! Ha~!) Deidara's eyes widened in disbelief. 'How…?' Deidara thought, glaring at the other blonde.

"Sara spilled the beans. After all, you did write your reason on the paperwork Kakuzu handed you when you first joined this whore-house. Once Atari-danna became your teacher, you told him, whom ultimately told me." Deidara blushed, looking away. Hidan followed his gaze.

"I won't look, frankly, the idea of you sleeping with my former cell-mate sickens me." Suki turned his head sharply and motioned to the guards that he would handle their supervision.

Hidan blushed lightly, scowling slightly at Suki's choice of words. He looked to Deidara, worried when he noticed his lack of emotion, lack of expression. He gulped subconsciously, silently as he reached to cup the artisan's face with pale hands. The blonde was still expressionless, his eyes looking into, no, past the albino's. He licked his lips before devouring Hidan's own lips. Although he was expecting it, he still gasped, letting Deidara do as he pleased.

Deidara broke the kiss, expression still unchanged, and began to lick down, under the chin to the collarbone, and then back again. The Jashinist began to pull at the other's shirt, tilting his head back a little. Deidara nipped his skin earning a gasp of pleasure and then retreated to rip off his shirt and then stood to remove his pants. Hidan looked rested back on the bed, setting on his elbows as he moved to straddle Hidan. Their groins rubbed, causing the uke to blush when he wrapped his arms around Deidara's neck.

That is when Sasori appeared, waves of heated jealousy overtaking Hidan. He peeked past Deidara to see Suki saying something, but was yanked back by the chain. Now all that was visible was the blonde as he was suffocated once more with the hungry mouth. The tongue from Deidara's chest flashed out, pressing itself to the bare chest. Hidan's eyes widened before he fell limp.

"Hidan, are you still awake?" Deidara prodded him, worry on his face.

"Fuck, I don't think I can get up. You might've consumed too much of my damn chakra." Hidan growled, weakly. Then he remembered, "I think Sasori's waiting… I saw him outside… of the cell. He was talking to that bitch, Suki."

"What?!" Deidara blushed, springing off the bed, yanking Hidan in the process.

"Hack-hack. Fuckin' slut! What the fuck was that for!?" Hidan choked, rubbing his bruised neck.

Deidara twirled around to face the familiar tan bag. The bag Sasori took after Deidara was falsely accused of destroying the room. His eyes widened and he reached behind Hidan, picking his pants up from off the floor. Hidan was yanked when the blonde tried to tug the chain off.

"Fuck!" Hidan growled, a few prisoners turned in their beds, some called them some nasty names. (None quite as nasty as what Hidan called them afterwards.)

"Deidara, cut it out, why the fuck do you even give a damn? And what the hell're you trying to do?" he hissed quietly, blushing lightly.

"I need to get these chains off so I don't have to drag you." Deidara pulled his pants back on, angered with himself for tearing up his shirt. "Then I need to get back to base, tell Kakuzu-danna to sew up this damned mouth so I can finally show Sasori how I feel without having to worry about him trying to kill me afterwards. All because this mouth feeds on the emotion of love." Deidara glowered down at his chest, sickened with himself.

"… I won't try to understand, but take me with you." Hidan stood to hug the blonde from behind.

"You don't understand. I'm going to use my detonating clay, it'll be a miracle if even I survive." Deidara broke away, reaching for his pouch, chewing some clay, and then proceeding to mold it.

"I'm immortal, dumb-ass." Hidan scoffed. Deidara paused before quoting his former master, "'No such thing as immortality.'"

"…?" Hidan stared then they both jumped when they heard footsteps.

Deidara attached his pouch to his pants then, holding a clay figure in one hand, pulled the Jashinist back on the bed with the other. Suki was strolling down the way with Atari, frowning. They stopped in front of Deidara and Hidan's chamber.

"Dei-da~ra. I heard your Sasori doesn't like to be kept waiting." Suki's frown vanished as he sang out the blonde's name.

"He doesn't… not much I can do about it though." Deidara was annoyed, anxious.

"What if we let you go?" Atari pulled out a ring of keys. Deidara stood and approached his former teacher.

"What's in it for you?" he growled, Hidan was wise enough to follow before getting yanked again.

"About that whole immortality thing," Atari smirked when Suki hand over a triple blade scythe, "I don't have the keys for the chains, mind cutting his head off for me?"

"Heathen, trying to incapacitate me. Meh…" Hidan crossed his arms and Deidara took the scythe.

"I'll just go with Hidan, unlock this cage." Deidara glowered, handing the scythe to Hidan.

"Fine, but he'll only slow you down when Sara sends the big guy to hunt you down." Atari sneered, letting the door swing open. Deidara and Hidan rushed out, pausing to stop at a single storage area briefly. Hidan had to get the enhancements to his old scythe.

They raced to the woods, disappearing into the night.

**9. Immortal**

Sasori waited at his old house, regardless of the risk, hoping to compose himself before returning to base. But how could he restrain an emotion he didn't understand? He looked to the bathroom before deciding warm water might help. Being in the shower, he didn't notice a cloaked figure entering the living room. He let the water run for a few minutes more. He had stopped thinking of Deidara going behind his back. He realized then that Deidara still hadn't slept with him.

'I-I'm still a virgin…' he blushed, shutting off the water, 'Damn… that made it worse. I should probably try and busy myself.' He stopped in front of the mirror, admiring his upper torso.

There was a knock at the bathroom door and Sasori jumped. He wrapped a towel around his waist. He grabbed a kunai he had stashed under the bath mat. The knocking grew more pronounced so he opened the door quickly, kunai inches from Kakuzu's expressionless face.

"I was wondering why you were keeping us waiting. Not like you to take so long on such an easy task."

Kakuzu growled accusingly.

"I was going to leave in the morning." Sasori explained, tossing the kunai in the sink before brushing past him and into the bedroom.

"Where's Deidara?" Kakuzu asked through the door as Sasori pulled on his boxers and pants.

"Devouring Hidan." Sasori scoffed.

Kakuzu felt two of his hearts stop beating. He yanked the bedroom door open, startling the puppeteer. Sasori stumbled back as Kakuzu approached him with intent to kill.

"You better be joking." His eyes flashed dangerously.

"K-Kakuzu?" Sasori was slightly fearful, edging his way to the door to escape.

"Why didn't you stop him, he's your boyfriend!" Kakuzu grasped him by the neck and tossed him out the bedroom. He crashed against the wall; a "crack" was heard, then a "thump" as he fell to the floor.

"Hack-cough-guh! Kakuzu, What the FUCK?" Sasori rasped, rubbing his neck whilst Kakuzu loomed over him.

"Leave… now… I'm going to snap." Kakuzu hissed. Sasori obliged, rushing out the front door, still wet and half dressed.

"Go and find Deidara, drag him back here." Kakuzu shouted, closing the door.

"Jeez, scary…" Sasori flinched, retreating into the surrounding woods, heading for the village.

_~Back with Hidan and Deidara~_

"Dei~dara~ where the fuck are you takin' me?" Hidan whined.

"I sense Kakuzu's chakra coming from Sasori's old place." Deidara explained, turning to face the boy.

"I'm fucking tired though and it's such a long way." he sat on a large boulder under one of the trees, stretching.

"It's not that far away. It'll only take 15 minutes more. Hmm." Deidara scuffed Hidan's hair playfully. He smacked the hand away.

"Get that damn hand away from me." He snapped.

"I see that I've put you in a cranky mood." Deidara grimaced slightly. He turned back and started walking, Hidan huffed falling back into step.

That brief stop was all it took for their tail to catch up. The large man followed them a bit further before deciding it was time to take action. Sara only wanted Hidan back alive… not that he could kill him regardless. Atari had told him not to hurt Deidara, however Suki said that if he was killed, Hidan would have no choice but to go willingly. He decided to incapacitate the Jashinist and then take down the blonde. Withdrawing a blade, the man jumped from his hiding place, Hidan never saw him coming.

Deidara heard the sound of the hunter landing, the blade slicing, and the head rolling. He whirled in time to see the disheveled man standing over Hidan's fallen body. His eyes widened, he reached for his clay. His shock made him slow and the man slammed him into a tree, pinning his arms above his heads with a single hand, blade in the other. Deidara glared defiantly, the man pulled his arm back, preparing to strike. His expression changed when he remembered why he had left in the first place.

It was for him.

It's always for Sasori.

Sasori was the only person that mattered.

Where was he?

Why had he left?

Why did Deidara choose to follow?

He loved Sasori.

That's all there was to it.

He closed his eyes, waiting, restraining tears.

He heard a blade whistling through air and flinched.

Deidara still breathed and the man's grip had vanished, so opened his eyes to feed his curiosity. Sasori stood in front, facing the man with his back to the startled blonde. He sighed in relief and, with a grin, reached for his clay. Sasori had five puppets out, backing the man into the woods. Deidara didn't have to bother fighting. The "hit man" was a coward. Once he had disappeared, Sasori's puppets clattered to the ground and the red head turned slowly to glance at Deidara.

"You're going to die an early death, you fool." Sasori growled, expression the usual bored.

Deidara's only response was to tackle him, "Danna!" he hugged his beloved, a few tears flowed gently down his face. This caught Sasori off-guard, causing him to forget the brat's betrayal for a brief moment.

"What's wrong, brat?"

"You saved me! I thought you were mad at me… unless you don't know what I was doing with Hidan." Deidara released him suddenly as he recalled Hidan.

"I saw what you were doing and I expect an answer. However, now Hidan won't be much of a threat." Sasori returned to his bored drawl, turning to see Deidara kneeling besides the twerp's body.

"Oh shit~! Hmm…" he moaned, "If Kakuzu-danna finds out, he's gonna be p-i-s-s-e-d, pissed." he finished, spelling it out.

"If I find what out?" The two other Akatsuki members jumped when they heard the devil speak.

"Find out that the damn pricks got me fucking killed." Hidan's head shouted, tired of remaining still.

This caused all three rogue ninja to freak out. Deidara hid behind Sasori while Kakuzu jumped down from his tree, rather noisily, not like him. Deidara noticed him stumble slightly and restrained a snicker. Hidan looked up at him, a large puddle of blood had formed due to the neck wound.

"You're," Kakuzu was at a loss for words, "How-how can you still be alive?"

"I'm fucking immortal, doesn't matter how." Hidan rolled his eyes. "Though I wouldn't call being a talking head living. Shit-head." He growled, trying to look at his body laying in a separate blood puddle, about 2 yards away.

"You sure you're immortal… after all, immortality is finite." Kakuzu replied, crouching down, reaching for the head.

"I survived that damn blast, didn't I? And in case you moronic heathens didn't notice, I just got my fucking head cut off!" Hidan shouted, "I wish someone could fucking kill me, otherwise this is just gonna suck balls."

"I will kill you, but only after you've helped me." Kakuzu replied, emotionlessly grabbing Hidan by the hair and taking him over to his body. Hidan complained, calling Kakuzu a few nasty names until Kakuzu wordlessly held up the body, sticking his head back on.

Hidan looked confused as Kakuzu raised his other hand. He didn't shy away at the sight of the stitches reattaching Hidan's neck to his body. Instead he looked deep into Kakuzu's eyes while he focused on the wound.

"Try not to move it too soon." He stood and turned his back to Hidan, "Sasori, Deidara, if we're any later, Pein will have our heads, and we, unlike the twerp, aren't immortal." He started to walk away. Hidan stood and grasped for his arm.

"Wait, you ass!" he hissed.

"Kakuzu, why don't we bring him with us?" Deidara suggested, realizing Hidan was afraid to be left alone… again.

"If he's really immortal, he'll be your perfect partner, one that might last." Sasori added, almost acidly. Everyone ignored his tone.

"Don't need one, besides, partners cost too much. Always asking me to pay for their luxuries and not bothering to pay me back." Kakuzu growled. Now the others knew why he killed Kuro. "This guy doesn't seem very prosperous."

"So long as I have the Church of Jashin, I would consider myself quite prosperous." Hidan scoffed, picking up his amulet.

Kakuzu's eye twitched, 'Why must I be so gullible?' he thought to himself. He turned to face Hidan, told him that he would be coming with them, and then, they headed back to Sasori's old place to grab the Hiruko.

* * *

Crap ending for this chap, however I suck at ending anything so... -shrug- I hope I'll be able to end this story eventually...


	4. Part One Break

**10. Sexing and Spooning**

Sasori had hurried them along, repeating how much he hated keeping people waiting. Hidan would give an occasional complaint along the way, only to get a "Shut up." from Kakuzu. Deidara was busy thinking, following quietly. They arrived at base around noon. Sasori entered first, once more in his Hiruko. Zetsu greeted them… or… the nicer side at least. The other was preoccupied with his own thoughts.

"Hidan, come with me. Deidara, you too. Sasori, do as you please." Kakuzu instructed, heading for Pein's room.

"Where the hell're you taking me?" Hidan pouted, tired after their long, brisk walk to base.

"Hidan, watch your language, you're going to meet your new boss." Deidara messed with Hidan's neatly groomed hair, yet again receiving a slap from an agitated Hidan.

"Enter." Came the leader's reply once Kakuzu had knocked.

The three obliged, Deidara managed to shut Hidan up finally. Pein looked over the albino with a quizzical glance at the other two. Kakuzu showed the leader the envelope of money briefly before hiding it once more.

"So you were successful. Who is this?" He asked.

"Hidan, he's immortal and dangerous, or so I'm told." Kakuzu mumbled the last bit.

"A potential partner then?" Pein nodded approval. "Very well. Now then, Deidara, about that explosion…" the leader trailed, glaring at the artisan.

"Sir, I assure you that it wasn't my doing." Deidara explained, "It was Atari, sir, an old acquaintance, I assure you he won't be back."

"I'll believe that for now until there is another 'mishap'. You all may leave now. Konan will bring a new

cloak for your partner, Kakuzu." Pein dismissed them.

Kakuzu took Hidan by the arm and led him to their room. Deidara followed without explanation. Kakuzu allowed him in. Deidara sat on Kakuzu's bed as the old man gave his new cohort a quick rundown. Once he had finished and Hidan started the shower to wash off the blood from his earlier decapitation.

"Alright Deidara, explain your intrusion. Do you want relief or is there a special request?" Kakuzu sat besides the blonde, whom was watching his tongues "play". "That's kinda sick, Deidara…" he added.

"Hmm." He gave no reply as he pulled his hands apart to lift his shirt, his cloak had been abandoned awhile ago at the door.

"Relief then?" Kakuzu started to make a move until Deidara shook his head.

"I want you to seal my last resort. Hmm." he answered, fingering the lips on his torso.

"But- how will you replenish your chakra?" Kakuzu stuttered a bit.

"I'm tired of fearing that I will steal Sasori's love while making it… hmm. So long as this can open, that's always a risk. These," Deidara held up his hands, "however, would be able to do the same only with less effect and therefore less risk, hmm." He explained. Kakuzu nodded as though he understood then preceded to stitch the artisan's torso.

"I hope your partner lasts…" Kakuzu said as Deidara opened the door, his clothes on once more.

"I hope your new one lasts as well, Kakuzu…" Deidara left and Kakuzu realized he had not addressed him as "danna."

_~Back with Sasori~_

Sasori hurried to his room, pausing briefly at Itachi and Kisame's door, wanting to ask them a question about envy. They were busy though, from what he heard through the door and knew he would later hear it through his wall. He exhaled, opening the new door. He stopped cold; their beds were on separate sides of the room. He quickly abandoned his puppet and approached the clean bed that was near the bathroom. The room almost looked brand new, aside from the gunpowder smell and the pile of puppet parts by the other bed.

"Oh great." Sasori mumbled sarcastically. His bed was against the wall connecting their room to Kisame and Itachi's. He hoped they were in the other bed during their "nightly commotion" as Zetsu had put it.

He shed his cloak, resting it on his new workbench. He would rearrange the room in the morning. Now he needed to sleep. If only it were that easy, thoughts of Deidara and their shaky relationship swam through his head. First Deidara chooses Kakuzu over him, then he makes out with an old acquaintance, and now he comes home to find Deidara has separated their beds. He pulled the covers over his head, squeezing his eyes tight in hopes to find sleep.

Deidara entered quietly, moments later and Sasori decided to play possum. Deidara approached his lover after carefully closing the door. He heard moans from the other room and paused to hide a snicker. He let his hand hover over Sasori's closed eyes, then moved his head down, replacing the hand with lips. Sasori tensed and he noticed. With a sigh he went to the bathroom for a shower. Sasori heard the water start running and then sat up, rubbing his eyes, only to be slammed back down on the bed.

"I thought you-"

"were sleeping…" Deidara finished, as though he started the sentence, licking Sasori's cheek.

"-taking a shower." Sasori finished then he pushed the blonde away, sitting back up, "Get off. You still owe me a few explanations."

"I thought I only owed you one, danna. Hmm?" Sasori started at being called master.

"Why didn't you sleep with me before I left? I thought you didn't mind snuggling." Sasori recovered, placing a stern look on his face.

"I love being spooned, never been spooned before." Deidara grinned, realizing that Sasori didn't want to start with the critical question.

"Spooning? You know what, never mind, that's not an answer." Deidara laughed at Sasori's lack of vocabulary.

"I told you why, hmm. You were mad at me that night and the bed was too small…" Deidara trailed, knowing how Sasori liked to hog the bed. (the whole reason their beds were pushed together)

"I wasn't… regardless, if you feel that way, why did you separate our beds?" Sasori pouted.

"The blast blew them away and you had complained about the others finding out so…" he looked down and started to play with his hands.

"… I don't think I'd mind if it were true." Sasori sulked. Deidara froze.

"W-what do you mean…?" Deidara managed to choke.

"Well… I'm still a virgin." This worked, Deidara chuckled, but the chuckle was shaky.

"Let me just start by saying, nothing happened between Hidan and me… at least…" Deidara grinned mischievously, "not after joining the Akatsuki." Sasori rolled his eyes.

"So, you just mess around with everyone, including me, not giving them the satisfaction of your taste?"

"Satisfaction, hmm?" Deidara gave a cheeky grin, leaning closer, Sasori leaned back.

"Listen, brat," Sasori scowled, yet the other noticed the light blush when Sasori leaned in close, placing his hands on the brat's knees, "I…" he faltered a bit then continued, stronger, almost too strong, "I LOVE YOU!" Sasori's blush increased and he forced a passionate kiss.

Deidara had no verbal reply, he allowed the intrusion, wrapping his arms around Sasori's neck. Sasori's tongue explored around his partner's mouth, hoping to memorize every millimeter. Deidara smirked, attempting to overtake the kiss so he could do the same. Sasori groped for the hem of Deidara's shirt once he broke the kiss; before Deidara could win.

"W-wait, Sasori-danna." Deidara frowned, holding Sasori away at arms length.

"Sorry… um… I shouldn't have…" Sasori felt tears threatening to flow; regardless, it's impossible.

"Just wait a minute, I have to check something before we continue." Deidara grinned, seeing Sasori perk up at the knowledge he wanted to continue.

"I'm gonna take a quick shower, hmm~." Deidara kissed the puppet master before rushing to the shower… it was still running. There's sure to be hell to pay when Kakuzu gets the gas bill. Not that he pays the bills anyways… just have to change bases.

"Also, do me a favor, shove my bed over by yours. Hmm. I want to see if we make up to Itachi and Kisame for keeping us up at night on the rare nights they actually do anything. Hmm." with that Deidara entered the cold shower.

Sasori felt his expression return to normal as he stood to move the bed. Once he had moved the bed into place, he suddenly understood what Deidara meant and turned beet-red. Deidara quickly stepped out of the shower, shivering and reached under the sink, searching for the present Kakuzu gave him last Christmas. He found the bottle and grinned, remembering his life in the whore-house. He used the shower as an excuse, he was just gonna have to take another one after.

He drapes a towel over his shoulders, not seeing any point of covering his lower region, he didn't want Sasori to see the stitches until during. Being questioned while finally getting sex with your true love might not be all that enjoyable. He opened the door and peeked out to see Sasori loosening his pants. Deidara admired his back, apprehending that Sasori stopped wearing a shirt after the fifteenth compliment, courtesy Deidara. He sneaks up on him then plops on Sasori's bed. Sasori turned, his blush under control.

"Lookie what I found, Danna. Hmm." Deidara held up the bottle of lube. Sasori smiled softly, hovering over Deidara, placing the lube on a bedside table for later.

"Where'd you get that?" Sasori asked, not really caring as he brushed his lips under the blonde's chin earning a gasp. Deidara was already hard, Sasori's lips trailed down Deidara's abdomen, skipping his still covered torso, down to his waist. Deidara was used to being the uke, so he let him take control, relaxing, concentrating on the trailing lips. They moved back up before passing the waist, Deidara was enjoying the tease. Sasori then straddled his hips, moaning when their erections brushed. Deidara leaned up, propping himself up on his elbows, pulled into another passionate kiss.

"Something tells me you have no idea of what to do? Hmm." Deidara's words vibrated against the other's.

"Not really…" Sasori blushed.

"Start by taking off your clothes. Hmm." Deidara grinned. Sasori obliged, dismounting to pull off the remainder of his clothing. Deidara stood as well, motioning for Sasori to sit. Sasori spread his legs and Deidara knelt, looking up at him. "A demonstration, hmm." He took Sasori's member, licking the head.

Sasori jumped at the wet feeling. Deidara made sure Sasori was watching him before sucking the rest of his length into his mouth. Sasori gasped, placing his hand on Deidara's head, entangling his fingers in the shiny hair. Deidara kept at it, bobbing up and down, absorbed. Sasori's grip tightens as he feels his climax approaching, he throws his head back, teeth ground together. Deidara, encouraged by the reaction, uses a hand to caress his scrotum. Sasori begins to pant and moan, no longer able to hold back. Deidara gives a final, slow suck, letting his teeth graze the shaft. Sasori can't take any more and lets loose. Deidara smiles, swallows, then pulls away licking his lips.

"H-how can you swallow it?" Sasori flushed, recalling a time when Sasori kissed Deidara after a blow job.

"Years of practice, Sasori my man." Deidara stood again, straddling him. "Now you, being the seme, get a turn."

Sasori pulled Deidara back to his former position and, shyly, licked Deidara's tip. Deidara cocked his head when Sasori didn't continue. Sasori was blushing. Upon noticing Deidara was waiting, he continued hungrily, repeating what Deidara had done for him. The reason for his pause? He liked the taste of his companion's pre-come, and it surprised him. Maybe it was because it was Deidara? He shrugged to himself, concentrating and earning pleasurable moans from his blonde. Deidara was used to this, so he began playing with Sasori's hair, gasping a little anytime Sasori did something interesting. Sasori frowned at Deidara's lack of interest and stopped, glaring.

"Sorry, Sasori-danna, but I'm sure you'll get better in time. Hmm." Deidara giggled, pecking him on the lips, he still held the towel over his stitched mouth.

"Tch… you, being a whore, probably don't feel very much pleasure anymore." Sasori grumbled.

"Not true, I would tell you what turns me on, but I'd prefer you find out yourself, hmm~." Deidara giggled again, nuzzling his face into the crook of his neck.

"I give up, tell me." Sasori growled, not bothering to think about it.

"The thought of you, losing your virginity for one." Deidara cooed, licking Sasori's ear. "I'd also be happy with simple stroking. But more importantly," Deidara whispered, "penetration is a personal favorite. Hmm." The vibration of his voice so close to ear made Sasori shiver with pleasure and anticipation.

"You're quite… vindictive." Sasori panted.

"How so, hmm?" Deidara pursed his lips, nibbling on Sasori's earlobe.

"This teasing is torture." Sasori explained, gasping at the nibble.

"Give me your fingers." Deidara pulled back, a cheeky smile on his face again.

Sasori obliged and watched Deidara suck in three fingers, caressing them with his tongue. Once the fingers were coated he instructed for Sasori to slowly and gently try to shove them in, one at a time. Sasori nodded, wrapping his other arm around Deidara, pulling him into a kiss and then he let his first finger tease Deidara's entrance before he let it slide in. Deidara moaned into the kiss, whispering something incoherent in Sasori's ear. Soon he slid his second finger in, moving in and out, looking for the "sweet spot" as Deidara had whispered. Deidara held his new seme tighter, waiting for the pleasure to start and the slight pain to ease.

"Oh~ right there! Hmm-Mmm." Deidara panted when his prostate was brushed with the three digits. Liking the reaction, Sasori continued for a few minutes, then pulled the fingers out, instinct taking over as he flipped Deidara, pulling him up by his hips. Deidara was proud at him for catching on, then remembered, "Sasori-danna, please don't be too rough, I may be a whore, hmm, but that makes me even more against rough sex, it gets exhausting. Hmm."

Sasori nodded then took his member, placing it at Deidara's wet entrance. He shyly asked if his companion was ready. After hearing the moaned "yes", he began to enter him carefully. Deidara gasped, causing the redhead to pause, now buried to the hilt. Deidara panted for a few minutes, trembling with the pleasure. The lube had been completely ignored, he realized. He noticed Sasori hadn't done anything and laughed a little, causing the other to blush.

"Go ahead and move, Danna." he cooed, bracing himself for a second, causing the redhead to moan, and then relaxing.

"H-hai…"

Sasori slowly pulled out, testing the waters, parse. Deidara's blissful smile encouraged him and in no time he had developed a gentle, yet effective rhythm. Every occasional thrust would cause his blonde to moan out, Sasori felt his orgasm looming cum_(1)_Deidara's. They heard nothing more from their neighbors' room as Deidara cried out his lover's name, come_(1) _splattering onto the bed sheets.

"Ah! D-Deidara!" Sasori choked out, shuddering as he emptied himself inside the one he once considered a brat; now he was officially _his _brat.

Sasori pulled out, helping to support his partner as he did so he would not collapse in his own mess. Deidara was so out of it, wrapped in his sexual high, he didn't notice the towel slip from his shoulders as he was pulled into a loving embrace. Once he and his true danna had recovered he sat up, much to his master's displeasure and confusion, and smiled down at him.

"We hafta take a shower now, hm, clean up." He explained.

"Why are Kakuzu's stitches lacing your torso?" Sasori scowled, noticing the sealed mouth; Deidara flinched.

"A precaution…" he mumbled looking at Sasori with a serious, loving (passionate) expression before kissing the puppet.

"… I can see you aren't wanting to talk about it." Sasori smiled in spite of it and stood, heading for the bathroom.

"Ah, wait for me, Sasori-danna." he scrambled out of the bed and sidled up to Sasori just as they closed the bathroom door shut behind them.

"After this, we'll spoon til noon, hmm~" Deidara purred in his seme's ear.

"Remind me to ask Kakuzu about some things…" was the redhead's only reply as he turned on the shower, pulling his uke along.

* * *

_(1) this spelling actually means 'together with'- come__ is the slang term for the semen ;3 I just gave you a vocab lesson via Word dictionary_

_Part One ~ End_

_Part Two focus is Kakuzu x Hidan and their relationship!_

_SasoDei part in this story isn't over; they'll make a come-back in a flashback at some point...  
_


	5. Part Two A

**11. Unbelievable! "And Delicious…" ****- Zetsu Black**

Kakuzu stared at the door his old "friend" had retreated out of. He sighed at the words exchanged about lasting partners. He just didn't understand, there was no way Hidan could be immortal, and no way he would fully accept him as his partner. He saw the meaning behind the look Zetsu had given him. That plant had been saying, when Kuro was still alive mind you, he suspected Kakuzu to be going soft, even thinking he had never been hard to begin with.

'Wait… that came out wrong…. As did that….' Kakuzu got lost in his perverted rambling thoughts, not noticing the "immortal" walking back out of the shower, completely nude, save his pendent.

Hidan smirked then flopped down on the bed on the opposite side of the room, burrowing under the covers. Meanwhile, Kakuzu found he was enthralled by the possibility Hidan was truly immortal. He began planning so many painful and ensured death situations to test the gray-haired male. He succeeded in convincing himself that the "crush" as Deidara had said, was indeed short-lived and long dead. That is until a particular death situation popped up in his head, his member soon following.

'Ah, shit!' Kakuzu blushed behind his mask, looking behind to see Hidan had returned. He looked to his erection and groaned. Luckily, the Jashinist Bible the boy had was distracting him as Kakuzu got up swiftly, shutting the bathroom door behind him.

He turned on the shower first in order to veil his quiet, tamed sounds as he played with himself in order to end the erection. After a while, he found himself picturing Hidan again, this brought him to the end as he tensed with his sudden orgasm. 'Maybe that crush hasn't quite died yet…' he blushed to himself, staring at his come-covered hand. Outside, Hidan heard a knock on the bedroom door.

"Kakuzu, door!" He shouted, not looking up from his reading.

Another, more urgent knock roused him from his bed. He snarled quietly, looking around for some pants. He grabbed a random pair by the door (Kakuzu's side of the room), yanking them on. The knock came again and he told them he'd be there in a minute. The pants were a bit big on him, but he didn't care, he'd worn worse. He pulled open the door as Konan was to knock yet again. He scowled.

"Wow, never thought a cutie like you would end up partner to someone like Kakuzu." she said emotionless, stepping back and motioning for him to follow her. "Also, grab any weapons you might have." He groaned but did as he was told.

He followed the woman down the hallway, into a room, down another hallway, into another room, down another hallway. Hidan's head began to throb; he was getting woozy. She finally led him down the stairs into a dungeon-like room. He thought this was the end, until she led him down to a second flight of stairs. This time he groaned, she ignored him

"How fucking large is this hell-hole?!" He shouted.

"Shh, this is Zetsu's room, now downstairs." She directed, a paper peeling from her body to clamp over Hidan's mouth.

"!!!" He reached to pull it off, but to no avail. She watched him struggle awhile longer until he realized it wasn't coming off. His eyebrows knitted with a frown as he followed. They reached the landing of a room divided into four boxes. He looked around curiously and the paper over his mouth peeled off. He was about to ask, but before he could open his mouth, Konan responded.

"This is the training floor. Pein has instructed I test you out. He finds it too good to be true that Kakuzu, of all people, should find a partner that might outlive him. Even quiet Zetsu irks him." Konan explained.

"Meh, typical, getting my damn head cut off not fucking convincing enough?" He scoffed, tossing his head, making sure to show the black stitching over the red line.

"None-the-less, we still have to determine if you'd make a good Akatsuki member. Any past Hidden Villages?" she asked.

"Meh, I guess the Hidden Rain Village… the headband I had should be somewhere in the woods where I got decapitated about a year ago…" He trailed, rubbing his chin in thought.

"You guess?" She raised a brow.

"Well, I trained in the Village for awhile with a sister that lived there temporarily. She was born in the Hidden Mist originally though… one of the Shinobi Seven Swordsmen… or some shit like that." He was lost in memories.

"Alright, no matter, we'll just test you now." she drawled, pointing at the section to their left.

He shrugged and stepped inside, slightly startled when she closed the door on him, locking him in alone. He stared around when a whirring noise was heard. His eyes shot around the room, eyes locking on a passageway that slid up and open. His violet eyes widened as a wall of sharpened weapons shot out. He braced himself, knowing that getting hit, regardless of his immortality, would be bad so early in the game. So, rather than waste energy dodging, or risk too fatal a wound to himself, he pulled out his triple-bladed scythe, twirling it out in front of him.

Only two or three kunai found their mark, the other bouncing of the scythe or sticking in the wall behind, roughly outlining the male. He grinned, 'This outta be fun.' He thought this as moving targets now entered, falsely weaving signs. A stream of fire shot out and Hidan smirked, bracing himself.

Kakuzu stepped out of the shower and looked worriedly around at the absence of his new partner. He exhaled with a shrug and plopped on his bed, but not before securing his head gear and throwing on some slacks and a thin sweater. He soon found himself in a rough sleep, tossing and twitching, letting out an occasional groan or moan. The idea of Hidan laying on a bed (Kakuzu's preferably), broken, bleeding, moaning Kakuzu's name turned him on to no end, leaving it to plague his dreams.

He awoke the next morning, stretching gloriously at the sound of the breakfast alarm. That's when he noticed something under the covers. 'Shit, not again.' He blushed, head hitting the pillow yet again. He turned his head to the side to see if Hidan was in bed… he wasn't. That means he's been gone roughly eight hours, unless he had returned and someone- Deidara- had informed him of breakfast.

He stood up and swiftly changed out of his wet underwear. He threw his cloak on after retrieving his usual outfit. He hoped that his "crush" was in the kitchen, with the blonde. Once he arrived at the kitchen, however, he was quite disappointed to see that Zetsu, of all members, was the only one there… go figure. 'Damned cannibal.'

"Morning Zetsu." he grumbled, sitting as far away from him as possible.

"Killed your partner. **So soon**? **Hasn't even gotten a chance to prove himself.**" he mocked, looking around the room.

"No, I just haven't bothered to keep tabs on him is all." he retorted dryly.

"Odd, usually Kisame and Deidara beat you to the kitchen." Konan entered from the hallway her and Pein's rooms were. (Yes, separate rooms, sorry.)

"Yeah, hey, have you seen Hidan anywhere?" Kakuzu looked around, hoping she had just taken him to give him the cloak.

"Nope, can't say I have." Her grin told another story. "What would you like for breakfast?"

"Anything. **Deidara sounds tasty."**

"Anything generic." Kakuzu grunted, looking around for his partner in vain.

Sasori awoke to find his recently obtained blonde already up and showering… again? He sighed, 'Him and his hair, I swear.' He stood up and shuffled to his Hiruko. The water in the shower shut off. 'Didn't take long… must've woken up earlier than I first thought.' Sasori's eyes widened in surprise.

"Nani, Sasori-danna?" Deidara limped out to have Sasori ogling him.

"Nothing, just thinking about how I was lucky enough to have a sexy brat like you for a partner." Sasori smiled sweetly, causing him to blush in reply.

Deidara had left the bathroom, with only briefs on, the redhead watched a drip of water slide down his shiny hair, past the horrible stitching on his torso (he'd have to remember to be harsher to Kakuzu for touching what is rightfully his and even putting something into that beloved thing), and disappearing at the hem of underwear. Deidara sighed and limped over to his closet. He pulled out his fishnet shirt and, to Sasori's surprise, a black, sleeveless belly shirt. Until recently , he'd only wear the fishnet. Sasori watched him finish dressing, not bothering with his cloak, until he started heading for the door. Sasori jumped into his puppet and followed him.

They headed down the hall but stopped when Kisame burst out of his room fuming. Itachi, surprisingly, limped after him until he spotted Deidara and Sasori. Kisame continued to the kitchen without his partner. He turned to glare at the artists, sharingan flaring. Deidara glared back, only careful to keep one eye closed so as not to be pulled into yet another genjutsu.

"Excuse me, Itachi, but what's wrong?" Sasori asked, interrupting the glaring contest.

"Hn."

"That's not an answer."

"It's nothing to do with you." He held his head high. Oh how it pissed Deidara off.

"Then what's with the fucking glare? Hm!"

"Your two's 'fucking' didn't exactly help. If you could call it that." Itachi kept an emotionless face when the others twitched in anger, "You should probably try someone better, Sasori. Not some annoying brat."

"He may be annoying," Hiruko's tail flashed to keep Deidara back, "but he's _my_ annoying brat. Besides, he has far more experience in bed then you do. And I don't call it fucking, I call it love-making." Sasori glowered.

"Perhaps, although I don't see why one would brag about it." he raised his brow. "And love-making? Are you the girl?"

"How about you answer that once we've sparred." Sasori challenged.

"You're on." He grinned.

"What about breakfast?" Deidara whined.

"Feel free." the redhead answered, leading the other to the training rooms.

"But-!" Deidara pouted when they left him alone.

He exhaled and headed down the hallway to the kitchen. He spotted Kakuzu sneaking his food under his mask when he knew no one was looking. Deidara shook his head at the pathetic display. Kisame was digging his fish out of the fridge while Zetsu was finishing off two plates with a mountain of food on each. He walked over to Kakuzu and tapped his shoulder just as he was about to take another bite.

"Kakuzu~ where's Hidan?" He asked, noticing his old friend's absence.

"I thought he was with you." Kakuzu thought he had an emotionless face, however the blonde could sense his distress.

"Ah, if it isn't the little whore." Kisame laughed halfheartedly, sitting on Kakuzu's right. Deidara took his left.

"Shut up, sex-shark. Hm!" Deidara snarled back.

"Whoa, ease up, the only shark here is that loan-shark." he tried another grin, jabbing his thumb towards Kakuzu. Trying to avoid the subject

"You sure seem cheery this morning. Hmm. Sex not go as well as I heard last night?" Deidara's first comment dripped with sarcasm.

"I have no idea what you're talking about, and I have no idea what I did to make you want to pick on me this morning." Kisame began to blush furiously.

"Fine, I'll drop the 'suspicion' you and Uchiha are a thing. However, right now, I am pissed at you for having such a disrespectful partner. Hmm." he pouted.

"What do you- hey, where is he… and Sasori?" Kisame looked around, recalling that both had been left behind with Deidara.

"Sparring in the training rooms." he sniffed.

"The training rooms! Which one?" Konan reared her head at this information.

"Uh… d-dunno, why?"

Sasori shuffled down the stairs with the Uchiha into Zetsu's room. They were wondering why the curtains to the training rooms were closed, Zetsu usually left them open for everyone. They shrugged it off though and hurried past the curtains. Itachi took the lead to the first room. He was about to open the door when Sasori pointed out it was locked. They knocked lightly.

"Who the hell could be down here so early?" Itachi grumbled.

"Kakuzu or Zetsu… or both." Sasori shrugged inside his shield puppet.

"There's no answer or sound…" he frowned.

"There's an override code, move over." Sasori approached a panel on the side of the door, fervently typing a code.

"'Yaoi?'" Itachi read, eye brow raised in question.

"Konan set up the override." Sasori huffed.

The door slid open to reveal a pool of blood with weapons and such other training parts lying in it. Itachi stepped in and looked around, careful to avoid the blood by tiptoeing. Sasori's Hiruko didn't offer much luck, so he waited outside.

"Uhh… S-Sasori… there's a dead body in here. No one I know of though…"

"What do you mean?!" Sasori's eyes widened.

"Just go tell the others, I'll double check for a pulse." Itachi called back.

Sasori jumped out of Hiruko, sealed him in a scroll, and then rushed upstairs. Zetsu's room was closest to the kitchen. Once he was in the hallway he slid back in the puppet and bustled into the kitchen. He first noticed Konan was in Deidara's face and then the others hovering around. Kakuzu was eating. It was then, at the sight of the old miser, he recalled Hidan.

"Konan, there's a corpse in training room one." He croaked. Everyone's head snapped in his direction, even Kakuzu.

"What'd you do to Itachi!?" Kisame glared, standing abruptly.

"N-nothing, _we_ found a dead body…" Sasori shrunk back from the immense and threatening chakra the shark man was exerting.

"Let's check it out. **Yeah, I'm starved." **Zetsu was first to head for his room, the others soon followed, Konan followed slowly behind Sasori.

"Konan, what do you know?" Kakuzu growled, worrying now about his partner.

"Nothing." She answered calmly.

"Sasori-danna, did you see the body? Hmm?"

"No, Itachi saw it, too much blood, didn't want to dirty Hiruko." He grunted in reply.

"So is there a possibility it's Hidan?" Kakuzu's eyes flashed briefly.

"He's immortal." Deidara and Konan said together.

"Who's Hidan?" Kisame asked.

"You don't remember that brat back at the brothel that tricked us?" Deidara scoffed, "You really are dumb. Hmm."

"Ah, that little pretty boy with a mouth dirtier than any sailor's."

"Yeah… hm."

In no time they had reached the room where Itachi was crouched over an arm and half a torso. Kakuzu stumbled into the room, yet again surprising the others (never thought him to be clumsy). He looked to the torso which was attached to the single arm, it had been cut from Hidan diagonally. He scanned the room for the rest of him, the one with his heart. The others had arrived and stared wide-eyed; Zetsu was drooling, Deidara was on the urge of a heart attack.

"K-Kakuzu! Wh-wi-can… can you bring him back?" He stuttered when Kakuzu found the rest.

"I don't feel a pulse…" he mumbled, crouching down to examine the boy's punctured heart. "Must've been recent though, still really… really… hot…" Kakuzu felt the blood rush to his cheeks.

"Uh… Kakuzu?" Sasori cleared his throat.

"We'll go ahead and leave you to clean up, Kakuzu. Zetsu'll be in his room to help." Konan inched her way to the stairs, waving her arms for the others to follow.

Sasori pulled Deidara to the stairs while Kisame and Itachi helped drag Zetsu from his feast. Kakuzu took no notice and stood, wandering around the training room, breathing heavily. 'Calm… calm… now… where's his scythe, don't forget you can always pawn it off. Far better prize then a hot -and living- whore for a partner.' He told himself, looking for the interesting weapon. He didn't take notice of how the muscle in the corpse's chest began to mend. He spotted the weapon in the arm of the missing half of his torso.

He looked down in pity at the lump of… bare, pale, bloodied, and highly attractive flesh. He crouched yet again and assiduously caressed the nipple, shuddering a bit at the warm, soft feel. He leaned closer, running his fingers through the moist, dark, crimson liquid. He sighed again in pity and stood, pulling his fingers to his lips under his mask. He froze when he heard a moan. He slowly turned in disbelief to the corpse. He approached slowly and searched for a pulse.

"Still no pulse… must be hearing things." He murmured, returning to the scythe and picking up the entire torso rather than just the weapon.

He soon began to put the body together with care. Once the two separated parts were lined up and the innards returned to their proper place, he pulled up his sleeve, letting his stitching slither out. 'He may not be alive, but touching a whole corpse must surely feel better than half of one.' he blushed to himself as the stitches started to weave themselves through the halves, pulling them together. Kakuzu didn't know, but each feel of the thread penetrating Hidan's skin was causing said 'corpse' to become more aroused as he slowly began to regenerate.

Kakuzu finished stitching him then slowly brought his knee to brush Hidan's member as he had once done to Deidara. He jumped again at the sound of a gasp. His head snapped to the door, thinking Zetsu or someone else had come wondering what was taking so long. Then he felt it. He felt the body beneath him squirm, wanting more. He heard the heart beat increase to a familiar rhythm he knew by know was one of arousal. His eyes snapped back to the other's reddened (not bloody, mind you) face.

He sprung off when he saw the magenta eyes flutter open. Kakuzu composed himself. Hidan looked to him, scowling. Kakuzu scowled back, struggling to keep his expression neutral. Oh, how many emotions he had worked so hard to bury for eternity, coming back to surface. Hidan stretched gloriously, wincing at the sound of the stitches straining. Kakuzu had done a lousy job in his excitement.

"Why the fuck'dya stop, heathen?" He growled.

"Stop what? I'll redo the stitching if it bugs you so." He crossed his arms, looking away, glad he was wearing his cloak.

"No, I was talking about…" Hidan realized what he was about to say and looked away, blushing. "Never mind, must've imagined it."

"Must've." Hidan looked back to Kakuzu, blush gone, scowl returned. "I'll redo your stitching so you won't have to worry about falling apart next time you stretch."

"Meh, fuck, don't give a fuck… fuck…" He added for extra measure, propping his torso up on his elbows.

Kakuzu sat down on the bloodied floor and dragged the bleeding man into his lap so he could get a better angle. (Not that angle, pervs… myself included). Kakuzu tapped at the first stitch, hooked a finger under it, then loosened it before tugging sharply, snapping the thread. Hidan writhed in his lap from the pleasurable pain as he roughly ripped out the stitch. He didn't completely remove the stitching or Hidan would fall apart again, he maybe fast healing, but it wasn't easy to mend flesh when there's always a risk of it falling off. He began stitching slowly from the beginning, occasionally scolding Hidan for his squirming. Once the second thread had neatly replaced the first, Kakuzu stood and helped Hidan up.

Hidan was caught off guard by the sudden offer of assistance. This was good considering that once up, he nearly toppled over. Kakuzu's arm shot out to support him by the small of his back. Hidan gave him an odd look before shoving away and towards the door, slipping on a weapon, blood, or both only to end up back in Kakuzu's waiting arm.

"Easy, take it easy, we quite a number of stairs to go up and hallways to go down." Kakuzu sighed, leading him to the staircase. "Just head up those steps walk right past the green man, as fast as you can, and look for the kitchen, Deidara, or Sasori." He instructed then growled, "I gotta clean up your mess."

Hidan only nodded and hurried up the stairs, leaving Kakuzu behind. He was slowly starting to get the hang of walking again, stumbling only three times up the stairs into Zetsu's room. Zetsu was lying on a bed that Hidan hadn't noticed earlier, then he remembered that there were curtains last night hiding any sign that this might be a room. At the smell of the immortal's blood the plant man sat up, eying him hungrily. 'The green man, huh? This bastard's black and white. The only green thing is that plant…is that what it is… and his hair…' Hidan's eyes narrowed and he walked a bit faster, noting the hungry look.

Zetsu followed the boy up the stairs and stopped when he stopped. 'Interesting… he's alive. I was sure he was cut in half earlier, right? **Of course he was… let's eat him now! Not like anyone'll worry. They already think he's dead and can barely support himself as is. **Kakuzu knows, and I'm sure the kid still has bite. **Aren't you hungry for a bite of him though? He smells divine and I want him.' **The black Zetsu made up his mind and increased his speed. The humane part sighed in defeat.

Deidara, Sasori, Kisame, and Itachi, meanwhile, were back in the kitchen. Itachi's mouth was watering for some dangos after last nights "commotion". Zetsu could become so noisy at times. He blushed when he remembered the incident before the explosion. 'Zetsu has no appreciation for others… privacy…' he thought to himself. 'And I probably shouldn't have mentioned Sasori and whether he was the girl. When he finds out I'm usually the girl…' Itachi shuddered, bringing his dangos out to the table, still blushing, unfortunately.

"What the…? Emo Weasel's blushing?" Sasori sneered, Deidara giggled.

"S-shut up!" Itachi stuttered, sitting besides his companion, looking down, blush increasing.

"Leave 'im alone guys." Kisame sighed, eating his fish, also blushing for no reason except that Itachi was.

"I don't need you to protect me, Kisame!" Itachi snapped. Kisame flinched.

"…" The other two squirmed at the awkward silence that pursued.

"Itachi~ Watch out or I'll take a dango~ hmm!" Deidara attempted a grin, reaching his hand's tongue over the table.

Itachi said nothing, merely glaring at the blonde, pulling his plate back. Deidara stopped reaching when his stomach grumbled. He still hadn't gotten anything to eat for breakfast. Sasori and Kisame looked at him for a bit until Kisame had to hide a laugh behind a large hand. Deidara scowled and stomped over to the fridge, yanking the door open just as the kitchen's door burst open. Hidan collided with Deidara.

"FUCKING SHIT! DAMNED PLANT! What the FUCK is your ISSUE!?" Hidan screamed, scrambling back up to hide behind Hiruko.

"I was just showing you to the kitchen…" Zetsu frowned when he noticed the others, '**Damn…'**

"Nuh-uh! You fucking tried to eat me!" He screamed.

"Hidan, SHUT UP." Sasori glowered.

"Yeah, seriously…" Zetsu sighed.

"Calm down, Hidan."

"Blondie, don't you fucking dare tell me to calm the fuck down!" Hidan growled when Deidara approached him.

"Stop calling me that, psycho-slut. Hm!" Deidara shouted back.

"Least people don't think I'm a chick at first sight." Hidan retorted, stepping from behind Sasori to get in his face.

"That's right, they call you a chick at home base when they see you have no dick, hmm!" Deidara was on a roll.

"S-shut the fuck up! You know for a fact I have one, fag!" Hidan snapped then added, "And I know mine's bigger than yours!"

"Is'not!" Deidara blushed with Hidan.

"Hidan, Deidara's is indeed larger…" Kakuzu entered.

"Umm… How is it that everyone knows what everyone's dick looks like?" At Zetsu's question Kisame laughed while Itachi smirked.

"You know how." He replied.

"Urgh, going back to bed. **You guys are confusing and loud." **He mumbled, shuffling back to his room, ignoring his hunger.

Kakuzu whacked Kisame in the back of the head when the shark wouldn't shut up. Hidan was fuming, intending to slaughter Kakuzu for insulting his manhood; the prick hasn't even seen his prick! 'Yet…' he thought with a uncontrolled blush. Kakuzu sighed, looking over at Deidara and his own, fuming companion. Deidara's stomach growled in sync with Hidan's; Neither had breakfast, nor dinner… nor any other meal for that matter. They were starved.

"Oi, anyone know where the fuck I can find some damn virgins around here?" Everyone looked to Hidan in complete, stunned silence… a few -cough-Kisame-cough trying to conceal a laugh.

"What do you want a virgin for…?" Kakuzu felt his eye twitch.

"It's fucking Sunday and I need to sacrifice some poor heathen before I eat, lest Jashin-sama disregard or abandon me." He explained, stroking his pendant.

"I thought it didn't matter whether your sacrifice was a virgin or a slut… after all, you sacrificed Yu-Yu-chan easily enough." Deidara returned to digging his food from the fridge.

"You're the one that killed Yukori?" Kakuzu raised a brow, "I take it Deidara ordered it."

"Hey, what can I say, yeah? The little prick wouldn't stop pestering me. Hm. As if I would trade masters with him." Deidara shrugged, placing his sausage-and-pancake-on-a-stick in the microwave.

"Meh, Jashin-sama wanted a sacrifice, I was hungry, Deidara gave permission; end of Yuko's life." Hidan smirked.

"… Thanks…" Kakuzu mumbled, astonishing Hidan and the other Akatsuki members; Deidara excluded.

"Kakuzu lost a bet to him and his master." Deidara explained, pulling his meal from the microwave, "It was over 53000 yen (roughly over 500$ about 505$), each."

"Your fault I lost the bet in the first place." Kakuzu grumbled.

"Atari was the master behind it all, hmm~?" Deidara asked, seductively lapping at the syrup dripping from his breakfast corndog.

"There's a village nearby I suppose… just hurry back, and try for unimportant looking people." Kakuzu grumbled. Sasori added, "Bring the body back here so it can be properly disposed of."

"You act as though you're used to this sort of routine…?" Hidan asked, heading for the entrance.

"Well, Zetsu _is a cannibal_." Kisame laughed.

"So the bastard was trying to eat me!" exclaimed angrily, marching out the door, slamming it behind with a force that shook the stone frame.

"3...2...1..." Kakuzu, Sasori, and Deidara counted.

"FUCK! Where the FUCK is the DAMNED EXIT?!" Hidan had returned, kicking the door back open.

"I'll show him…" Sasori sighed, escorting the silver-haired man out.

"Ugh, he's gonna be a hassle." Kakuzu grumbled, swiping Deidara's food.

"You didn't have to bring him, hmm. Now give that back!" He jumped for the stick Kakuzu now held high above his head. This earned another laugh from Kisame and a snort from his partner.

"You have to pay me for it." he smirked evilly.

"Screw it, I'll just grab another…" he grumbled, Kakuzu made a move to block the fridge.

"Wasting my money the more you eat."

"Want me to blow you up?" He snarled.

"Maybe." Deidara blushed at Kakuzu's tone.

"Fuck you!" He growled, turning heel, back to his room.

"Maybe later!" Kakuzu shouted after him.

"Never thought you to be the horn-dog type, loan-shark."

"Same to you, sex-shark." Kakuzu didn't know why, but picking on Deidara had made him feel… giddy. He practically skipped out of the kitchen, narrowly avoiding the Samehada's wrath.

"Sex-Shark?" Itachi raised a brow.

"Don't. Ask." Kisame mumbled, putting his head on Itachi's shoulder. Seeing as the kitchen was now empty, Itachi didn't protest, nuzzling his lover's hair.

Kakuzu's giddy feeling soon abandoned him and all he had left was Deidara's breakfast. He sighed before going down the hallway leading to said blonde's room. He didn't bother knocking; but neither did Deidara. The room was empty, the bathroom door closed. Kakuzu noticed the two beds pressed against a different wall then he was used to. He walked over to the beds and then noticed a familiar bottle on the bedside table.

"Wah! K-Kakuzu!? What the heck, man?"

"So, didn't have the heart?" Kakuzu turned, waving the unused lube in front of the blonde's pale yet flushed face.

"W-what do you mean?" Deidara laughed weakly, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Sasori is still a virgin?" He asked.

"…"

"Deidara?"

"… No…"

"Haha! You dirty little shit, no lubrication? And his first time too." Kakuzu laughed, nibbling on the end of the sausage-pancake-stick-thing.

"W-well… I brought it out in order to use it and all… but… we kinda got carried away and forgot about it…" He mumbled, his face was redder that Sasori's hair.

"That would explain your limp." He snickered, placing the bottle back on the table and then offering the stick of breakfast to Deidara, not planning on letting go though.

"What do you want?" he pouted, grabbing Kakuzu's wrist and yanking him to the bed in vain attempt to retrieve the food.

"Were you seme?"

"No, and that doesn't answer my question; hm!"

"Aw, but you make a great seme."

"S-shut up! And give me back my breakfast then get out!"

"You should take it easy with the food, Deidara. What'll happen if you get fat?"

"Okay, that's it, what's wrong? Hmm? You only make fun of me like this when you've got something serious on your mind. So, from one uke to another, what the FUCK do you want?" Deidara growled, chomping down on the food waved too close to him.

"Not a uke." he grumbled in reply, "Also, I'm sure biting like that is a turn off."

"Seriously though, Kakuzu-danna, what's wrong?" Deidara released his grip then began gently licking the place his teeth bit.

"You remember how I said crushes are short-lived?" he asked, watching Deidara play with the stick in Kakuzu's hand.

"Yeah, much like true art, hmm."

"You told me I was immortal though… have you changed your mind about the 'Hidan crush'?"

"Hmm, oh, no. Not at all, although I'd probably call it the 'Kuzu Krush' now. Have you noticed the way Hidan looks at you?" Deidara pulled back to look at the miser seriously.

"No, why should I care if he sends me hateful or disgusted looks." Kakuzu replied, taking a bite from the slightly soggy treat.

"If you haven't noticed then never mind. Things'll turn out how they turn out. If he freaks out when he sees your face, send him to me for a nice, painless punishing." Deidara grinned, sucking the rest of the sausage into his mouth, pulling it cleanly from it's wooden stick.

"Don't you mean painful?"

"Nah, he's a total masochist, fuck 'im as hard as you want." Deidara laughed after chewing and swallowing.

"Alright, regardless, I better be getting out. Sasori should be back soon. He seems the type to get jealous easily." Kakuzu stood, sticking the wooden stick in his mouth like a farmer with straw.

"Yeah, un, so cute, ne?" He giggled, flopping down on the two beds, stretched out.

"See ya. Oh, and tell anyone about these crushes… I'll kill you." Kakuzu shot back once out the door.

His concluding statement was met by another giggle. He shook his head slowly, returning to his room. He shut his door behind him and plopped down at his desk, reaching down to his safe to recount his only love and joy. He stretched, yawned and leaned back, not until after securing all his money… or so he thought.


	6. Part Two B

**12. Initiation**

Sasori led Hidan to the outskirts of the village where the remaining Rain Village shinobi camped. Hidan sighed at the pitiful mess of heathens; such a pity for all to live. Sasori stepped away after telling Hidan to only kill one, one that wasn't near the others. A lone wolf. Hidan snorted at being ordered around like a kid that didn't know any better. He inhaled long and deep before a crazed grin spread across his flawless face. He uttered a quick prayer (Sasori didn't understand the odd language) before rushing after the nearest lonely soul.

'Hidan really isn't all that bad…' Sasori trailed, watching as Hidan surprised the young nin patrolling the border. He watched in shock as he withdrew a spear and jabbed his hand, drawing a replica of his pendent on the ground with his blood. The other nin shot him a look questioning his sanity, as did Sasori. The hesitation prevented a perfect opening and Hidan struck, throwing his scythe which he had attached to a cable the puppet master hadn't noticed before. The nin had dodged a fatal blow, although Sasori suspected that Hidan wasn't trying to send him one. The scythe managed to slice his skin, however.

He watched the pink tongue flick out once the weapon was jolted back to Hidan's waiting hand and lap at the red liquid. Sasori's eyes widened when he turned black, white skeletal markings etching across his body. Hidan shuddered, raising the hand that held the pike directly over his heart. Sasori moved, about to stop the insane, suicidal moron. Although he wouldn't have made it if he teleported; blood gushed from the man's chest. Sasori, as he ran to try and help, noticed the man cough up blood, clutching his own heart.

Hidan began to spasm in pure ecstasy, eyes rolling to the sky. He sighed before laying in the circle as his body rejuvenated, finishing another prayer to his beloved Jashin. Sasori stopped, panicking; he recalled his uke mentioning that Kakuzu would be pissed if Hidan were to die. He was sure that suicide still counted as dieing. He hovered over Hidan, eyeing him worriedly. Hidan's eyes were closed, mouth parting to utter his prayer. Sasori shook with relief; he wasn't dead…

"Oi, what the fuck are you staring at?" Hidan spat, pulling the pike from his chest after his prayer, sitting back up. "Oww, fuck the pain."

"Maybe you shouldn't fucking stab yourself next time." Sasori glared.

"Meh! Self-inflicted pain is part of the ritual, puppet boy. It's also my jutsu, I'm immortal, so get used to it. Now, you said we had to dispose of the corpse?" He stood, walking over to kneel and poke at the body.

"He's dead?" Sasori thought for a minute before it clicked together, "Oh, so when you stab yourself after all that preparation," Sasori blushed when perverted thoughts crossed his mind (he thanked Hiruko), "the person who's blood you take… dies?" He watched as Hidan's skin returned to normal.

"Yeah, now, how the fuck do we dispose of this? I'm not carrying it all the way to base."

"Both of us will carry the body, chibi no baka."

"'The fuck'd you just call me!?" Hidan fumed as they both hefted the body.

"Chibi no bak- ow!"

Once Hidan and Sasori tossed the body into Zetsu's chambers, the redhead led him to his room. Hidan followed quietly, beginning to blush. He hoped his partner wasn't in the room. His rituals always turned him on. He needed release, he wanted the man to hurry to his room. After a minute, what felt like an hour for Hidan, they arrived at his and Kakuzu's room. He rushed into the room, slamming the door in the other's face. He leaped out of his clothes and under his covers.

'Shit~!' He whined to himself, reaching down under the covers to grasp his hardened member.

Kakuzu was aggravated when Deidara burst into his room, announcing the leader wanted to see him. The brat interrupted his work. He grumbled, whacking Deidara on the head in passing. Zetsu was just leaving the room when Kakuzu arrived.

"What do you want now?" He growled, standing before the desk.

"You and Hidan are to head for the Crescent Moon Island. We need more money before we make our big move."

'So soon?' "Crescent Moon Island to get _more _money? That's an island that wastes money."

"It is a rich island though, quite prosperous. I'm sure you'd have easier luck there than elsewhere."

"Hmm… I suppose you've got a point…"

"Why so unwilling to go? Got a gambling problem?" Pein joked.

"More or less. Let's just say, in the end, I always get the money." He grinned evilly.

"Is that why you snapped there and killed your last partner?" Pein scoffed in disbelief.

"Hai."

"Well, no matter, your new partner is immortal." He grunted, tossing Kakuzu a folder of statistics and charts involving the Island. Such as which places they should hit. There was also some money for necessities. (Food and place to rest.) "You're dismissed. Leave when ready."

"Whatever." Kakuzu rolled his eyes, tucking the files into his cloak.

Since Hidan was his partner, he wouldn't be able to take his cloak off anytime soon. He sighed, heading for his room. He opened the door and noticed said partner had returned, laced with sweat, he had a musky and bloody scent, laying in the bed naked.

"You should consider doing that in the bathroom next time." Kakuzu rumbled, startling Hidan.

He jolted up, tugging the covers over himself, blushing in embarrassment and fury. Kakuzu ignored him, tossing the file on his desk before heading for his own bed, still completely dressed. Hidan growled at him, glaring. Kakuzu ignored him, turning on his side, facing away from the other's piercing magenta eyes.

"What?" He finally snarled, getting annoyed.

"Umm… I need clean clothes." Hidan's face reddened further.

"What's wrong with the one's you had?" Kakuzu groaned, rolling back to face him.

"They're all dirty and unclean. Not to mention they're fucking whorish." He scoffed.

"What do you expect me to do about it? Why tell me?" He sighed, rolling back over.

"You're my fucking partner, fucking do something!" he whined.

"Fuck, go ask Deidara." He moaned, covering his head with a pillow.

"But-! I don't know where and I don't have any clean clothes to wear." he moaned, flailing in his bed.

"Konan delivered your cloak earlier." Kakuzu's voice was muffled under the pillow as he pointed to the desk where a black cloak was neatly folded on top.

Hidan wormed his way out of bed and over to the robe. He pulled it on, buttoning all but the top few buttons, liking the feel of the cool cavern breeze on his chest chiseled with old scars from his rituals and sexing. He soon found him caressing a particular scar that Deidara had given him their last time, right before leaving the whorehouse. It sucked though, because Hidan, unfortunately, couldn't read the kanji. It was near impossible to see and the symbols messy. He exhaled, he'd have to get someone to read it, although it was right below his navel. Deidara refused and anyone else that had fucked him after the blonde gave it to him was far more illiterate than Hidan. He knew a few kanji, such as boy, girl, love, I (feminine), and other such single words, as well as his own. He exhaled slowly, buttoning up another button that covered the scar.

He was about to leave when he remembered he had no idea where the blonde was. He turned to ask his new partner when he heard a rumbling snore though, he had realized the man had fallen asleep. He groaned and reluctantly left the room; he'd have to try and reawaken his old ninja training, try to pinpoint chakras. He received a shock when one signature drowned out the rest, he followed that one down a few hallways until he reached a hallway with two rooms in it. His hallway had only his and Kakuzu's room. He decided to try the first door, knocking lightly. In this hallway he only sensed maybe three chakra signals.

"Who is it?" Kisame's voice rumbled behind the door.

"Hidan, fish-fuck." he replied with a sneer.

"No need to confirm with your sailor talk. Kisame sighed, opening the door.

"What do you want, 'Uncle'?" Kisame sneered.

"Shut it, fish-fuck. So, sister told ya or did you just fucking remember me out of the… blue." Hidan bit back laughter, eying the blue skin.

"Oh, hardy-harr-harr." He grimaced, "A variety of both. There's also the fact you look like Mum." Kisame explained with a shrug, stepping out of the room, closing the door.

"I'd prefer you didn't acknowledge her as your family. We're not fucking blood-related--Thank Jashin for that-- Fuck, y'know where Deidara-chan is?" Hidan looked to the other door.

"Uh, yeah, he's in there with Zetsu." Kisame frowned, eyebrows knitting in confusion.

Hidan's expression copied him. He recalled the insane green guy Kakuzu had warned him about. The cannibal that tried to eat him and apparently wanted to eat Deidara. Hidan tried not to think this with his overly-perverted mind. He headed straight for the door, knocking sharply.

"Oi, blonde-fuck, I have a fucking favor to ask ya." he shouted, continuing his knocking until the door swung open, Zetsu bumped past him briskly, heading down the hall around the opposite corner Hidan had come from.

"Hidan-chan, what's your favor, hmm?" A smile danced across his lips, but Hidan saw worry in his old teacher's visible blue eye.

"I need clothes…" Hidan trailed blushing as he recalled Kisame's presence.

"Eh, what'dya do with them, already covered with the reek of sex, man-whore?" Kisame joked, patting an increasingly pissed off Hidan on the head.

"Fuck off, Shark Boy, go find Lava Girl." he snarled, snapping his teeth at the hand that had yanked back swiftly.

"Nah, I'll wait for you guys." Kisame smirked, leaning against a wall in the hallway.

The other two rolled their eyes and the blonde pulled his light grey-haired friend in the room. He led him over to his closet and showed him his selection. Hidan snickered when he spotted a few certain pieces.

"Shut up, un. Those are great presents to Danna." Deidara pouted.

"You still call Kakuzu that?" Hidan laughed, running a finger over the soft, lacey lingerie.

"Huh…? Oh, nope, it's a nickname reserved for my lover only." Deidara giggled, startling the other.

"I swear, if I hadn't been fucked by you, I would say you're the fucking bitch." He scoffed, pulling some regular slacks of a hanger. It seemed all the Akatsuki members wore garb similar to this and black shirts that suited them well. He, honestly, saw no need for a shirt, he was proud of his chiseled and slightly pale chest littered with barely visible scars for his worst injuries, a majority self-inflicted.

"Was that a compliment, hmm?" Deidara chuckled, wrapping his arms around the man, playfully innocent.

"Tch, don't flatter yourself. I take it I'll be forced to go commando?" Hidan frowned.

"I'll lend you one or two of them, hmm. However your waist is slightly larger than mine. Hmm…" Deidara blew in the ear.

"Fuck you!" Hidan pouted at the offensive comment.

"Nah, I gots Sasori-danna." Deidara purred, reaching into his drawers hidden in the closet, pulling out a few expendable pairs of his underwear.

Hidan groaned. 'Damn Deidara and his fetishes.' He watched as the blonde lay the women-like undies on the bed that had been pushed apart from Sasori's. Yeah, he'd be going commando for sure. Not like anyone was interested in him that he cared about. Even his Deidara had moved on, or at least gave up on playing with Hidan's trailing emotions. He wondered if he should confess his feelings.

"D-Deidara?" he began, feeling the blood rush already.

"Hmm?" he replied, now pulling out regular male underwear.

"Can I have the non-lacey ones?" He chickened out, "Although I wouldn't mind having one in reserve just in case?"

"Sure, here. Now, tell me what was really on your mind, hmm? You haven't said a single curse in awhile now. I've been with you long enough to know that means you're contemplating your feeling of love. Which, by the way, is making my mouth drool, if you wouldn't mind speeding the convo up, hm?" He handed him the wad of underwear and three pairs of pants.

"It's nothing really… I was just wondering… is Sasori still a virgin?"

Deidara froze, whipping to glare at the other. 'Fucking possessive much?' Hidan cringed, cradling the hand-me-downs. Seeing Hidan's reaction, Deidara's expression softened and he sighed.

"Yah, happened the night we brought you here." he answered, blushing now.

"Ah. Um, that's actually not what I meant to ask though." Hidan looked down.

"Does it have to do with Kakuzu?" Deidara loved the reaction Hidan showed.+

"Why does he dress the way he does?"

"Ah…. Hmm, next question?" Deidara smiled an apology.

"Oh, come on, you can't answer that slight question?" he steamed.

"I could, but then he'd kill me. Hmm. I think it's best you let him reveal himself to you." the blonde answered, scuffing the other's hair.

"Kisame, get in here."

"Why?" Hidan and the addressee asked the bomber.

"Take these clothes to Hidan's room, toss them wherever. Then meet back in the living room for Hidan's orgy." He grinned, snatching up the bundle in Hidan's arms, tossing it to the shark-man.

"Orgy!?" Hidan blushed as Deidara led him out, hand hovering behind the small of his back.

"Yeah, a welcoming party and hoping to you for lasting, hmm." he explained.

They continued down a few hallways. They passed the kitchen and into the living room. Hidan first noticed Itachi and Sasori huddled in the corner of the room, deep in conversation. Then he saw Zetsu over in a separate corner, playing chess with no one. He noticed Deidara scowl in Itachi and Sasori's direction.

"Oi, Itachi, what the fuck are you doing; didn't think you'd rear your ugly mug at a social event such as this. Hm." He approached the two, Hidan in tow.

"Behave, Brat." Sasori grumbled; he was in Hiruko, again.

"But Danna~!"

"Shut up, can't you see I'm having a conversation?"

"No, what I see is you alone with my enemy, completely disrespecting me, yeah." Deidara fumed.

"Seriously, Deidara, chill out. **Yeah, Sasori and Itachi have been together in this organization longer than you. Why talk with a novice?**" Zetsu rambled, appearing directly behind Hidan, scaring the shit out of him.

"I'm not a novice! HM!" Deidara snapped.

"That's right, Deidara already had his welcoming party, this time it's Hidan's turn." Kisame reappeared in the room, grinning smugly. Hidan didn't appreciate that it was aimed at him.

"**If he even lasts." **Zetsu smirked down at the albino, licking his lips.

"Zetsu, don't start." Deidara glowered a warning.

"What the fuck's that mean?" Hidan snapped.

"Nothing to concern yourself with, Hidan-chan." Deidara wrapped his arm around the other's waist, pulling him over to the couch. "Alright, let's start with the usual 'getting-to-know-you's."

The others gravitated over, on by one. Sasori claimed the other seat by Hidan on the black leather couch. Itachi claimed the loveseat that made the right side of the U of three furnishings. Kisame joined him; keeping his distance despite everyone knowing them to be "out of the closet". Zetsu took the loveseat across from them.

"Okay, who does Hidan want to question first? In return they will ask a question of you, hmm." the blonde explained to the zealot.

"Sasori," Hidan addressed, facing the puppet to his right, "What's your prick made of?" Laughter boomed throughout the base, mainly from Kisame, however Zetsu and Itachi joined in a bit more contained laughter. Deidara looked faint.

"T-that's none of your business." Sasori whined. It was funny to hear such a thing from inside Hiruko.

"Fine, Deidara, what's his dick made of?" Hidan smirked.

"Same thing yours is made of, damnedable brat." Sasori glowered, Hiruko's tail twitching.

"Thought you were a puppet…"

"Only half, mainly just my main torso." Sasori was beet-red within his defense, "Would you get an erection if I were to do this?" Sasori sneered, pressing the blade to Hidan's throat.

"Uh… m-maybe if you twitched it." Hidan was shivering. Everyone looked at him like he was nuts until Deidara explained he was a masochist.

"Next, you, Kisame." he snapped, carefully pulling Hidan from his lover's poisoned blade and into his lap.

"Are you blue from head-to-toe?" Hidan snickered when the one in question - and his partner - flushed.

"H-hai…" Kisame looked away from the others' widened eyes. "Have you ever missed your family?" he recovered.

"…" Hidan paused for a minute and tensed when he saw the hidden message, "Fuck no, they're immortal and I've already wasted too much of my never-ending life with the bitches." he replied coldly. Kisame gave a curt nod. The atmosphere was heavy until the blonde called Itachi's name.

"Is it hard to give your partner head?" Hidan recovered and Deidara slapped his palm to his face in annoyance, 'Here we go.'

"I have no idea, hn." Itachi replied calmly (surprising Deidara), "Have you ever been responsible for a family member's death?"

"My family's immortal, but yeah, I have." The blonde felt the man's muscles tensing up, his fingers digging into the other's pants.

"Alright, Zetsu, before I let it go though, I vote no more family questions."

"OK, **Fine."**

"Zetsu…what were you meaning earlier? About my lasting?" Hidan asked this time Deidara tensed.

"Well, Kakuzu angers easily, so **he kills every partner matched with him. I bet you'd not last 3 days. **And I bet a week." Zetsu grinned, "Now, answer why you're naked."

"Because damned clothes are uncomfortable, got a fucking problem, psycho-plant-pansy?" Hidan grinned smugly, "And since there's two of you, mind fucking explaining what the fuck you where doing in Deidara's room?"

"Hmm, **Mission info exchange, **and simple small-talk." Zetsu answered, seeing Deidara sigh in relief, "Now we get another question. **Did Kakuzu fuck your brains out yet?"**

"!" Hidan felt the blood drain from his red face, below his waistline. Everyone else bit back a laugh in case Kakuzu was to appear out of nowhere and slaughter them all.

"No." Deidara answered for Hidan whom was appearing to struggle finding a comfortable and slightly more dignified position.

"Hmm, **if you say so." they replied drolly.**

"Okay, shit, um, Deidara, mind telling me where you went after leaving me?" Hidan asked, getting his slight erection under control at last.

"Alright, not now though, after the party, but I'll ask you my question," he paused to consider his words, "Are you happy to be back with me and the other 2, hmm?"

The others shot confused glances at one another.

"Fuck off, why would I miss you heathens? You left me to rot in that heathen hole." He snapped, startling Deidara. "I suppose I did sorta miss you and Sasori though." he mumbled, then smirked.

"Haha, you suck. Well, regardless, welcome to the Akatsuki." Deidara laughed, wrapping his arms around the other's neck.

They partied until the sun rose. A majority- Dei, Kisa, Hida, & Zet- were drunk off their asses. Sasori was playing chess with the Uchiha, Deidara sighing contently in his lap with an occasional, light hiccup. Kisame was watching the game, not really paying attention; zonked out. An unconscious Hidan had been carried/dragged to his room by a slightly stumbling Zetsu. Zetsu's rational side- the human one- had been temporarily poisoned by the alcohol, dormant; leaving his demon half intoxicated and in control. He wasn't meaning to tumble in bed under the covers with Hidan, but he didn't correct himself, soon falling into a deep slumber, crushing the still-naked boy beneath him.


	7. Part Two C

13. Misunderstandings

"Wah! Fuckin' shit! Oi, Kakuzu, wake up, damnit! Help!!" Kakuzu grunted at the shrill male voice cut through what _was _a peaceable slumber land of Hidan squirming beneath him. "KAKUZU!! RAPE!! HELP!!" Hidan shouted; this time Kakuzu's eyes shot open. Hidan wasn't actually expecting a reaction.

"Wha-! Zetsu! Get the fuck off Hidan, you rotten flytrap!" he snarled once he saw the green man on his partner's bed.

"**No~ He's mine!" **Zetsu mumbled back, rolling over, pulling Hidan on top as he rolled over to his back, still drowsy; intoxicated.

"Wah! Kakuzu- He's biting my ear! Get it the fuck off!" Hidan panicked, flailing his arms uselessly.

"Ugh, you're pathetic." Kakuzu replied, rolling out of his bed and shuffling over to grab his roommate's arms, pinning them down. "Stay still; be right back. Today's Friday, right?" Kakuzu didn't wait for the answer before leaving Hidan with the cannibal.

Hidan cursed for awhile until the door to his bedroom opened. A black-haired boy with an orange swirly mask appeared, Kakuzu just behind him. The boy exclaimed when he spotted Zetsu, jumping onto said man, which inevitably meant Hidan's stomach paid the price.

"Hurry up and get your senpai off my partner." Kakuzu glared.

"Hai, Kakuzu-san~!" Hidan, despite being crushed by him, thought this man was far too childish to even be alive in a shinobi world.

"Get the fuck off!"

"Be a good boy and hurry before Zetsu gets hurt." Kakuzu sneered, implying that Hidan, if not himself would do the deed.

"Tobi's a good boy!" Tobi giggled, bending over Hidan to reach the other's two-toned face.

Neither Kakuzu nor Hidan saw what was under the mask, but he had lifted it, blowing into the man's face. Zetsu grumbled awake, brushing off the other. He released Hidan whom rolled out of the bed, landing with a thump on the floor. Hidan watched the new man tugging the plant out of his and Kakuzu's room, the latter was smirking.

"It's a good thing Tobi snuck in for a visit or else you'd have ended up as fertilizer… perhaps that's not the right word." Kakuzu mumbled the last bit as he thought, looking away to regain composure. "Anyways, hurry up and get ready; we leave on your first mission in a half hour." he grunted, heading for his safe then pausing once he remembered his roommate.

Hidan noticed; "Oi, what's wrong, dip-shit?" he pouted, pulling himself up, not bothering to veil his manhood.

"Ugh, put some pants on; this isn't the whorehouse." Kakuzu rolled his eyes, shocked that he wasn't blushing.

"Pf- whatever, asshole." Hidan crossed his arms, marching over to the wardrobe on his side of the room. The clothes Deidara had leant him were in there and he pulled them on quickly once he recalled their game last night. He had decided upon going to look for the man until his stomach growled loudly.

"I completely forgot to eat anything yesterday…" Hidan mumbled, suddenly feeling light-headed.

"Your own damn fault. Go to the kitchen, baka." Kakuzu was getting impatient to count his money.

"Fuck…" Hidan whined, starting out the door, but tripping on his robe. His vision went black.

In the kitchen, Deidara sat with Sasori (inside Hiruko again), barely paying attention to their recent assignment that Sasori was trying to- in vain- explain to him. He was convinced his blonde would only blow up everything in the end, regardless. Kisame was drooling on the table, waiting for Konan. Deidara looked on with curiosity when Kakuzu came in, heading straight to Zetsu's room.

'Odd, not only is it Friday (the day 'Good-Boy' Tobi visits), but Kakuzu despises Zetsu. Also… I don't believe the plant's in there… Hmm? What's he plan on doing with Tobi?' This is what the blonde was thinking rather than listen to his danna.

Said "danna" had finally given up, watching with slight interest when Tobi returned with Zetsu. The two took a seat at the table; Tobi directly across from the bomber, Zetsu from the puppet. Tobi waved enthusiastically at Deidara who returned a heavy sigh in reply. Konan entered soon after, heading for the fridge, trying to smooth down her messy hair. Kisame's drool increased as the smell of sweet, sweet food wafted up his nostrils. Deidara stood, resisting the urge to lick each of his mouths, and helped her bring food to the table. Since the party had left a majority of the early-risers to wake at noon, lunch was being served.

Deidara jumped when a pale hand flashed out, stealing one of his corndogs. Kakuzu had pulled Hidan to the kitchen; the food waking him from his weakened state. (xD, Dei likes the meat on sticks). Hidan now followed Kakuzu to the end of the table, gnawing on the cornbread. Deidara glared, though Hidan grinned back, harshly biting off 1/3 of the corndog. Kakuzu flinched at this; unconciously, of course. Zetsu noticed and sneered slyly in his direction. Kakuzu pretended he didn't notice everyone suddenly glancing at him.

"Kakuzu, how much money do ya got this morning, hm?" Deidara asked, "You must've counted it already after waking up earlier than us. You didn't bother comin' to your own partner's initiation."

"I…" he paled once he recalled not only the fact of the initiation, but of his break in habit. Konan dropped the platter of food on the floor; an awkward silence pursuing. The center of attention slowly began to slink away.

"What's with all the expressions, hn?" Itachi had entered the kitchen; Kakuzu nearly backed into him.

"Kakuzu came down to breakfast without counting his money!" Sasori explained, wide-eyed inside Hiruko.

Itachi joined the stares that bore down on the poor miser. Hidan was the only one that shot questioning glances from one member to another. Kakuzu darted from the kitchen. Once out of earshot- Kisame and Zetsu burst into a fit of laughter.

"I'm gonna go see if he has a fever… hmm…" Deidara cast a leer in the blue and green men's direction, soon leaving with Sasori for the miser's room.

"'the fuck…?" Hidan pouted in confusion.

"Oh, usually your partner counts his money the second he wakes up." Kisame explained, stifling his laughter.

"Greed is a sin." was the man's nonchalant reply. Kisame rubbed the back of his head, deep in thought.

"**He cares for money far more than any living thing." **Zetsu spoke, munching his own food.

"Tch, a greedy mother fucker for a roommate; just great."

"You have a potty-mouth." Tobi piped.

"And you're a shit-headed little bastard that acts like he's two." Hidan snapped.

"**Watch your tongue, Hidan. **Tobi is a good boy. **And you are Kakuzu's bitchy whore." **Zetsu glared with a slight smirk. "**I bet he sells you for 180 yen. **Now, now that's not enough; this man could easily raise his price with proper dress."

"As if I'm not fuckin' used to shit like that." Hidan muttered, using his teeth to pull the corndog from it's stick. It dangled from his mouth for awhile before he finally bit it. "I have a mission to prepare for, apparently." he mumbled around his lunch as he headed for the hallway he hoped was the one to his room.

"I can't believe you didn't count your money all because of the immortal moron." Sasori drawled, watching the addressed man busily counting his money, transferring it to a briefcase for travel.

"Sasori no danna, it can't be helped. I think it's cute."

"Not as cute as you, Dei-chan." Sasori couldn't resist, regretting it at the sound of Kakuzu's head hitting the desk.

"Get the hell out now before I kill you." His voice snuffed by the wooden surface.

"I'll go push the beds together." Sasori addressed to his smirking uke, then wished Kakuzu luck before whisking out the room.

"Deidara, one words and so help me--"

"Oi, Kakuzu-miser, when the fuck are we leaving?" Hidan burst in, letting the door slam against the wall, pinning the unsuspecting blonde against the wall.

"Ow…"

"Pipe down, you're too damn noisy."

"And you're too damn fucking ugly." Hidan snapped back. He didn't notice the other flinch as he walked over to pack a small pack on the bed that Kakuzu had left out.

Deidara soon caught Kakuzu's attention after he had slowly secured his money. The man sighed, pulling the blonde from between the wall and door. Said blonde made his way over to help his old friend pack for his mission.

"Deidara, you of all people should know that Sasori doesn't like being kept waiting. Especially if he has a hard-on." Kakuzu added the last part just for spite, enjoying Deidara's fierce blush.

"Jerk! Hm!" Deidara hissed, marching out of the room just as Hidan placed his pack around his waist.

"You're a cruel heathen."

"Let's go."

"Not quite yet, I gotta get my scythe cable coiled."

"You have fifteen minutes, I'll be in the hall by the entrance. Time is money and money is everything."

"No, Jashin is everything."

-SLAM-

"Jackass…" Hidan mumbled, pouting at having the door slammed in his face.

After Hidan was fully ready, he had reached the empty kitchen before realizing he had no idea where the entrance was. He looked at the door to Zetsu's room and shuddered. He _really _didn't want to see the cannibal. However Deidara and Sasori were occupied and he was annoyed with Kisame for reasons uncertain to even him aside from the fact it was Kisame and he has caught himself rambling in his thoughts. Itachi enters the kitchen, his partner soon behind and Hidan exhales a sigh.

"Damnit, Kisame, where the fuck is the entrance to this shit-smelling, cave-like hideout?" he whined.

"Right behind you…" Itachi answered first, amazed at the other's lack of ninja training. Surely he knew how to follow obvious chakra trails.

"Oh, thanks emo-bitch." Hidan replied with no change in tone, as if he had addressed the Uchiha politely.

The partners scowled, watching the rude, newest member leave. Kisame shrugged when Itachi shot him a look. They exchanged a few more expressions that only they could understand before they too left for the door. They stopped when they saw Hidan held up to the wall by his neck, Kakuzu growling inn his face.

"Are we interrupting anything?" Kisame asked slyly.

"No" "Yes"

"…?"

"Yes" "No"

"Make up your minds!" Kisame snapped as Hidan fell to the floor once released.

"I was going to kill him." Kakuzu growled.

"That's an impossibility though; Hidan-san is immortal." Kisame smirked.

"Yeah, I tried telling this shit-head and he didn't believe me!" Hidan hissed, caressing his neck.

"We'll just see by the end of this week, boy. Now come on; we've wasted too much money already." the other grumbled, reclaiming the bags that had been thrown to the floor.

Hidan had came in while Kakuzu was distracted; fantasizing about said male. He had snuck up to him and had attempted to pull down the miser's mask. He almost succeeded but Kakuzu panicked, throwing the boy against the wall, choking him. The mask hid his flush while the cloak hid his hard-on… luckily. He threatened the grey-haired man and was further enraged at the manic laughter that followed. Hidan had even dared insult the one that had control.

Now they were on the road, crossing the desert lands to reach the water with the dock with transport to their destination. Their first night together on the road was torture- for both of them. Hidan had complained constantly with an occasional death threat comment from Kakuzu. Once the sun dipped below the horizon, Kakuzu forced Hidan to keep going without resting at the three villages they had passed. Only when Hidan had collapsed did Kakuzu stop unwillingly to drag him under some form of cover. He let out a mask to keep watch as he himself fell into a light slumber.

Hidan awoke late in the afternoon, stretching gloriously and _almost _too drowsy to realize his fingers had brushed something warm and writhing.

"ARGH! WHAT THE FUCK!!?" Hidan jumped when he noticed the mask gazing down curiously at him.

Kakuzu jolted up when Hidan accidentally stepped on his groin in his panic. Without thinking, he kicked Hidan off, the unsuspecting male be carried farther than anticipated, back of his head splitting against a nearby tree. As Kakuzu began to clam down, he noticed Hidan's earlier sleeping place was empty. He looked at his mask which was staring in another direction. Kakuzu followed its gaze and he slapped his hand to his forehead.

"FUCK!" Hidan shouted, the man looked back to the wounded, standing to approach.

"Alright; I'll believe you're immortal for now, brat." Kakuzu crouched by the grey-haired man, reaching out a hand.

"What are you gonna do, damnit?" Hidan flinched away.

"Stay still so I can fix your ugly head." Kakuzu growled, yanking Hidan closer by his hair, causing the man to moan out; the head wound stung even worse now.

Hidan had his eyes shut closed, wincing in the pain above and below, missing the sight of the threads making their way to his skull. He jolted when he felt the threads pierce his skin; so close to his skull. He was beginning to regret being such a masochist. Kakuzu finished quickly, despite his patient's squirming and pulled back. Only noticing the hard-on at the sound of Hidan's moan- or was it his own moan from his own erection- he suddenly worried.

"Uh… Hidan… you-you're kinda… um… why are you hard?" Kakuzu couldn't resist asking.

"W-WHY THE FUCK SHOULD YOU CARE!?" Hidan shouted suddenly jumping up. Of course, as we all know: blood loss + quick standing = swooning.

"Considering you got one with me so near, I couldn't help but think…" Kakuzu trailed, supporting Hidan.

"FUCK NO! You misunderstand- I… I just like the pain a bit too much." Hidan flushed with the other.

"Well… no matter, hurry up and fix it so we can get a move on; we've wasted too much time and time's-"

"Money! Jeez, greedy shit…" Hidan interjected, snatching his sleeve as he began to leave, "Why? Don't you wanna help?" He smirked, earning a hard punch in the face.

"Fuck off… yourself…" Kakuzu growled, rushing into the trees, returning his mask to his back while hiding from Hidan.

"Fine… mother… fucker…" Hidan pouted once Kakuzu had left his line of sight.

He slunk the to the ground and did just as the other had told him. He shoved his hands down his pants, wrapping the fingers around his member, rubbing softly. He teased himself, squeezing hard occasionally. Soon he was unable to handle his teasing, speeding up and twitching more. Kakuzu spied him from the bushes, his erection growing. He groaned and appeared from his hiding place, startling Hidan. Kakuzu wordlessly knelt by Hidan, watching. He hadn't bothered stopping his stroking, quickly accommodating to the company.

"Y-you h-hard too?" Hidan panted out.

"If I am?"

"I-I'll blo-blow you."

"Tempting, however, should you do so," Kakuzu paused, reaching for his pants, "understand that this is only for the release, I have no interest in you."

"He-heh! Ditto- basta-tard." Hidan groaned, his climax fast-approaching. "Fuck!"

"Not yet." Kakuzu smirked, snatching Hidan's hands from his pants just before he reached his orgasm.

"Oi!" Hidan scowled then jumped when Kakuzu replaced the pale hands with his own. "I recall you asking for help?" Kakuzu explained, running a finger over the already moistened tip; Hidan gasped, grinding his teeth.

It didn't take long after he started stroking before Hidan couldn't hold it in. Kakuzu withdrew his come-covered hand. Deep inside he recalled all those times Deidara hadn't gotten enough from a simple hand job, but he kept them from resurfacing easily, pulling out his own pride and glory. Hidan found himself ogling. 'It-it's huge! I mean… so far, with all my experience… biggest I've seen.' Hidan blushed, crawling for him, 'Then again… I never actually paid attention to others'… so why do I find myself staring at his…?' Hidan gulped before placing his lips against the heated and wet skin of his new partner. He didn't look up because he couldn't bring himself to- ever; this stuff still embarrassed the shit out of him. He slowly let the head slide past his lips, tongue lapping the juice that formed. Hidan was surprised that he actually missed such a foul flavor. Kakuzu was becoming impatient and he could tell. He stopped playing around, letting the tip brush his gag reflex. Kakuzu moaned. Teeth scraped the flesh. Hidan kept up the constant attack but soon got bored, switching back to fondling. He could feel the pulsations soon enough and returned the member to his mouth, sucking and bobbing until Kakuzu's grip on his hair tightened.

Hidan hadn't even realized he had placed his hand there, but the throbbing, stinging feel brought him to reality moments before his mouth was flooded with Kakuzu's essence. Hidan hadn't been expecting it and released him, unable to stop from coughing it up. Kakuzu was panting heavily for only a moment. The second he recovered, he stood, readjusting his clothes and started to walk off.

"Oi, fucker! Wait up, damnit!" Hidan cried once he had recovered minutes later to see his "fuck-buddy" walking off. With a frown he jumped to his feet, snatched up his small bag that had been abandoned during sleep, and chased after him.

* * *

I'm going to have to fix the chapters and their formatting. I am also planning a Valentine's challenge seeing as I have a 4-day weekend from school.


	8. Part Two D

**14. Sea Sick with Love **

Hidan yawned hugely once they finally arrived at the docks. He and Kakuzu, surprisingly to most other Akatsuki members, managed not to attempt slaughtering each other. Although Kakuzu did come pretty close a few times, choking him was not something he counted as slaughter. Hidan was indeed holy alright, a holy pain in Kakuzu's back (thought I was gonna say ass? Ha, Kuzu=seme).On the outskirts of the settlement they transformed and Kakuzu pulled out their tickets for the ship they were to board in a matter of minutes. They were, of course, running late thanks to Hidan and his complaining to rest every few minutes. They hurried through the crowd, shoving people and being shoved in turn, until they reached their lovely cruise ship. They reached the landing ramp and handed their tickets to the sailor collecting.

"This ship is pretty small for a cruise ship. Must've been expensive though, due to the quality and length of trip. Not to mention the destination is a pretty hot spot." Hidan noted, surprising Kakuzu whom didn't think the zealot knew about money affairs.

Kakuzu nodded and continued to the main deck. Kakuzu took a map of the ship from a little stand and slowed his pace so Hidan could see it as well. He heard Hidan mumble something about being hungry and asked where their rooms were. Kakuzu pointed at the stairs leading below deck. Hidan huffed and trudged down behind Kakuzu. Their room was at the very end of the hall and to the left.

"If we're on a fucking money mission... How were you able to afford this shitty boat?"

"Tickets were in that envelope from Sara." He answered, "Although I'm not sure how she knew this would be our destination and on this day and time too..."

"Yeah, bitch has always been fucked up like that." Hidan scoffed, entering their room before the suddenly curious partner.

"You sound as though you've known her longer than I." He noticed Hidan flinch. "Meh- You know what the fuck I meant, bastard." Hidan shrugged, slipping his cloak off his shoulders, letting it stay behind him.

"Oi, you better fix that slovenly behavior by the time we get back to base. I refuse to be your maid and refuse to see _your_ crap lying all over _my _floor." He growled.

"Heh! As if I give a fuck- What are you doing!?" He gasped once Kakuzu advanced towards him, towering overhead.

"Don't try my patience nor my temper." He growled in Hidan's ear, placing his hand around the ashy throat and squeezing for emphasis.

"F-fine! I'll pick it up! Put me down, shithead! You know about my problem. I don't feel like sucking you off or vice-verse." He gasped and inhaled deeply once Kakuzu released him. Hidan watched Kakuzu storm into the bathroom, slamming the door behind him. 'Ugh, I hope that fucker isn't doing what I suspect...' Hidan blushed in-spite his thought which he had attempted to veil in a tone of disgust and failing. He sighed and sat on the single king-sized bed. He pulled off his coiled cords and placed them to the side along with the scythe. A few moments later, the bathroom door opened and Kakuzu reappeared in his plain black cloak and his headband was missing from his headgear.

"Throw on a shirt, slob." He snapped at Hidan, putting both of their cloaks away in the end.

"Don't fucking have one." Hidan scoffed.

"Then I'll have to buy you one. Stay here." Kakuzu headed for the door only to pause when he heard someone stumble behind him.

"Wait- don't leave me, shit-head." Kakuzu imagined Hidan pouting, begging and tugging on his cloak like a lost kid.

"I'll be right back with a shirt then we'll go have a look around. Better than staying put I suppose." He felt heat pool in his cheeks and hurried out the door.

He shuffled past other passengers, ignoring their faces, and looked around for one of the shops he had spied on the map. He worried about the ship's name. "_Love's Voyage_." Corny, yet still self-explanatory- not to mention Sara had given him _free_ tickets. No doubt she was expecting something. He found one of the shops and entered the somewhat crowded store, looking for the cheapest shirts.

"Oh! Is that you, Kakuzu-sama?"

Kakuzu turned abruptly at the once familiar title. A tan man in a light, open button shirt was standing with his hands in the pockets of his khaki Capri shorts. He had short black hair slicked back and narrow green eyes. Kakuzu's eyes narrowed suspiciously.

"If it isn't one of Sara's little 'business men'." Kakuzu drawled, straightening to tower over the other.

"The pot shan't call the kettle black, my old colleague." The other laughed dismissively.

"I was right then, in assuming this is Sara's ship."

"Indeed 'tis. Can I help you in finding anything in particular? I'll even give you a bargain if you'd be so kind as to tell me your secret."

"'Secret?'"

"The secret on how you've managed such amazing and successful little sluts such as Atari and Deidara."

"That's simple- you just give them what they want and call it even."

"I see, well, I see you're looking for some shirts."

"Hm. Nothing expensive- my... partner... goes through them easily."

"Come with me to the back area and I'll give ya some."

Hidan waited impatiently for Kakuzu to return. He had sat on the bed for some time then went to the mirror. He frowned, fussing over a loose strand, slicking it back to join the others only to have more take its place. He clicked his tongue and turned on the faucet. He splashed the water on his face, wiping the excess drops into his hair. He admired his reflection in the mirror after switching the water off. He deemed his appearance worthy enough and heard Kakuzu's return. He pad back into the room and saw him pulling two shirts out of a paper bag.

He spotted the receiver of the shirts and tossed him one. They were all identical- tight and black. The only difference was sleeve length. Sleeveless, short-sleeved, and long-sleeved. Hidan was slipping the t over his head while his partner put the other two away.

"The ship's leaving dock, people should be heading for their rooms by now. Let's go take a look around..."

Hidan followed Kakuzu out onto the main deck. The sun was dipping under the horizon, painting everything a romantic scene. Hidan scowled at this, staying back from the railing. They continued around the ship and soon their stomachs demanded attention.

"There's a restaurant below deck." Kakuzu said.

He withdrew the map from his cloak and led the way to the restaurant. The restaurant was named _Immortal Romance. _This confused the two until they noticed love was the restaurant's theme and they reluctantly entered to be seated by a young man in a waiter's suit.

"Would you like a private setting or-"

"What ever's closest, I'm fucking starving." Hidan snapped.

"Ah, alright, this way then." The waiter didn't seem to mind Hidan's attitude and led them to a nearby and open booth. There weren't too many others around this one. "Your server will be here shortly- I would serve you myself, however she's a trainee. The experience should do her good." He looked at Hidan as he said.

"Tell the bitch to hurry." Hidan growled in unison with his & Kakuzu's stomach.

The waiter bowed and left the menus in front of them. They sat facing each other, glaring at their pink and fluffy surroundings. The glares only ceased once they met, canceling one another out. A young girl stumbled over to the table, notepad at the ready. Kakuzu's eyes widened a bit and he shot a quick glance at Hidan whom had a quizzical look on his face. He looked back to the waitress that had pure white hair, pale skin, and red eyes. She looked as if she were related to the ½ albino before him.

"Hi, my name's Uzui and I'll be your server for the morning. Is there anything you'd like right now?" Her voice was soft and unsure and she seemed to be casting a nervous glance over to Hidan.

"Ah, yes, Uzui-chan, you may get us something for the _evening, _for _morning_ has long since passed." Hidan corrected.

"Oh, yes, sorry, thank you..."

"We'll just have water." Kakuzu answered, not bothering to question Hidan's sudden change in behavior.

"And you, Hidan-kun?" She asked Hidan.

"Water." Hidan sighed at Kakuzu's warning leer. He wasn't going to be able to enjoy this mission with such a stingy and controlling partner.

"... Are you sure?"

"Just go get the damn water so we can get something to eat." Kakuzu growled. The girl jumped a little and scurried off. Kakuzu winced at Hidan's kick to his shin under the table. "What!?"

"She was just trying to be nice- it's her first time." Hidan rolled his eyes, looking at the menu.

Kakuzu grumbled but let the subject drop. His eyes darted down the menu of meals suitable for loving couples- spaghetti, roast, cake, and what-not- he soon spotted the cheapest- Ramen. He closed the menu just as Hidan did. Uzui returned, setting a glass of water in front of Kakuzu and a red liquid before Hidan. Kakuzu was about to say something but got a kick to the knee.

"Uzui-chan-"

"Thi-this is on the house for helping me." She blushed, looking away.

"In the future, it's best to get customer's what they order. I will have the usual." Hidan flashed a smile towards a very confused Kakuzu.

"What about your boyfriend?" She asked innocently.

"!" The water Kakuzu had took a sip of moments before shot out and Hidan flushed incredibly bright.

"Uzui! We're not dating- we're co-workers, damnit. I have no interest in this creep." Hidan recovered, sounding harsher then intended.

"Uh- I-I'll just have ramen..." Kakuzu muttered, looking away from Hidan.

"I'm so sorry- it's just that this-"

"It's ok, just go get us two bowls of ramen." Hidan sighed, patting her head.

She nodded and took off. There was an awkward silence between the two outlaws staring anywhere but at each other. Awhile passed before Hidan spoke.

"I'm sorry about her, she can be a bit... compulsive and jumps to conclusions quite a bit." He ruffled his hair.

"So you know her personally?" Kakuzu finally looked back up at Hidan.

"Um... yeah. See... she's kinda... well... she's..."

"Uncle!" They jumped at the shrill voice of a little girl running up to their table, latching around Hidan's waist.

"Oi, what the hell?" Hidan and Kakuzu spoke in unison, looking at the little blonde with magenta eyes.

"Oh, Hidan-kun, I'm sorry- she doesn't really know better yet." Uzui returned, placing the piping hot bowls of ramen in front of the two men, sitting down when the little girl went to hug Uzui's leg.

"Ah, so this is that brat I've been hearing of." Hidan rolled his eyes, ignoring the girl now to slurp his noodles.

"Would you mind watching her?" Hidan choked on his noodles, snapping his head to look at the pleading waitress.

"Why the fuck would I-"

"If you don't, I'll tell big sister that you're on a date without her approval!"

"I told you I'm not-"

"It's not like you'll be there to prove me wrong, big brother."

"This is black-mail!"

"So!? Tell you what- if you watch her tonight, I'll pay for your meal."

"He'll watch her." Kakuzu answered immediately at the mention of a free meal.

"OI- don't answer for me basta-"

"It's a deal then." Uzui grinned evilly, spinning around and leaving the paid bill at the table.

"That bitch planned this from the start!" Hidan cried in exasperation. "She always pulls this shit with me! Anytime I try to tell anyone though-"

"You didn't show much suspicion of her earlier..." Kakuzu noted, slurping his ramen without removing the mask and distracting Hidan's rant as he turned his attention to the possibility of seeing Kakuzu's face.

"That's because she always wins and it's best not to get on her bad side. I was trying to be fucking nice and look where the fuck it gets me!" Hidan's head hit the table with a dull _thud._

"Well, I believe you." Kakuzu smiled subconsciously and Hidan's heart skipped a beat.

He rose his head to find Kakuzu had already rushed to turn his attention to his bowl of ramen. Hidan sighed once more and began to slurp his ramen. The little girl yawned and crawled onto his lap- much to his annoyance. He continued to ignore her, however. He refused to make eye contact with her and Kakuzu noticed this between slurps. Soon they had finished and Kakuzu stood.

"Is the kid hungry?"

"Don't know, don't care." Hidan scowled, scooting of the booth, the little girl waking just in time to catch herself when he stood.

Kakuzu said nothing and gave the bill to the cashier on the way out. He went through all that had happened in the restaurant and discovered a few things about Hidan. One; He actually did have a "good side". Two; He has at least three sisters. Three; He didn't like kids. Four... Kakuzu frowned, _'He hates me.' _While Kakuzu wallowed in self-pity, Hidan was making plans on where to keep his niece. '_The closet might have to do... or the bathroom...'_

They made it back to their cabin, Kakuzu heading for the bathroom while Hidan collapsed on the bed, face down and resting on crossed arms. He was beginning to feel weird and it didn't help to have something poking his foot. He sat up again and left the room, pulling the girl along with him. He led her to the railing and told her to stay put. He wasn't going to leave, but he wasn't going to watch her either. Instead he watched the angry sun get swallowed by the calming ocean.

'_I feel like I'm seasick, yet when I'm watching the sea... I have no reaction. I know I've felt like this before... but when and why? Jashin-sama, I'm so confused... tell me what is happening to me.' _He closed his eyes and left his head to rest on his arms on the railing.

Kakuzu looked at his scarred face reflected in the mirror with disgust. '_Look at me... I should probably just show that kid and hopefully, when I get an obvious rejection... Ugh, I sound like a fucking girl- there's no way this is a crush... Yet, no matter how I wish it not to be with him... I can't help but feel there's something more and it's beginning to piss me off... FUCK!' _Kakuzu exhaled sharply, straightened up, and replaced his mask to leave the bathroom. He didn't see Hidan and his heart fell- literally. The wind-style mask detached from Kakuzu's body, whimpering. Kakuzu glared at it.

"Well, what is it, what do you want?" He asked it.

It said nothing, looking from it's master and to the door multiple times.

"You want me to look for him..." Kakuzu looked pained at his heart's nod, "Why... only to have you and your brothers break?"

A second mask- the fire-style- slipped from his back to join the other.

"Only two of you would break..." Kakuzu told them.

The third and fourth masks now crowded with them and Kakuzu's remaining heart skipped a beat.

"I'm in love... aren't I?"

"Brother! Wake up, brother!"

Hidan moaned, stirring from sleep at the vibrations against his ear. His sister was leaning over him. '_Must've slid to the floor at some point...' _Hidan thought, his eyes drooping. He felt so tired and his stomach was still feeling odd. In fact... it felt worse. Hidan groaned again and his sister began to worry. She slung his arm over her shoulder and hefted him to his feet. He wobbled and clung to her. She sighed and helped him back to his room. Hours had passed and the decks were all now nearly deserted. When Hidan had collapsed, his niece had run to find her mother. She opened the door of the dark room and shuffled over to the single bed to sling Hidan on it.

Kakuzu had searched the entire boat for Hidan and was returning to their room just as Uzui softly closed the door behind her and led her daughter in the other direction. He soon found Hidan on the bed, fast asleep but his breathing sounded a bit odd to Kakuzu. He approached his partner and tentatively reached to feel his forehead. Hidan murmured something that made Kakuzu freeze, feeling his hearts stop beating altogether before retracting his hand from the overheated forehead and slipping under the covers to drape his arm around the Jashinist's waist. The words uttered by the smaller man echoing throughout his dreams.

"I love Kakuzu.... fuck..."

* * *

Okay- urgent question- would you guys like for Atari and Suki to make a reappearance in the following chapter(s)? I might do it regardless, but I would like to know if you guys liked the two man-whores. Also – SasoDei in the next chap! KakuHida at a delay until I decide on Atari and Suki's "fanbase" so-to-speak...


	9. Part One D Flashback

**15. Flashback**

Deidara was still drowsy, recovering from his hangover. Sasori had gone to the kitchen about 15 minutes ago and when he returned with a tray of food for Deidara he sat besides the blonde on the bed. He watched his bomber slowly reach for the cup of juice and spoke.

"Deidara... what did you do after I left...?"

Deidara froze, cup inches from his parted lips. He set down the glass, stalling, as if thinking carefully through his answer.

"Well..."

_~Flashback- Sasori's Departure~_

"Sasori~! Kakuzu-danna gave me free time!" Deidara grinned, dancing into the little cabin his lover stayed. He was surprised to see bags packed and Sasori missing from the front room. Deidara tiptoed to the redhead's bedroom door and peeped through the slightly opened door. "Sa-sor-i?"Deidara looked sad, stepping into the room and startling the other.

"Ah, Deidara... What are you doing here? I thought you said Kakuzu was starting to increase your customers!" Sasori stuttered, standing up-straight and hiding something behind his back.

"He did and I finished them early with exceptional ratings, un... Aren't you glad to see me?" Deidara pouted, suspicious that Sasori was hiding something major.

"I- uh- ye- er... No..." Sasori managed, refusing to make eye contact with the shocked and very hurt male.

"Wha- Why!?" Deidara began to panic, fearing the worst- that he had drained Sasori of all love.

"It's not you, It's me- I just need to get out of here. I've already stayed longer than planned. I killed to get this place, it's only a matter of time before I'm found out. I've got to go out and make something of my skills- not rot away here spending my days with someone like you." Deidara flinched at the last bit, taking it the wrong way however Sasori failed to notice. "I am leaving, Deidara, to join a powerful organization that has an interest in my abilities. I got a letter from them just a few weeks ago."

"..." Deidara became eerily silent, and Sasori sighed, pushing past. Deidara let him, not turning around, emotionless, as if he had become a puppet or a clay statue. Sasori looked over his shoulder, gathering his bags and gave a sad look of lustful longing at Deidara's back before he left. After hearing the door slam shut, Deidara crumbled. He slowly sat down on the bloodstained floor and pulled his knees under his chin. He stared off at nothing, tears flowing without a sound- eyes wide in shock.

This is how Kakuzu found him the following morning. He came to collect Deidara and was curious as to why the door was unlocked when he tried the knob after someone failed to answer his knocks. The place seemed empty to Kakuzu and he made his way to the bedroom. _'Maybe Deidara caved in... I just hope Sasori hasn't left...'_ Kakuzu began to worry, a heart beating erratically at the thought of his happy "product" being torn to shreds.

"Deidara...? Sasori?" He called upon seeing the bed empty and lights off.

"Sasori's gone... Deidara's dead..." A shiver went down Kakuzu's spine at the sound of Deidara's empty voice.

Kakuzu found Deidara still cradling his knees, staring at nothing. Signs showed the miser that the blonde had been crying for a while, recently stopped. Kakuzu went to kneel in front of the broken boy, looking into his eyes. At this, the tears returned, only this time- sobs racked his body and Kakuzu's eyes widened. He pulled the other male's head to rest against his chest and petted his blonde locks to comfort him. Deidara grasped at Kakuzu's back, draining one of his hearts of chakra; however he let him, pulling him into his lap and gently rocking him like a mother would her child.

Everyone was a child in Kakuzu's eyes- but Deidara, at the moment, was _his _child. Sasori would eventually pay for this. Deidara- poor sixteen year old Deidara...

~_Flashback- flash forward- 2 days after Saso's departure~_

"Oi, Kuzu-sensei, open up!" Atari's fist pounded on the door of Kakuzu and Deidara's room in the brothel. The latter was no where in the room at the moment, but Kakuzu opened the door and stepped out to face the obnoxious young man.

"Please tell Deidara to stop upsetting my product." Atari whined. Kakuzu merely sighed and allowed him to be led to the cells.

"WHAT?! YOU BASTARD!" Kakuzu was startled to hear Hidan's shouts from the end cell and hurried past Atari to see Deidara's collar being held up through the bars by said hothead.

He spotted Suki huddled in the corner of the cell, cowering from his pissed cellmate. Kakuzu leered at Hidan whom just noticed his company and released Deidara's collar, only to deliver a punch to the gut. Kakuzu started as Deidara doubled over, coughing.

"Knock it off!" Kakuzu growled dangerously. "Atari- go ahead and take Suki, I'll take care of my stock."

The former prostitute dipped his head and slipped past the bars and back out with Suki before Hidan could get enough sense to run. Once Atari had left Kakuzu whacked Deidara in the back of the head.

"'The hell was that for?!" He protested with a pout.

"Stop torturing Hidan and Suki." Kakuzu replied.

"I wasn't!"

"Hidan?" Kakuzu turned to Hidan whom was fuming- silently!

"The bastard said something about-"

"Hidan!" Deidara sounded panicked, cutting off Hidan's explanation. Kakuzu slapped a hand over his mouth and rolled his hand urging the false albino to continue.

"He wants to leave the brothel!" Hidan rushed. Kakuzu rose a brow, looking down at the blonde and retracting his hand from the mouth, wanting an explanation from him.

"Sasori's gone..." Deidara began, immediately averting Kakuzu's gaze. He told him what had happened and the elder began to fume on the inside as he had two days earlier but before he could say anything, Deidara continued, "I want to go and look for him. Nothing he told me made any sense..." Deidara trailed, nibbling on his thumb nail.

"Why the fuck should you!? What did that bastard do to you? He left you- that's what. Kakuzu and I are still here- isn't that fucking good enough?" Hidan howled.

"Alright Deidara, back to our room. I'd like to discuss this matter in private..." Kakuzu straightened, appearing professional as if he was talking price with a customer.

Kakuzu closed the door behind them once they got to their room and Deidara plopped down on their bed. Kakuzu crossed his arms and leaned against the door, looking expectantly to the blonde whom was twiddling his thumbs.

"Now, you want to leave, correct?"

"Yes, Kakuzu-danna..."

"Have you forgotten the pact we made when you agreed to join?"

"Of course, 'I, the slave, are to serve under my master, forever and always.'"

"I, the master, shall provide and care for his slave.'" Kakuzu added.

"'Should either leave the house, the other should follow.'" They recited in unison now, "'Or else both face punishment.'"

"But Kakuzu- what about Atari?" Deidara sighed.

"Atari is no longer my slave as he has become a master. In all my years here, and you know my age, not a single person has escaped- unscathed..." Kakuzu replied.

"You've got five hearts..." he pouted in response.

"And you have only one." The miser pushed off the wall and sat down on the bed as well.

"Well... you can come with me...?" The boy sounded hopeful now.

"No- money is everything to me and you know that. You are wanting me to accompany you on a wild goose chase... it wastes valuable time I could use to make money."

"I don't want to just sit here while Sasori-"

"Sasori left you, Dei- just as Sara did. Move on!" Kakuzu was beginning to lose his patience.

"That's different though! Sara(1) told me she hated me and now, every time- thank the gods the chances are rare- she and I meet, she tries to kill me." Kakuzu looked surprised and he continued, "Sasori though... he didn't blame me." Deidara looked down and away now.

Kakuzu opened his mouth as if to say something, but the door slammed open and Sara(1) entered. She didn't look too happy and Deidara and Kakuzu stood at attention.

"You both are planning to leave?" She held that familiar hint of authority.

"Yes, Sara-sama." Kakuzu groaned, Deidara had just decided his fate for him.

"Hmm... business is booming now... I suppose that would be fine. Although- from what Suki has told me, I will allow you time to yourselves and once I need you I will have Atari send you a message."

"Please don't let him send his usual self-destructing notes!" Kakuzu growled, last time Atari had sent one he had to pay for the damages.

"No promises. However... what to do about Hidan?" Sara began to stroke her chin in thought.

This made Kakuzu freeze involuntarily and Deidara noticed. He too began to think.

"Can Atari handle him?" Deidara suggested.

"No... you remember our conversation when Hidan first came here, right, Dei-chan?"

"Um... yeah, I believe so."

"I'll handle him until you two return."

"So you're caving?" Deidara smirked suddenly, "Hidan won't like to hear that..."

"Just get out!" Sara sulked, acting childish then left the room.

_End Flashback_

"And that's when I parted with Kakuzu so I could look for you while he returned to bounty hunting." Deidara explained, curled in a ball with Sasori's arm wrapped protectively and possessively around him. "Of course, I soon needed to find a new way to get by and that's how I became a terrorist." He finished then gasped.

Sasori had gotten bored with the story and decided to tease his love. His lips trailed from the sensitive and soft neck to his bare chest. He'd recently started sleeping in the nude and he moaned when Sasori licked his right nipple. Sasori smirked and his hands made their way below to Deidara's masculine waist. He suddenly began to miss the blonde's former shape. It was so slim and unused to fighting as often as they did now. It came as a shock to Sasori when Deidara revealed his age- Sasori never thought a minor could be so good with his hands. '_Then again... Deidara's hands aren't normal..._' Sasori thought to himself, reaching for a hand to stroke and lie kisses upon.

"Mmm... how long do you think Kakuzu and Hidan's mission'll take? Ah!" Deidara had begun to ask as Sasori headed for the prize, licking the tip of his blond's glorious member.

"Dunno... a week? Why?" Sasori said this all while playing with Deidara's erection.

"Plenty of time then..." Deidara panted out.

"For what?" Sasori was curious but it didn't stop him from moving his tongue to his entrance.

"UN! Ah!- T-two things..." Deidara was begging for a lovely fuck, however managed to continued his explanation, "For Hidan and Kakuzu to wake up and see the cherubs and for us- unh!- to use Kakuzu's to- y-ashit!" Sasori had shoved his member in the saliva-coated entrance.

"Toys? Damn... I guess he... really... is ah! Old perv." Sasori panted before climaxing within the other male.

~~ :3 ~~

Meanwhile, at Crescent Moon docks, Kakuzu sneezes- '_Damn... must've caught Hidan's cold...'_

_

* * *

_Okay, I return to the KakuHida chap now, ne? Atari and Suki are staying and it makes me happy- no sudden changes in my plans = slightly faster process. -sneezes- Thanks a lot, Hidan. TT^TT *blows nose*

By the way (1) Two different Saras are mentioned- one is Dei's ex, the other is their boss.


	10. Part Two E

**16. Confession – Beg for It**

Hidan awoke late in the afternoon to find himself wrapped within Kakuzu's strong tan arms, his head pressed close to his heart. Hidan's eyes widened in shock for the first few moments before they closed again in bliss and he nuzzled closer. He knew now how he felt about this man and was certain nothing would ever change these feelings he had been dreading for the past eight years. He began to listen to Kakuzu's gentle breathing and once it began to change and he began to stir, Hidan exhaled in disappointment and acted as though he was still sleeping soundly.

"Ugh... what time's'it?" Kakuzu mumbled to no one in particular after sitting up, removing his warmth from Hidan.

"Noon..." Hidan answered with a yawn, stretching and bumping Kakuzu's back.

Kakuzu froze, tense, at the contact, unsure if he wanted to hide, pummel, or keep the ashy flesh against his own tan skin. He stood calmly and walked over to the desk and his money. They would be docking sometime around four and that left him only four hours until the mission would really begin. He recalled the night before last, when Hidan had murmured his feelings in his sleep. Although it made Kakuzu happy, he was doubting he heard it right and doubting whether it would last. Considering his luck, probably only the four hours they had remaining would be good.

Uzui had brought lunch and dinner to their room yesterday since Hidan still found himself too sick to walk. So far, he was certain that Hidan didn't yet know about how Kakuzu would wrap an arm around the lithe body once said body lost consciousness in order to succumb to dreamland.

"Oi, Kakuzu! I'm fuckin hungry!" Hidan whined.

"I'll go get your sis-"

"No fucking thanks. I can walk perfectly fine now, bastard. I could've walked around yesterday as well if it wasn't for your stubborn ass wanting me to rest unnecessarily." Kakuzu's eye twitched at this; '_That little bitch..._' thought he.

"Alright then, get your own damn food!" Kakuzu snarled. Hidan flinched but soon recovered only to shout back, "Fine, mother fucker! I fucking will!" He stood up abruptly and stopped just as he was about to turn the knob.

"Need money?" Kakuzu laughed.

"No, I don't, ass-fucker." Hidan cried out, slamming the door shut behind as he stormed out.

He continued to walk around in attempt to tame his befuddled and raging thoughts. He calmed enough and began to people-watch. He knit his eyebrows, a feeling telling him a number of them should bring familiarity to him, but alas, Hidan gave up just as the feeling came. He sighed and headed for the restaurant where his sister was advertising just outside the doors. She spotted him and waved him over. He trotted up to her, having nothing better to do.

"I see you're awake and well. Are you hungry?" She asked with a smile very unlike her as she greeted the passengers.

"I was when I woke up... Now though, I just feel like walking around..." He sighed in reply.

"Your boyfriend seems like a very nice man... although father's not going to be happy."

"One; I don't give a fucking damn about what that... not a word I know can describe him... thinks of my choice. It's his own fault for trying so hard- he's the one that sent me to a whorehouse of fagots and I got raped by a woman- not a man." Hidan began a rant and his sister sighed, only half listening, "I love cock- got a problem withit?" He finished not long after, beginning to get defensive. Even Uzui knew better than to mess with him in this mood and shook her head, "and secondly?" she urged.

This is where Hidan fell silent, looking down and away, a pink hue dancing across his cheeks. She noticed and snickered. This earned her a growl and Hidan spat, "And two; Kakuzu is not my boyfriend. Three; he's not fucking nice, he's fucking-"

"You?" Hidan jumped at that all-too-familiar, playful tone.

"No! HE'S A FUCKING ASSHOLE!" Hidan snarled at Suki whom laughed in response, "Yes, he is fucking ass- yours~" He sang.

"No-he-is-not!" Hidan's younger sister sighed, mumbling something about having to return to work and headed in the restaurant.

"But you want him to, don't you?" Suki grinned, holding his hand out to Hidan. "Let's go play. The pool is really nice, love."

"Don't fucking call me that, and no, I don't want to fuckin' play with you- you have Atari for that." Hidan snapped, beginning to walk away. Suki followed close behind.

"I actually have something really important to ask you about that." Suki mumbled receiving a quizzical look from the one before him. "I'm... still a virgin..."

This answer caused Hidan to stop abruptly. Suki nearly went down with him.

"Okay, I know from experience that's bullshit." Hidan scoffed, turning to loom over his old friend.

"Not counting our first ritual!" Suki cried out, redder than a cherry. "Atari doesn't even touch me..."

"Atari? _The _Atari, one of the most slutty-"

"Don't insult danna!" Suki snapped, looking regretful when Hidan recoiled.

"You love him, don't you?" Hidan spoke softly, expression for once matching his angelic appearance.

"That's what I wanted to ask you... what do you think love is?"

"It depends... there are lots of different kinds of love..." Hidan looked thoughtful, "What is your opinion?"

"I see... well... I think it's an emotion that brings lots of the ones I have been feeling anytime I'm around Atari-danna." Suki paused. "I'm always blushing around him. My heart races at the thought of him. When he's with another person... I'm suddenly enraged. It's jealousy... have you ever felt these things about anyone?"

"Fuck no!" Hidan laughed, yet Suki sighed, calling his bluff but saying nothing about it.

"Whatever... I'd better get back to Atari-danna... I've finally got my own student..." Suki mumbled and his voice, usually so sweet, held a shade of venom at the mention of his student.

"Heh, he's expecting you, a self-proclaimed virgin, to teach a newbie some tricks?" Hidan began to head back to the room.

"Whoever said I was expected to teach him tricks... as you said; Atari is a slut. Anyways- tell Kakuzu that we said hi and we'll soon cross paths. Make sure you tell him how ya really feel, my one and only seme." Suki laughed, skipping away before Hidan could hit him.

Hidan was now pissed, marching straight back to their room to find it packed and empty. He felt his heart stop, looking around, thinking himself abandoned. His heart began to race though, at the sound of footsteps approaching. He was sitting on the bed when the door opened and Kakuzu stood, a brown paper bag in hand. He said nothing, shuffling over to the expectant man. He sat on the bed as well, handing him the bag and it's tantalizing goodies. Hidan looked up from examining the edible contents of it, right into Kakuzu's odd-colored eyes.

"I figured you were still hungry... not having any money and all." Kakuzu flushed behind his mask, gazing into the magenta eyes of the one he was beginning to love.

"Hai... arigatou..." Hidan mumbled, also blushing only he had no mask to veil it.

"We'll be docking soon and then we'll get a hotel, part ways to carry out our mission, and then return here in about two days time. Eat up." Kakuzu replied.

He made a move to get up, but Hidan grabbed his arm with his free hand. He put the bag of food on the floor by the bed and scoot closer to the man whom had his heartbeats racing. 'Fucking hearts...' thought he when Hidan heard a noise, but it wasn't the hearts, it was a knock at the door. Hidan scowled and shouted,

"Suki, Atari, Sister, sister's brat, whoever you are, go the fuck away!" This caught Kakuzu's attention and the person replied.

"The ship'll be docking-" Uzui started.

"You've got an hour to beg him!" Suki laughed.

At this, Hidan fumed, turning dark red and crossing his arms. Kakuzu watched him pout, upset that he had let go, but also curious. Hidan reached down for the food and pulled out a burger. Kakuzu waited patiently while Hidan finished off his food before he popped the question.

"Beg who for what now?" Kakuzu asked just as the one in question was sipping on the soda. He did a spit take.

"Wha--! N-nothing, Kakuzu!"

He reached to wipe his mouth, but Kakuzu stopped him. The magenta eyes widened further when the green and red ones got closer, a tan hand reaching up and gently wiping the liquid.

"Tell me, Hidan..." He breathed, Hidan's burning cheeks cooled by the breeze.

"Um... I... fuck um... I love... d-damnit..." Hidan struggled for words a bit longer and Kakuzu's smirk only grew.

The older man began to pull away, unsurprised when Hidan pulled him back. He looked up with pleading eyes, already suspecting Kakuzu knew. He was shocked when strong tan arms shot for his neck. He choked out.

"Hidan... say it, or I won't help you after I finish choking you." Kakuzu growls softly, he admits it- he is just as impatient as Sasori... well... maybe not as much...

Hidan said nothing, his face twisted in a pleasurable pain, he was giggling. His back hit the bed and Kakuzu hovered above him, pushing him into the bed. Hidan gasped, reaching up for Kakuzu's face and the dominating pulled back, releasing his hold on that lovely neck.

"Fuck! Just fuck me!" Hidan snapped then his expression shifted and he smirked before putting on a look that made Kakuzu's blood flow south in a heartbeat- five times... what the gray-hair said next broke the barrier Kakuzu had erected for so long. "I'm begging _you _to _fuck _me because I _love you_!"

Kakuzu snapped, ripping the shirt from Hidan. The smug smile grew on the latter and he spread his legs. It was now obvious the two cared for each other at least somewhat. Enough for the larger to have his hands ghost the younger's waist as he went to nuzzle the crook of his neck, hiding his face from view. Hidan didn't mind that- too entranced in the feel of him, the nip on the skin he couldn't see. He moaned out, his erection from the early choking aflame. 'Impatient little bitch...' was Kakuzu's thought as he pulled his face from the crook of the neck, his right hand pulling the pants of, revealing his goal.

"Hmm... roll over- you want me to fuck you so badly. You insist that you can't wait..." he instructed, watching the other follow his orders.

Hidan rolled onto his stomach and Kakuzu helped to pull his hips up so he rested on his knees and elbows. Kakuzu exhaled slowly, he couldn't believe he was going to risk Hidan seeing him. He slipped his own hard-on from his ever-tightening pants and boxers and pressed it to Hidan's dry entrance. He recalled Deidara mentioning his masochistic style, which suited him all-too-well. He slowly made his way in, clenching his teeth at the tight fit. Hidan was quite the opposite, crying out in pleasure and when he tried to move to look at his love, the love forced his face to the pillow. They panted heavily- 'Hidan is definitely out of practice.' Kakuzu thought when Hidan tensed suddenly, uncomfortable at first. He only shrugged though and pulled out a bit before hastily thrusting in, making Hidan howl in pleasure.

"Did I get it?" Kakuzu asked with a breathless laugh as he prepared for the next thrust.

Hidan could only nod and mumble into the pillow seconds before he was pound into once more. A few more thrusts at this pace, blood flowed and the pace increased. Kakuzu was getting close and he wrapped his hand around his new uke's member. Hidan began to writhe, moaning out and throwing back his head. After a particularly hard thrust in, his felt a spasm make it's way along his body and white spurted on his stomach and the blankets below. Kakuzu groaned at the sudden reaction, his walls closing around his own pulsing member and he released within. Kakuzu's hand, having also been near Hidan's orgasm, trailed through the substance, bringing it to Hidan's hip as Kakuzu pulled out, a mix of blood and come leaking from the abused hole.

Hidan's panting began to slow as he began to doze, forgetting the other presence in the bed. Kakuzu was panting as well, admiring his work before pulling his pants up and spooning his new lover.

**17. An New Face (Literally)**

The two new partners were abruptly awakened from their short nap when the horn sounded, signaling they had arrived at Crescent Moon Island. Kakuzu groaned, rolling out of bed and waited for Hidan to do the same. Hidan sat up, yawned, and stretched quite a bit, the covers exposing his glory to Kakuzu. The man approached the bed, wrapping his arms around the sleepy individual.

"Mmm, ready for your first mission?" Kakuzu murmured against the Jashinist's ear.

"Ah, y-yeah... um... do we really have to part ways?"

"I'm afraid we might have to at some points if we plan on succeeding."

Hidan sighed, closing his eyes, letting the tan man provide a warm comfort to him. They sprung apart when an urgent knock sounded at the door. Kakuzu grabbed his bags and tossed Hidan his previously discarded clothes. Hidan struggled to dress and winced as a once-familiar pain shot up his back end. Kakuzu noticed this but roughly pulled Hidan to his feet. He helped to dress the fuming male then handed him his bags before rushing him out the door, off the ship, and onto the crowded docks just as the ship began to depart.

They made their way through the crowds and Kakuzu took out a slip of paper from Sara's envelope. Hidan struggled to keep up and once Kakuzu felt a tug at his cloak, he turned to see his partner clinging to him. He shrugged and began searching for the hotel with the name matching that of the hotel on the paper. Once they had found it Hidan hovered nearby his partner whom was doing the negotiation. He froze when he spotted a young boy with white hair and violent violet eyes. Those eyes met his magenta ones and he ignored Kakuzu's call for him to follow.

The boy looked away first, as if he had been called, and in the blink of an eye, was gone. Hidan was frowning, confused in a stupor. He snapped out of it when something collided with the back of his head. He whirled to glare at the retreating figure. He rolled his eyes and followed his partner, which was impatient to get his precious money. Hidan huffed up the two flights of glorious (& long-as-fuck _in Hidan's opinion_) stairs to get to their room. Hidan's eye twitched at the hotel's choice of decorum.

"What the fuck is with this trip! It's lovey-dovey everywhere I look!" He panted having arrived on the second floor.

"Good thing we won't be in the room often enough for you to bitch and whine more." Kakuzu said as the arrived at mentioned room.

Upon opening the door, Hidan's eyes widened and he ran in. Kakuzu followed more slowly, slightly stunned. Hidan turned back to look at him with pleading eyes.

"Kakuzu~ Are you sure we can't stay?" He plead, looking around the black room.

"Maybe at night, Hidan..." Kakuzu said slowly, admiring the chains on the wall and imagining the fun they could have.

"Ah, Shit!" he turned from the chains at the sound of Hidan's startled exclamation. "What's wrong?"

"This side of the bed is like my old one! It has spikes!" Hidan grinned and the elder rolled his eyes.

"You stay here while I go out and look around for a few hot spots." Kakuzu exhaled slowly and returned to the hallway.

"Fine, fucker- go ahead and leave. Bring something to eat back with ya though!" Hidan called out before his partner closed the door.

Kakuzu continued down the store, mumbling to himself about his partner's lazy personality. He left the hotel and out onto the bustling streets of tourists. He poked around a few casinos and other hotels and inns. He picked a few pockets and found he already had a good start. When he came to a particular pocket, he pulled out something that made him look up.

"A condom in your back pocket... Really, Atari?"

"Well, I would put in the front pocket, Kakuzu, if it wasn't for the _money_ there." He sneered, bumping Kakuzu playfully.

" Hey, I go for what's easier- you wouldn't believe the easy picks around here. My mission will be done all-too-soon."

"That leaves you with free time then? How about you take a break now and join me at the bar, love?" Atari nudged him in the ribs with his elbow a few times.

"Don't think so- Hidan sounded pretty hungry. You know Hidan and can probably imagine what would happen if I don't hurry." It was at Atari's smirk that alerted him of the mistake.

"Hidan, hmm? Whatever happened to Deidara? Too much time with the wood- I thought you always helped him with that."

Kakuzu made a swipe at him but he jumped out of the way too soon, crashing into someone. Kakuzu rolled his eyes and headed to a nearby stand. Atari recovered and slipped through the crowd to join him at his side.

"You know that hotel you're staying at, love? I'm surprised you haven't taken much notice of it. You haven't left, been struck with joy, haven't even thought of who you used to bring here or why you brought them." Atari whispered as Kakuzu asked for some simple treats from the man over the counter.

"Are you referring to the fact that it is another one of Sara's special buildings," Kakuzu turned with the food in hand and started to walk away, "or that it is where the masters go with their newest 'products' to get to know them?"

"Both and- it serves another purpose; Training the new whores."

Kakuzu paused, "Why should that matter to me at the current time?"

"Suki's training someone and went to go ask Hidan for help. And his student happens to be someone you know."

"Leave Hidan alone- he's had enough of Sara's games and so have I." He turned away, missing Atari's evil grin.

Hidan huffed, turning on his side of the bed, letting the dull spikes scratch at him. He wouldn't normally do this, however he wanted to greet Kakuzu with a treat of his own. His writhing stopped when a knock on the door was heard. Hidan scowled and rolled off the bed to approach the door. It opened before he got there revealing a mirror. Hidan froze yet the reflection kept moving, even grinning crookedly. As the figure continued to approach and enter the room, Hidan took a step back with every step forward.

"Who the fuck are you?" Hidan growled.

"Where is Kakuzu?" the boy asked, ignoring Hidan's question.

"What do you want With him?!" Hidan snapped.

"Ku-chan~, don't bother Kakuzu's new boy toy." Suki's voice came from behind Hidan.

"Who is this, Suki?" Hidan whirled to face Suki, his bored expression caught him off-guard for a bit.

"Kuro- my new student... I promised Atari you would help me with his training today." Suki paused, looking down and smirked, "Looks like you've already started."

Hidan growled, face red before Kuro snuck behind him, wrapping his arms around his waist.

"I told Atari you'd be unwilling. However he said that's just what Ku-chan needed..." Hidan noticed Suki's dislike of the nickname. '_Atari must've given this kid that nickname then._' was what he thought... not '_Oh shit, I'm screwed and gonna get screwed. Rape!_' A silent plea escaped Suki and Hidan nodded before wriggling from Kuro's grasp and kicking his tenders. He only flinched.

"Alright Kuro- show Atari-danna that you can be persuasive and you'll be on your way and out of his hair."

"Heh- I dunno, Suki-_senpai, _you don't actually _do _anyone- _you'd_ be out of his _hair_ and_ I'll_ still be in his _pants_."

"Bastard, you are annoying as fuck- this coming from me!" Hidan held Suki back and faced the overconfident twerp.

Hidan was putting up a good front. Suki tried to tell him something, but was being ignored. Hidan's defensive position faltered when the other kid's form began to shift. He got taller and his skin became tan. His white hair turned black and his eye's turned green. Suki gripped Hidan's wrist and pulled him past the other and out the door. Hidan struggled to keep up with Suki's fast pace. His lower back still sore from the cruise this morning.

They slowed to a stop in an alley way and Hidan plopped down on a nearby box. Suki propped himself up against a wall. They took a few minutes to catch their breath before Hidan finally broke the steady rhythm of breath.

"Who- no... what was that?" He panted.

"That was his jutsu- I would tell you what the results are... but he put a seal on me." Suki replied bitterly.

"That bastard's gonna die- nobody messes with a Jashinist. Especially not my significant." Hidan stood. (imagine a kind of super hero stance unlike Hidan's character {insert laugh})

"Hidan..." Suki's eyes were wide, "You haven't called me that in years! Jashin damnit, man, why the fuck do you start now?!" He pouted and Hidan laughed, "Okay, okay... I was just trying to be dramatic, little bitch."

Kakuzu continued to the hotel room. Atari stalked him, albeit noticeable and clumsy. He found Hidan under the covers, completely and sighed, setting the food in the mini-fridge and slamming the door in his tail's face. The lump on the bed stirred and Kakuzu sat on him. The lump groaned and began to flail making Kakuzu chuckle and move over.

"Wake up, Hidan- I brought you food."

"Not hungry." His voice sounded off.

"Are you okay?" Kakuzu reached a hand under the covers and placed it against his forehead. "You don't have a feve-" He stopped when Hidan grabbed his hand.

"Where have you been, danna?" A voice similar to Deidara's came from under the blankets.

"Kuro... that's not funny- where's Hidan?" Kakuzu jumped to his feet, yanking back the covers to reveal a good imitation Hidan.

"Aww~ How'd you know?" the imposter pouted with a face much like Hidan's, "I even got to see the original not moments ago. I was sure to study him extra careful-like. I should've taken his face after all."

"Kuro- your jutsu is flawed. Hidan's hair is gray- but it also has a lavender tint to it. His eyes are also much more bright and pinkish after sex. Not to mention the skin tone's dull and off." Kakuzu listed and as the list grew, Kuro's anger did- tenfold.

"Jeez! You're just as stingy as ever!" He snapped, sitting up ramrod straight.

"Where is Hidan?" Kakuzu growled again.

There was a rapid rapping on the door and Kakuzu turned from the intruder to glare at the door. He opened his mouth to tell the to "Fuck off" just as two fingers jabbed at his neck and he collapsed, looking up at a perfect clone of himself. 'Damn you, Kuro!' Kakuzu mouthed, earning a queer grin from the attacker's poorly stitched jaw.

"All that time working with you in the Akatsuki has gotten me quite a bit of practice at your form." The imposter grinned, taking off Kakuzu's head gear and placing it over his own head.

"ALRIGHT YOU MOTHER FUCKER!" Hidan shouted, bursting through the door just as Kakuzu was about to tackle Kuro. Hidan froze in the doorway upon seeing Kakuzu (imposter) and an uncanny look-a-like with a stitched face (Kakuzu) about to fight.

"Whaa~?"

"Hidan, there you are- I have your food in the mini-fridge- just let me take out the trash." the masked imposter's voice matching Kakuzu's perfectly. Only Kakuzu noticed the hint of a deceptive purr.

Hidan's brain shut down and watched his partner drag the struggling stitched man from the room. His eyes connected with the man's and he wanted to tell the masked man to stop but words wouldn't come. The door slammed shut and moments later, Kakuzu (imposter) reappeared and ruffled his hair. This unfroze Hidan and they went to the fridge.

"Shit!" Suki cursed under his breath at seeing Kakuzu locked out of the room and handed to an eagerly awaiting Atari. "I have to get Deidara's help now..." he whispered to himself and ducked around the corner when Atari heard him. Once all was clear... POOF. Gone.

_~Flashback~ Pointless... or is it? Kuro's Time in the Akatsuki_

I pouted; it was my first day of the Akatsuki and I was waiting for the leader to make his appearance. I looked around the empty living room. A pair of men with long hair (both with ponytails) crept from the hallways, the blonde yakking the raven's ear off.

"So, have you ever had a girlfriend, Uchiha?" the blonde asked the other.

"No."

"Boyfriend?"

"...No."

"Lover?"

".......no"

"Shark boy toy?"

"Kisame's older than me, hn."

"Ah-ha! So Kakuzu-danna was right! Un." That blonde was loud. "I swear- he's like a match-maker or somethin', hmm."

"Shut up, wood-lover." the 'Uchiha' grumbled.

"Better than a fish-lover." the blonde flinched when the other turned to glare at him, "Ah- b-b-but... umm... Oh look, a new member!"

I didn't appreciate being used as his scapegoat and I glared from behind my veil. He snuck out of the room and the other soon departed as well at the sound of a nearby door slamming. A ginger with far too many piercings appeared. Such a lovely face- lovely eyes- ruined by those metal distractions. The man behind him, however, was another story. If I had a mouth it would be open in awe. He was tan and although he kept a mask over his face- I knew there was good reason and that only increased the value of his face. After all, I wore a veil to hide the fact I had no face.

"You are Kuro, correct?" The pierced man asked me and I noticed the other's green irises narrow in distaste.

I gave a nod in reply to who I understood to be the leader.

"Kakuzu, your partner here, will accompany you if you still want a face."

I nod again, eager this time. That blasted curse had taken it's toll on me and claimed my oh-so-beautiful face.

My first day on the hunt for a face, we had done fairly well. Not a single threat exchanged between us. We arrived at a brothel of sorts and we waited in the trees surrounding the clearing. A few handsome faces appeared.

"Do you really take their face or...?" Kakuzu began then recalled I had no mouth. I pulled back my veil and he was unaffected. I reached to pull his mask off but he froze, backing away a bit. I reached forward once more and succeeded. I wove hand signs and soon had green irises and a messed up jaw (it was my first try, after all), but I could talk and that was all I wanted.

"I just admire their face for awhile and can usually take their appearance. The longer I know'em the better they are and the longer I can keep the faces. If I actually take a face though... I'll have that face forever." I explained in a distorted version of his voice.

"Then a request, perhaps?" Kakuzu's gaze was now trained to a particular male in the clearing with a blonde and a cloaked figure. He had- from what I could see from so far in the blinding sunlight- white hair and violent violet eyes. I noticed his skin was also slightly pale.

"That albino-looking one? I warn you- it won't be exact, but I can give it a try."

We returned to base and I was now sporting my brand new mask. I spotted the blonde- whom I learned was named Deidara- sitting in the living room with his partner- a redhead puppet master named Sasori. Deidara ran to greet Kakuzu but froze when he spotted my face. His blue eyes widened and he took a step closer to admire my face.

"Kakuzu... who is this, hmm? Why does he look like-"

"It doesn't matter, Deidara, now leave us be." Kakuzu growled, leading me to his room. {this is a base, not HQ like you've all read- seperate rooms- only Saso, Dei, Kaku, and Kuro there}

That night I got to see Kakuzu naked. I didn't mind- hell, I loved it. I could tell he was just using my ability though. Just like everyone else. He wanted the person whose identity I had borrowed- not the real me.

We were sent on a mission and I was betrayed. He sold me out because I said something to him about that albino. I had insulted the one known as Hidan and was punished for it. That is how I came to the brothel soon after Hidan had left and I was now staying in the room with said man... alone.

_ ~Revenge will be sweet~_

_ ~That pretty little face will be mine for good~_

_ ~I'd love to see Kakuzu's downfall after being used and abused~_

_

* * *

  
_

_**What is in store for our precious and fresh couple? How can Hidan not know which is his love?**_

=_= I hope this was good and in case you haven't yet realized... I don't really have an outline or rough draft for this story so where it goes depends on my mood. I assure you it will stop being confusing once I finish a few more chapters. Next to come is a bit of SasoDei aka Part One. I'm glad my Spring Break has started.


	11. Part One E

**18. Trunk of Devious Fun**

Deidara led Sasori to Kakuzu's deserted room after their nice lovemaking. Sasori waited, his eyes trained to the blonde as he maneuvered around the room with familiarity. He opened the black wardrobe in the corner of the room and began rooting around the top shelf. Moments later he pulled down a decent-sized trunk and began to drag it over to Sasori. He grabbed a key from Kakuzu's desk, unlocked the trunk and they grinned sadistically at its contents.

"Um... wow... I only recognize a few of these..." Sasori said, plucking a whip from within.

"I think he even added some since-" He stopped, recalling that Sasori got jealous easily.

"Since...?" Sasori prompted darkly, raising the whip.

"B-back at the brothel- hm..." Deidara laughed nervously, putting on a cute face as he reached back into the box.

"Ooo! Handcuffs! Yeah?" Sasori nodded with a smirk, returning the whip to it's rightful place and taking the handcuffs. "Since you just recently lost your virginity- I say this'll be enough... un, definitely enough." Deidara smiled, laying on Kakuzu's bed and placing his hands against the headboard.

Sasori grinned sadistically and seductively, moving over the blonde, placing a knee on each side of Deidara's hips. Deidara shivered in anticipation when he felt the cold metal clasp around his wrists. Sasori began to kiss and nip his way past Deidara's lips, his neck, back up, down to stay at the neck, pause. Sasori withdrew, earning a pout from the uke handcuffed to the bed. He returned the pout with a smile as he let his stomach cable loose. Deidara shuddered lightly at the feel of cold metal grazing his ever-heating skin as it slipped under the simple shirt he had worn for the sake of them leaving the room.

_ ~**rip**~_

Sasori let the scraps of cloth fall to the bed before returning to ravish his lover's neck and torso. Said lover began to moan and squirm when he took it a bit further, his finger hooking the waistband on the restrained male's pants. He whined when Sasori pulled away and moved to the end of the bed. He couldn't see the redhead searching through the trunk's other devilish contents. He pulled out a blind fold and walked over to the head of the bed to tie it around a slightly confused yet anxious Deidara. Once the blindfold was on, he returned to the box. He found a pack of condoms, more lube of different varieties, a lot of stuff he'd never even heard of, and what looked like a few... dildos? Sasori blushed, but then recovered, returning to the blonde. He grabbed a random lubricant and applied it to Deidara's heat earning a blissful moan.

"DeiDei- how much can you take?" Sasori whispered lustfully, replacing his fingers with the only normal/ordinary dildo he could find in Kakuzu's Trunk of Devious Fun.

Deidara didn't understand the puppet's question but this mattered not to his partner as he inched the toy in ever so slowly. Deidara moaned, trying to pull his wrists free to entangle his fingers in the familiar red locks. He was caught off guard when the object embedded in him began to vibrate. He cried out, loving it more when Sasori placed his lips around his tip and began to lick and suck as he thrust in and out with the toy.

"AH, D-DANNA!"

"Shh, Dei~"

"P-please, I'd much rath-ah! Ha... ah-ve you i-in me, un!" Deidara moaned, tears leaking from his eyes, soaking the blindfold. "And... I w-want to see your fa-ace."

Sasori said nothing, releasing Deidara with a soft _pop_. He soon turned off the toy and replaced it with himself. He thrust in quickly, moan escaping cum the blonde's. The lubrication from earlier and stretching from the toy helped. He pulled out briefly before he thrust back in. A rhythm continued and Sasori still hadn't removed the blindfold- but that had completely escaped Deidara's mind as he cried out, distracted by the immense pleasure he felt. The rhythm was beginning to break down with orgasms looming when...

_POOF! _"HOLY JASHIN, GUYS! I can't believe you started without me!"

The two stopped abruptly and Sasori quickly covered himself and his partner with Kakuzu's bed covers and turned to snap at the intruder.

"Who the fuck are you and why are you here?!"

"Wow, puppet-dude... You don't remember me, Suki? Someone that deceived you only days ago?" Suki laughed, plopping on the bed next to a flailing Deidara.

"Suki, what the hell are you doing here? Sasori- let me go so I can strangle the bastard, UN!" Suki laughed and pulled off the blindfold. He tapped a finger to the keyhole of the handcuffs and they clicked open.

"Uh, How did you-"

"Atari... um... It's an escape jutsu I was taught in case a client were to try and take advantage of me..." Suki tensed when he spoke his danna's name but recovered before the redhead would notice. Deidara noticed- but he was pissed and hard.

"What the FUCK do you want, hmm!? Can't you see we were busy?"

"Ah, go ahead and finish... I suppose telling you Kakuzu's dead would be easier than, 'Hey, wanna go save Hidan from making the worst decision in his life and leading Kakuzu to his demise?' Clearly this is far more important though so I'll leave you-"

"Wait, what decision?" Sasori asked, snatching his and Deidara's discarded pants- ignoring his hard-on.

"Kuro and Atari have been planning it for awhile but I didn't think Atari would actually go through with it... it's all that bastard, Kuro's fault... fuck!" Suki started cursing to himself.

"Woah, what? Go through with what, hmm?" Deidara sat up properly, placing his hands on Suki's shoulders, forcing the other blond to look at him.

"You know how Atari is obsessed with Kuzu-sama, right?" Deidara nodded but before Suki could continue, Sasori asked, "You mentioned Kuro... as in Kakuzu's deceased and former partner?"

"Kuzu-sama never had the heart to kill him so he actually just sold him to some illegal slave-drivers on Crescent Island that happened to be Sara's daughter-in-law's men and-"

"Who cares- what is the scheme?" Deidara interjected the long-winded explanation.

"Atari wants Kakuzu and Kuro want revenge!" Suki exclaimed, exasperated. "I'll explain on the way- but we hafta hurry and stop Hidan from falling for Kuro!"

* * *

D: What? This is so f-in short! And a cliffhanger? What took you so long?!

Ja, ne... next is Part 2 focus- thought I'd throw in some SasoDei before things risk getting out-of-hand and confusing as f.

Things will be explained in next chapter... if not then the one after... From my poll I've gathered KisaIta is the most popular so far so I want to rush this one along a bit... maybe... dunno... I'm hoping I find some sort of conclusion.... *listening to Down with the Sickness* Such a lovely song to be writing yaoi to... -_-;

Ja, the next part is definitely rushed through....*facepalm**headdesk*


	12. Part Two F

**19. The Deceitful Plot**

Hidan was about to open the fridge when two strong arms wrapped around his waist, holding him back. He turned to shoot a curious look up at his partner.

"What the fuck do you want? I'm fuckin' starved!" He pouted as Kakuzu nuzzled his face into the other's shoulder.

"Mmn, I want a permanent face as lovely as yours." He purred- Hidan tensed a bit.

"Was that supposed to be some sort of pick-up line?"

"Did it sound like one?"

"Ummm..."

"Then yes, it was." He breathed against the smaller male's ear, dragging him over to the bed.

"I wonder... have you seen what's under my mask?" Kakuzu spoke into Hidan's clavicle (collarbone).

"Of course not, shit-head! You fuckin' choked me each time I tried to find out. Now I realize I honestly don't give a fuck so long as I get one." He replied with a shaky laugh.

"Do you know how old I am?"

"No, do you know how old I am?"

"Just guess..."

"Forty-something? Now guess mine!" Hidan smirked.

"Twenty- And you are way off."

Hidan was about to retort but was confused when his partner pulled back. He looked up at him, curious, innocent.

"You claim to know me yet know nothing about me."

'_But you never let me learn things about you!_' Hidan wanted to protest but Kakuzu's odd expression and aura kept him silent.

"You are worthless and nothing but a decent fuck." Hidan's eyes widened in surprise and Kakuzu continued, "Your face is being wasted- You are the reason I was sold." Hidan's cocked a brow, utterly confused. "I want your face- then he'll be all mine, but first..."

–

A scream echoed throughout the empty floor of the hotel.

–

"That sounded like Hidan! Let me go, Atari!" Kakuzu snarled at his former companion from the whorehouse.

"Why should I? Kuro's just doing as I instructed. You would only get in the way, love." Atari sighed, pulling his face close to Kakuzu's.

"What are you plotting?" Kakuzu snapped.

"Well, I want you, to tell the truth." Atari started.

"Why leave Kuro alone with Hidan though?"

"Well... you love Hidan and therefore... he is an obstacle to be removed- Kuro is just the one to remove him." Atari explains, all the while rubbing against Kakuzu.

"Hidan is immortal." Kakuzu simply says.

"There is no thing as complete immortality- but who said I wanted him dead? Kuro wants revenge, Kakuzu-danna. He blames Hidan for the fate you had given him. If you hadn't used the poor kid for his false face, he might never have been lured into a false sense of security. Of course, I suspect he plans on using Hidan's face against you... that's why I'm offering you protection. Come with me back to the brothel and make all the money you want while having someone like me at your side for _anything._" Atari whispered seductively in Kakuzu's ear. Kakuzu shivered involuntarily.

–

A scream resounded through the hall of the hotel.

–

"Shit- We're coming, Hidan!" Suki rushed ahead of Deidara and Sasori to the door of Hidan and Kakuzu's suite.

He froze at the sight. Deidara and Sasori entered the room, passing Suki then noticing a figure looking over the bed. The figure took no notice of them, his hand inches from Hidan's face; a face frozen in terror on a stripped (naked) body. Deidara shouted, throwing a clay spider near the figure. The figure started and cursed, rushing past the three at the door just before the clay exploded.

–

A scream followed an explosion in the hall of the hotel.

–

Kakuzu sighed, looking sadly down at Atari's unconscious form.

"Sorry, you forced my hand..." He sighed again then perked up at the sound of his love's voice from the doorway.

"Oi, Kakuzu, you shit- so weak letting that heathen drag you out." Hidan laughed, moving closer to Kakuzu whom backed away.

"Don't look at-"

"Your stitches? I don't give a fuck."

Kakuzu started and glared suspiciously at Hidan, searching for any of the slightest flaws. He saw none and smiled, wrapping his arms around the Jashinist. Said Jashinist hugged back and buried his face in Kakuzu's shoulder.

"How much do you love me?" Hidan mumbled.

"Very much." Kakuzu replied.

He didn't notice him tense in anger.

"Then fuck me now." He mumbled again.

–

All was silent save the sound of footsteps on a floor of the hotel.

–

Deidara bursts into the room first to find Kakuzu's lips locked with Hidan's. The real Hidan stormed past, half naked as the imposter now was. Sasori was taken aback by the likeness of the two. Every detail was the same- down to every scar littering their upper bodies. Kakuzu saw past Hidan's head noticing... "HIDAN!?" He broke away from the one he had been about to fuck senseless. Said male noticed the flaw in his plan and soon improvised, jumping up and spinning himself and Hidan abruptly to hide which was the imposter. He made sure to mute Hidan before violating him and almost stealing his face. Would have succeeded had it not been for that wood-loving bomber.

"Which one is Hidan and which is Kuro?" Suki cried from over by Atari's unconscious form.

The imposter made sure to mirror Hidan's expressions exactly. Kakuzu stood, scrambling over to his other Akatsuki cohorts.

"Kuro's jutsu has improved, I see." Kakuzu praised in hopes it would spark a reaction, yet both of them scowled at him in accusation.

"I have an idea, hmm..." Deidara turned to whisper something in his former master's ear.

Kakuzu's eyes widened and he nodded enthusiastically before approaching the first Hidan. They both kept a curious face even when Kakuzu reached for his pants. He looked down a startled Hidan's pants then frowned before moving to the other. This one flinched away, scowling and even growling. He shot a nervous glance behind at Deidara whom urged the miser further. His hand shot out, grabbing at this Hidan's pants as well and looking down only to pull back abruptly.

"You're right, Deidara! Kuro's still sloppy. However... a final test..." He gave no explanation, only slamming the man in front of him against the wall (the 2nd Hidan he checked).

Hidan gave out a gasp and blushed fiercely as Kakuzu continued to choke him. Sure enough, a familiar moan of pleasure reached the miser's ears and he released Hidan before turning to Kuro who was starting to back away.

"Kuro- don't even think you're going to escape. Do you realize the bounty over your head?" Kakuzu glowered, stepping towards the imposter threateningly.

"H-how did y-you know I wasn't-"

"He has my name on him." Kakuzu replied, pulling his former partner off the ground, against the wall.

"What?" Kuro and Hidan exclaimed in unison.

"Before Deidara and I left Sara's little business and Hidan- Deidara carved my name just below his navel. The scar's still there having been traced so often. Of course- Hidan also gets hard when choked, so that was my confirmation in case you copied the scar... and for my own enjoyment, I suppose." (Kuro didn't copy the scar & Kuzu noticed on his 1st check)

He brought back a hardened fist and it slammed against Kuro's gut causing him to double over, coughing up blood. He was about to continue but that damned imposter had looked up at him with Hidan's pleading face. The imposter smirked then darted for the nearest window, jumping out and landing like the cat he was. Kakuzu was about to follow but Atari held him back.

"He is no longer a threat, Kakuzu."

"He has a bounty over his head that will end my mission though." Kakuzu was pouting.

He calmed down long enough to notice Hidan ogling at him and that he wasn't wearing his mask. His eyes widened and Hidan held something out to him. Kakuzu took his headgear and slipped it on without a word spoken by anyone.

"WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO YOUR FACE?" Hidan shouted, clearly fuming. Deidara's palm introduced itself to his face.

"Hidan-"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP BLONDIE! How could you fucking keep this from me?!" He growled, pointing at Kakuzu's face. Atari rolled his eyes and Suki hid behind him- all former bitterness against his danna forgotten.

"I'm sorry that I want to live more than I want my looks." Kakuzu choked bitterly- his anger slowly bubbling. Hidan was too busy shouting at the bomber to hear.

"I mean, just FUCKING LOOK AT HIM!"

"HIDAN!" Deidara pleaded but he continued.

"I mean- He's fucking GORGEOUS! You gotta tell me if he's got any elsewhere!"

Everyone only stared at the overenthusiastic Jashinist. Stare. Stare. Stare.

"...You... like... them?" Kakuzu felt faint- being a ninja, however, prevented him from swooning. He kept a straight face. One that was redder than Sasori's hair.

"Of course I fucking do! I dunno why- but now I wanna take you to the bedroom and-" Hidan didn't get to finish and was dragged out of the room by the stitched man who told Atari and Suki, "You two get Sasori and Deidara a room- no one disturbs us til tomorrow afternoon."

"Looks like you'll be able to fix that hard-on after-all, Deidara-senpai."

"........Shut up, Suki..."

**20. Spouse**

Kakuzu shut the door behind himself and Hidan and led the latter to the bed. Hidan remained standing and wore a frown.

"What's wrong, Hidan?"

"I'm still hungry..." Hidan explained, looking back to the fridge.

"What did he do when he threw me out?" Kakuzu stood, wrapping his arms around the smaller.

"He told me I knew nothing about you- I was worthless... and then he fucking _tried_ to rape me... He showed me what was under his- your- mask... That's when he got me... I couldn't help but look."

"Do you want to go out and find something to eat?" Kakuzu asked, his arms tightening at the word rape.

"Meh- I'd rather just lay down while you get something." Hidan scoffed.

"Alright," Kakuzu laughed then leaned close to his ear to whisper, "we should have a password-"

"How about a fried dumpling rice bowl?" Hidan purred, wriggling out of his partner's arms and throwing himself on the bed.

"How about you get off your lazy ass and set up that table and we'll dine in here."

Kakuzu didn't wait for Hidan to get up before heading out to buy dinner. Once down in the lobby, he spotted Suki and Atari talking together. Once he got closer he realized they were fighting. Suki wore a scowl and accusing look on his face while Atari was pleading and failing to seduce the little blonde Jashinist to peace.

"Suki, you can't seriously be thinking of leaving the brothel!" Kakuzu couldn't help but hover nearby, unnoticed to eavesdrop.

"Shut the _fuck_ up, Atari- I'm through! I'm only a burden to you!" Suki snapped and he noticed tears threatening to flow.

"You're not a burden. What would make you think otherwise?"

"I never bring in much of your precious money because I don't have sex with any of the clients. Fuck, the only person I've ever had sex with is Hidan! _We_ have never had sex with each other even!" Salty tears overflowed.

"Wait... when did you have sex with Hidan!?" Kakuzu shared Atari's jealousy, anger, and question.

"Why the fuck do you care?" Suki snapped, yet a sob racked his body.

"Tell me!" Atari made a move towards the other but stopped, hanging his head, "Please, love, tell me about it."

"I-It's a J-Jashinist's initiation..." Suki started, wiping his eyes with an arm, "Y-you's'posed ta join another Jashinist- Hidan and I were paired together. Now we're sorta like spouses- only until we find someone else willing to reconvert with us..."

Kakuzu started and turned, not wanting to hear anymore. He hurried to a food stand nearby offering rice and fried gyoza. He ordered the same thing Hidan had ordered. Once he had the food, he hurried back to the hotel to find Atari and Suki heading upstairs. He followed quietly.

"Are you sure you want to do this, love?"

"Of course, bastard! I've been waiting for this since that bastard Kuro stole you from me!"

"He never stole me- I was, and still am, yours and yours alone."

"Yeah right, you stupid whore..."

"Ah, c'mon, I have a heart, y'know. Tell you what- if it makes you feel better, we'll just cuddle tonight."

"I'd like that but-"

"You spoke the truth, I am indeed a whore. My religion makes me so by your definition of a whore. However, we have a rule for us and our own spouse."

"What's that?"

"We aren't expected to have intercourse with the one we truly love. Really, me not taking you is because I love you... if that makes any sense."

"It doesn't." Kakuzu finally spoke.

They stopped cold and turned to look at Kakuzu. They both blushed causing the miser to smirk and laugh.

"S-Stupid miser! Don't make fun!"

"I'm not, you two are just so cute together. It's about time... Although both of your religions suck."

"Better not let Hidan hear you say that."

They reached their floor then parted ways. Kakuzu paused at a sound coming from a door nearby. He walked off with a small smile, leaving the artists behind to hurry to his own lover. He still had questions to ask him though. He reached the door, expecting to find Hidan still lazing about and the table unmade. He opened the door and froze in the frame. Hidan was lazing about, yet the table was set as if done by a skilled busboy. The table was set for two and Kakuzu set the food on it before making his way over to the man lying on the bed, spread-eagle.

"I'm back, Hidan." Kakuzu cooed, supporting himself to hover above the back of the addressed.

"No shit." Hidan groaned, flipping to lie on his back and looping his arms around Kakuzu's neck.

"Did your sister teach you how to set tables?" He asked absentmindedly.

"Mmn... one of them. I'm fucking hungry, Kuzu." Hidan whined, using Kakuzu to pull himself up.

Kakuzu chuckled and helped the immortal to his feet and over to the table. Hidan gave a yawn before dropping his gyoza into his bowl of rice and mixing it. Kakuzu, on the other hand, was hesitant in bringing the dumpling to his mouth, still hidden by his mask. Hidan noticed.

"Oi, just take the damn thing off. I like you better without it." He scoffed, pulling a vial from one of his nearby bags.

Kakuzu obliged, pulling his mask down to reveal his stitched jaw. Hidan uncorked the vial and poured the red-orange liquid over his food. Kakuzu quirked a brow, unnoticed when the other replaced the near-empty vial back in his bag.

"What was that?" he asked, nibbling on his gyoza.

"A special spice."

"What kind?"

"One of mine..." he didn't seem too keen on talking for once, bringing a clump of the now-stained rice to his mouth.

"Do you know how old I am?" Kakuzu let the previous question go, asking this instead.

Hidan didn't answer, suddenly tense, statuesque. Kakuzu looked up from his food, startled. Hidan gave a small shudder with the inhale of breath.

"N-no..." Kakuzu wasn't sure he should tell his partner. When he told Atari and Deidara his age, they were shocked, even scared at first. Kuro didn't give a damn...

"Over a hundred." Kakuzu said at last, waiting with baited breath for his reaction.

"Heh... Kuro's right... I was way off. I really don't know you after all." Hidan choked and Kakuzu started, looking to his teary eyes.

"That's alright, Hidan... I don't know how old you are..." Kakuzu smiled lightly, reaching to stroke his partner's cheek.

"I-I'm twenty..." He answered, averting the miser's gaze and instead leaning into his caressing palm.

Again, Kakuzu let his suspicions slide. He sighed before taking a bite of another gyoza. Hidan also returned to eating once his partner's hand withdrew. The silence stretched.

"Hidan... I overheard Suki telling Atari about his spouse..." Kakuzu started awkwardly.

He prodded at the remaining dumpling. Hidan tensed once more and slowly raised his head from his own empty bowl. Their eyes bore into one another.

"I can explain," Hidan started, "I've known Suki since I first became a Jashinist. I needed a reason to keep myself from snapping for reasons I really don't want to discuss- ever. I heard about religion and their savior and my family's savior is Jashin. I went to join. In order to join, you must have a partner- a spouse, but not in a loving sense- and if both you and your partner are new you must be watched, but that's not important."

"Who watches what, Hidan?" Kakuzu urged gently.

"An initiation ritual, sex... Suki was the only one I actually got along decently with and... we didn't know what was to happen until we were led to a room with a Preist watching. We don't exchange vows, like I said, it's only sex... more friendly sex though..." Hidan clearly was having trouble yet Kakuzu understood and nodded.

"You're both just friends- the sex was only a ritual to you two. I understand, Hidan." Kakuzu smiled.

"If I can find someone I really love and is willing to convert- then I will be aloud to convert the person myself, only vows will be exchanged." Hidan exchanged further.

"Don't expect me to convert any time in my lifespan." Kakuzu snorted.

"Wasn't plannin' on it you fucking shit-headed miser!" Hidan snapped with a slight pout when silent.

"Want my last dumpling?" Kakuzu laughed lightly, Hidan's pout irresistibly cute.

He held it to Hidan's mouth whom rolled his eyes, taking a bite from the food and pulling it out of the tan hand with his mouth. Kakuzu stood, picking up the empty bowls and carrying them to the sink while the Jashinist polished off his fried gyoza. Kakuzu pulled off his cloak for the first time in front of his new lover. Hidan stood from the table and upon seeing the broad, tanned chest laced with stitched scars, he couldn't help but ogle once more. The larger noticed and snatched his wrist, dragging him over to the bed once more. He pulled the gray-haired male on top of him as he lay on his back.

Hidan giggled and placed his forearms flat on either side of Kakuzu's face. Kakuzu brought their faces together, drawing them into a passionate kiss. Hidan tried to win the tongue battle and almost succeeded- however was distracted by hands ghosting their way south. Kakuzu's mouth smirked against the zealot's before slipping his hands in his pants, resting them on his lower cheeks. Hidan's blush increased and he pulled from the kiss to let Kakuzu regain his breath. Slowly, Hidan's pants were slid down.

Kakuzu rolled them so he now hovered above, successfully yanking off the obstacle and throwing it to the side of the room. He bent and let his tongue mix with threads, dipping into his belly button. Hidan giggled, wrapping his bare legs around Kakuzu's waist, pulling to have the groins tease one another. Kakuzu moaned and stood, rolling out of the bed and hesitantly pulling his pants down with his boxers before hurrying back on top of Hidan. There weren't many stitches running past his waist line, yet Hidan couldn't care less as Kakuzu positioned himself accordingly. A shudder passed through Hidan as the other began to ease into him, unprepared. Kakuzu paused once Hidan winced and his grip on his partner tightened.

"You like it rough, right?" Kakuzu sounded a bit unsure but grinned when Hidan replied with a grin of his own.

"Bring it on, bitch."

"You asked for it- and you're the bitch." Kakuzu added, thrusting all the way in without care.

Hidan moaned out and Kakuzu withdrew a bit before slamming back in. A rhythm was made; it was like music to the lovers' ears. The moans increasing as the end was near. Hidan arching whenever his sweet spot was hit (quite often ;9)

"H-Hidan..."

"Ah! Wha-a-t?"

Kakuzu gave no answer, instead releasing deep within. Before giving in to exhaustion, he helped the Jashinist finish. He was satisfied with the moan as Hidan released, splattering the miser's hand, and any other obstacle nearby, crying his name. Kakuzu heaved a sigh, rolling to lay on his back besides his partner. They lie panting for awhile before Hidan turned to bury his face in the crook of the tan neck.

"What did you want to say... or were you just crying my name 'cause I'm fucking awesome?"

"I was going to say I love you- but you just ruined the moment." The miser growled halfheartedly, moving so they were facing each other, lying on their sides.

"Fuck- I love ya too, miser." Hidan smirked, his eyelids drooping.

"Please don't start rubbing in my age like the others." Kakuzu sighed, drooping his arm over his lover and drawing him close to his chest to rest his chin on the gray locks turned silver by the limited moonlight.

"No promises- although... we didn't get a chance to use those chains..." Hidan struggled to stay awake a moment longer.

"I have chains and much more fun awaiting at the base... Hidan... if you want."

"Mn, fuck yeah..." Hidan trailed, slipping into the world of dreams, wrapped in Kakuzu's loving arms.

* * *

_Author Note of Doom!_

_*dies* My head is killing me... I have been sleep-deprived while writing a majority of this... I think it's almost over- save the sequels and prequels... I know that I for sure have to add the SasoDei chapter before this ends... so yay- SasoDei coming up... xD coming... sorry..._xD you're in the presence of a perv...


	13. April Fools

**FAIL**

Oh dear... It appears as though I have run a blank and can no longer continue this story. -sigh- I'm sure you were all soo looking forward to the SasoDei smut chap... -sigh-

* * *

Deidara: You are an evil, evil .... what are you?

Your worst nightmare.

Hidan: Bitch

Happy birthday, Hidan.

Kakuzu: It's his birthday? Shit...

You forgot your bf's bd? Way to go...

* * *

Anyways, I will be posting a second "version" of this cause I didn't like how this turned out... not even liking the new one -shrug- No matter~ Not continuing this story. I am wanting badly to try AU, would you all be interested? -wonders if she should make a poll- Smut takes so long to write. xDD

*returns to request(s)*

Eh, Birthday Present for Hida-chan:

* * *

"Ugh... stupid dipshit... forget my birthday, dare you?" Hidan grumbled, pacing the hallway closet.

"Eh?! You had a birthday~?" Phox popped up, startling Hidan.

"W-where did you come from?"

"Your vagina."

"I don't-"

"Sh~! Kakuzu's lookin' for you, he said he'd raise my allowance if I found you."

Hidan could do nothing as he was dragged from the closet and back to his room. She plopped him on the floor in front of an agitated miser.

"Thank you, Phox, now go away." Kakuzu growled, picking Hidan up by his cloak collar.

"But I wanna know how old Hidan is~!"

"Go to bed."

"No. How old are you, Hida?"

"I'm 23."

"How long have you been 23?"

"... Awhile."

Phox gave a nod then skipped from the room.

"That was..."

"Random... How old are you really?" Kakuzu set Hidan on the double bed at his side.

"23. I'm immortal and have gone through my 23rd birthday about... 2 times... My age restarts at 60. You do the math, miser."

"83?"

Hidan laughed with a shrug, leaning into Kakuzu. Kakuzu frowned upon not receiving confirmation but wrapped an arm around his uke's shoulders. His free hand reached over to the bedside table to pull out a box. He handed it to Hidan.

"Whazzit?" Hidan mumbled, sitting up and proceeding to dig through it.

"Present, obviously, dumbfuck." Kakuzu rolled his eyes while his partner pulled out a bad and in the bag was strong ropes.

"What the fuck?"

Hidan would be found in the morning, tied to the bed with the bag tied over his head, passed out from the wild and exhausting night.

"That was cruel..." Phox drawled.

"Eh, I'll make it up to him next year... maybe..."

* * *

HURRAY FOR RANDOMNESS!!!


	14. Last

**21. Where Were We?**

Deidara and Sasori followed Atari to a nearby room with Suki bringing up the rear. Atari unlocked the door, opening it then stepping aside to allow the two partners in.

"You guys can have this room tonight. Try not to get too loud, love." He added, looking to Deidara.

"Yeah, yeah." Deidara replied, rolling his eyes and closing his old friend out.

"We'll be in the next room over if Blondie ain't enough!" Atari shouted with a laugh.

"That's it Atari! We need to fucking talk—Now!" Suki snarled.

Deidara and Sasori looked to each other in confusion before shrugging the thought off. They looked around the room, noticing that it had a trunk similar to Kakuzu's lying on the floor. As Sasori got closer, he noticed a note.

_Dei,_

_I thought I'd bring this with us in case you got a room... which you did. Just make sure you remember to put them back when you two are done fucking._

_With Love, Suki_

"That bastard is sick... no wonder he acts the way he does after being in that brothel..." Sasori mumbled as Deidara opened the trunk.

"Should we pick up where we left off, hmm?" Deidara smirked, ignoring the comment.

He turned around with a blindfold and the cuffs in hand. Sasori smirked as well, pulling the blonde to the bed. He pushed him to lie on his back before handcuffing, blindfolding, and crawling on top of him. The fishnet and black half top had been discarded long before handcuffing. Sasori swept down to steal a kiss, cold hands maneuvering their way around Deidara's torso. On the return trip north they hovered around the fourth mouth. His delicate fingers toyed with the stitches, causing the under to squirm.

"I had no choice..." He whined.

"...I like them..."

Sasori purred, nuzzling him. Deidara wrapped his arms around his seme's neck, letting his hands lick his back. Sasori pulled back before returning, pulling off the lower clothing articles in the impatient manor he is known so well for. Deidara gasped at the feel of his tongue to his burning erection. Sasori continued to give head until Deidara, still heated from earlier morning events, was on edge once more before pulling away with a smirk, wiping his face.

"J-Jerk!" Deidara pouted seductively.

"Like this?"

The redhead's hand flashed to the blonde's member and gave it a rough jerk. A long moan escaped said uke and Sasori took that time to prepare him, forcing his fingers in the gaped mouth before trailing the index down the center of his body. He traced the rim of muscles before making an entrance.

"Mmm! Ah, m-more, Danna!"

Deidara writhed under and Sasori decided to skip further preparation. He was impatient, after all. Deidara cried out at the sudden entry. His mouth hung open in a silent cry. Sasori paused, worried he might have been too hasty after all. Then Deidara caught his breath and smirked up at the puppet. At this silent command, the redhead continued. They continued til the steady rhythm broke soon after being birthed. Their fingers twisted in one another's hair, they moaned out and Deidara's bliss came moments before his seme's.

Said seme pulled out slowly, collapsing next to Deidara. Deidara sighed in content briefly before burrying his face in the crook of Sasori's neck.

"Remind me to clean up tomorrow morning..."

"Mn... 'kay..."

* * *

"Oi, Sasori, Deidara! Get your asses up and in gear!"

"Deidara, don't complain either- Hidan's ass is just fine."

Kakuzu stood outside the artists' door while Hidan pounded on it. The two trying to sleep within groaned. Sasori sat up first, slowly. The expression upon his face was one to be feared. Deidara stirred besides him, awoken by the banging. He sat up once Sasori was out of the bed, marching straight for the door, still bare. The door was swung open sending Hidan tumbling to the floor at the redhead's feet. Kakuzu, suddenly realizing there was no banging and no Hidan, sighed and pulled Hidan to his feet and back into the hall.

"Pain will be waiting, get dressed."

Deidara made his way to the bathroom just before his partner slammed the door closed and shuffled over to join him. They met for a brief saliva exchange before jumping in for a short shower. It was quite spacious and Deidara suspected why almost immediately. He prayed that Sasori hadn't picked up any things from the other members. It would be a pain in the ass heading back to base after so many times.

"Oi Kakuzu, just what's with this organization anyways?" Hidan prod his partner whom was reading a paper provided by one of the "servers".

His question was ignored and he scoffed, shaking his head in agitation. He returned to polishing his pendant. Suki soon joined him as soon as he and Atari spotted the two. Kakuzu looked over the paper at them, inquisitive- Atari looked shy; '_Unusual._' thought Kakuzu.

He watched Suki lean over to Hidan and whisper into his ear. The Jashinists exchanged a quick glance at Atari before getting up and walking away. Kakuzu put down his paper. Atari stopped him from following.

"Wait, love..." He started, still looking down at the table, "I'm real sorry about yesterday... I was just so confused." He shook his head slowly, "I want so badly to sleep with Suki, but my religion doesn't allow it. I assumed that, given my wanting him, he wasn't the one I loved... but when I think about it, that's wrong. I- of all whores- am actually willing to give everything I want up for him." He shot Kakuzu a coy smirk, "Even you."

"You say you thought you didn't love him because you wanted to sleep with him. You claimed to have loved me... Does that mean you think I'm a bad lay?" Kakuzu responded with a very, very slight tint of playfulness.

"Not at all! I wanted to sleep with you so badly! I mean you let me to-" Kakuzu slapped a hand over Atari's mouth just as their Jashinists returned.

"Shh! And you swore you and Deidara would _never_ mention that again." He hissed while he could, retracting his hand.

"Oi, what are you two fuckers whisperin' about?" Hidan scoffed.

"Nothing Hidan..."

The four ate breakfast together, waiting for the artists. Kakuzu had no complaints considering Atari offered to pay in order to make up for all past actions. By the time they finished, Sasori and Deidara made their appearance.

"About time. Let's go. Boat leaves in five." Kakuzu grunted, already heading out the door.

AOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAO

Sorry, guys, that's all I had to offer for this ending. No matter, at least it ended and I can resume writing it's better half, which has no title as of yet.

However I'd appreciate if you look through my other stories- they hopefully won't be this confusing in the future... hopefully. xDD

Thank you so much every one of you for showing your support- this was officially my very first fan-fiction ever.

Which is probably why I stopped writing it... : /

Love, YaoiPhox

LALALALALAALAA

Like these pairings?

\\\\\\\( : ) )///////

KakuHida- I has it

SasoDei- I has it

MadaTobiZet- I has it

KisaIta- I has it


End file.
